pan flute

Sure have

Im So Sorry

I Care Deeply For You

Relationships are like a pizza

explain

what’s today’s mood lads

he does not deserve a nose

uwahh…!!! *magical girl transformation but instead i turn into a dead body*

yes

You Would Kill For Me ?

yes

You Would Die For Me ?

absolutely

So You Would Do Anything For Me ?

anything

I Can See My Eyes

i’m a good man and i’m well versed in the social sciences but i think the funniest thing in the world would be a guy gently peeing a few urinals down, you know, nothing weird, but he pulled down his pants to his knees to do it, okay so you’re feeling a little uneasy but he’s just peeing, you can’t see anything, but instead of just putting his dick away at the end he smack his hands together like he’s done fixing a car yells “WELL! TIME TO SHIT!” spins around on one foot and squats and farts into the urinal i mean what would i even do i don’t know i’d book it for sure i wouldn’t stick around for a second fart and i’d be terrified but i think after the fact nothing would ever make me laugh again you know

how do you pee gently

well you don’t just blast off like a horse before a race you kind of stand or sit it works the same no extra muscles involved if you’re the type to do either i reckon but you just sort of close your eyes and let it flow and you’ll note how weak the stream is. that’s all

*writing down very fast and quickly* hmmnn yes i see… thank you for your time

oh, ah… one more thing before you go, ma’am?

*writing down even more faster and quicker* yes?

pour one out for all the people who’s messages went unanswered because i told myself i’d answer them later but when later came around i decided it was Too Late

how do you know that im not any of those women

All These Women Are ME