softer daze ahead.

that could make a birds hum

seem like an earthquake.

I could hear your heart racing

running laps around our nervousness

Shifting our weight from one foot to the next

from me to you

I spoke first

my voice trembling like a mirror beneath my feet

I asked why you were sent to me

you reminded me

In order to grow

You must first be able to recognize yourself

Even in the presence of someone else.

I never quite learned how to swim

But still I find myself drawn to the ocean

And the way it moves

across the shoreline

And I

find myself

clingIng on to you

like a lifeboat

Praying we can make it through all of the tough waves

like pointless arguments about the toilet seats

Like disagreements about the food we eat

Like late night conversations

and me giving you advice about the girl you chose to make a home out of

before you realized that your body

was a sanctuary

I don't think you ever quiet understood

I saw things in you she could never see

You we're more than just a beautiful boy

with

eyes blue like the Sea

To me

It was more to you than what they could see

You

You were

the ocean in all of its glory

You were the waves

So angelic , so

complexed and unphased

You couldn't

only be a lifeboat

Something so small in a

concept so big

And No matter how hard I tried

I could never hold on

To you

I just had to let go because

every time I would reach for you

It was drowning me

It was

Draining me

It was becoming apparent

that there was no way

you could keep me Safe

Because you were the ocean

You were

The waves

And as beautiful as you seem to be

You had the power of crushing me

The power

Of drowning

me

Of spreading throughout my lungs

And taking my breath away

You were the ocean in all of its glory

And I

I never quite learned how to swim

I grew a garden full of roses and daffodils with your name on it.

Oh, silly me, my mama warned me not to plant flowers in people's yards who aren't willing to care for them.

My mama told me to keep men like you at a distance.

My mama told me true love will come to you,

True love will chase after you,

True love will grab you by your ankles like grapevines,

And have you feeling like God's grace is washing over you like the ocean.

True love will sing you every love song it's ever known to keep the peace.

And if it fails,

True love will build armies of men to fight for you,

True love will come and lay its head on your shoulder,

whisper in your ear,

"This is it, this is how it feels to be loved."