GO Fan Fiction Writers Throwback Thursday: I REALLY FUCKING LOVE YOU (M)
This post comes courtesy of @curiouspupsicle, who not only put the idea of Throwback Thursdays into my head, but gently nudged me in the right direction â and even made this spiffy banner for me. Thank you, my dear! đ
My Throwback Thursday fic simply had to be my first serious Good Omens story â because it is still, perhaps, the one with the most of me in it.
And somehow, it changed my life.
I am a professional copywriter. I have written for a living for over thirty years, but I had not written anything just for myself in more than twenty of it. I was happy, nerdy, endlessly optimistic, and joyful anyway â until, in 2019, life suddenly became very quiet.
My best friend died suddenly. He was only forty-two, and one of the great loves of my life. Half a year later, I lost both my cats within a month. Then, early in 2020, my lovely, vibrant, far-too-young mum died too - five days before the first Corona lockdown.
After that, I did what I could: I went to work. I kept functioning. But I stopped reading properly. I stopped making things. Loving things. I stopped having fun. I stopped feeling much of anything, really â except when I was in London.
London was the one place on earth that still felt real.
And then, in 2023, Good Omens Season Two came along.
I had been a fan of the book since 1992, and I loved the first season. But this was different. It made something in my heart move again. It made me laugh, obsess, imagine. Slowly, colour came back into my life.
A few weeks later, on my next trip to London, I went to Walthamstow â and promptly lost my mind in Godâs Own Junkyard: a neon museum-shop-paradise, and possibly the most magical place on earth. Then I found myself in the churchyard of St Maryâs Church, Walthamstow.
And there it was: the beginning of a story.
I REALLY FUCKING LOVE YOU is a reincarnation-and-rebirth story, a love story, and a love letter to London. I put every bit of the London I adore into it. Every bit of my love for history, literature, mythology, and a million other nerdy things besides.
It is a little rough around the edges. Completely chaotic. Unrefined in places. But there is more of me in it than in anything I have written since.
And then, having written it, I was far too shy and frightened to post it.
I am German. I was convinced my English would not be good enough â that the prose would be too tame, too German, too obviously written by someone who loved the language from the outside.
But last July, I took the plunge. I put it on AO3. And I have not looked back since. 360,000 posted words and counting.
This fandom was kind. Enthusiastic. Clever. It gave this story a home â and, unexpectedly, gave me one too.
One of the first people to welcome me with open arms was @curiouspupsicle. She has made time for every one of my stories since, and she always will be my Fairy Fic Godmother. I am beyond grateful.
I found my niche here. It is small, but cosy â and entirely mine.
I found friends: people who cared about the strange, specific things I wanted to write. And I found that writing could be joyful again.
So this is the fic that started it all:
I REALLY FUCKING LOVE YOU (25.778 words) by thisisshiny
23 chapters (yes, far too much for the word count. I didn't know better then)
Relationship: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Original Cat Character(s). The Bookshop (Good Omens), London
Additional Tags: Reincarnation, Second Chances, Undead, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sort Of, Alternate Universe - Human, also sort of, Slow Romance, 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), Emotional Support Cat, London, London as a living character, Queer History, London history
Summary:
Crowley died. Sort of. It didnât stick.
Now heâs back - not a demon, not a human, just... mostly undead, vaguely unlabelled, and maybe in love with an angel heâs never seen before in his life. Or has he?
Aziraphale is finally done pretending he doesnât remember. Or want. Or care. Turns out, 6,000 years of repressed affection, divine bureaucracy, and one very snarky bastard who keeps returning can wear a principality down.
They were always going to find each other again. Maybe this time they get it right.
This is a story about breaking the cycle. About memory, desire, undead metaphysics, jealousy, fate, and a love that refuses to stay buried.
Also: titans, kissing, drag queens, glam rock, a bench in Berkeley Square, a cat, always London.
And a neon sign that says exactly what you think it does.
