b i g f e e l i n g s.

any moment spent outside of her own office was a moment she was actively looking for; any excuse, even the smallest one, was good enough to get her out of there. a job was a job, of course, but... even a hermit like sasha needed to get out, sometimes !! a subtle smile never leaving her lips, she continued to observe bomi's behaviour, "perfect. i believe that part is somewhat settled, then ??" she figured she would ask, out of courtesy. she had people to take care of it, so there was no need for her to check the mails, personally. thank god for the assistants !!

"oh, i can see that, clear as day..." did she ?? or was sasha just... simply agreeing with a gorgeous woman, no matter what she said ?? could be both !! either way, a curt nod followed her words — she was listening. of course, she was. "bold of you to assume i will not charm my way into your office again..." it wasn't a threat, god no. a promise, more like it.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🪨 ⋅ kyungmo's eyebrows raised every so slightly in surprise ; he had expected a much curter reaction -- he knew of the nature of hawk and gemma's relationship, and had come to expect little but eyerolls and sarcasm from gemma's friend. especially considering he was a man, and though he very well knew that speculation was rude & uncalled for ( his ex-wife had taken advantage of their divorce to out him to mutual friends, in a bid to get them on her side ), he couldn't help but feel as though hawk didn't exactly favour men. call it a hunch.

he motioned to the couch, a moroccan nouveau-riche style thing with an array of cushions on top, before making his way to the coffee machine, where he proceeded to hit seemingly random buttons. even the coffee table was brimming with tasteless decorations: random bibelots, a plushie or two, magazines -- both gemma's own and rivals' ( some may call it corporate spying, but gemma merely called it wisdom, inspiration ) -- and the center piece, a big artsy vase with purple paper flowers in it. to her credit, the fake flowers were relatively realistic, enough to have fooled kyungmo at first. that said, divorced dads perhaps aren't to be trusted when it comes to assessing the authenticity of flowers !!

❝ gemma is ... ❞ yes, she was strangle-able. she was annoying, and far too crass. she, too, had used kyungmo's bisexuality against him on more than one occasion ... even though gemma was bisexual herself. it made no sense to him, but he figured she was simply too much of a brain-broken content goblin, and he was too much of a 40 year old finance bro. they simply were not on the same wavelength. with time, he'd grown accustomed to ignoring gemma's more ... unsavoury remarks, if only for the paychecks at the end of each week.

❝ ... i thought you quite liked her, ❞ he hesitated. ❝ she speaks highly of you. i mean, as highly as she's willing to go. ❞ he cleared his throat and handed the cup to hawk, neglecting to ask about milk or cream or sugar cubes ; he was still somewhat taken aback by the situation, by the mere fact that hawk was willing to have a conversation with him. frankly ... he was scared of them, just like he had been scared of gemma, though for entirely different reasons.

they move over to the... eye-catching ( see, they can be nice !! ) couch to sit down. it was surprisingly comfortable, and they cannot help but think about it each and every single time they find themselves on it.

the familiarity... dawon could probably walk through the entire space with their eyes closed, at this point. a routine, of some kind. monotonous. boring. so unlike them to stick around.

their heart starts to beat faster, making them feel... alive, as if they have something to look forward to. silly things, being an annoyance, disrupting gemma's peace — it became a some kind of ritual to start or end their day.

would they feel any different if it just stopped, abruptly ?? they don't even want to think about it.

coffee brought hawk back to reality; silently thanking the man for even bothering to hand them the cup. not a second had to pass by for them to take a sip. black. no sugar. bland, and yet... flavorful enough to ground them.

"the most i have said to her is that i don't hate her." the truth was, it has already started to become something more than that.

"i am intrigued by her lack of integrity, laced with poor fashion choices and how fuckin' loud she can get, just talking..." dawon continued, unsure whether they wanted kyungmo to listen and start reading between the lines. "her eardrum-piercing laughter... — how she thinks she's above everyone..." all this time, they are staring into nothingness, afraid if they look at something, they will explode.

୧ ‧₊˚ 📿 ⋅ g - germ ... ?? mistreating kyungmo ... ?? oh, gemma would never !! never in a thousand years -- she was just career-driven, and kyungmo failed to match her freak, and so it sometimes looked like she was pushing him, but he was a grown man, he could handle the pressure, and gemma was ever so lenient toward him, because he was an asset, and ... he, well ... knew big words, and ...

oh, who was she kidding ?? he was just easy to keep around, much like the succulents in her office. low maintenance, high reward. ( she also kept venus flytraps, but stephanie usually cared for them, as gemma found herself forgetting to feed them ) ❝ kyungmo's here by choice, you know. he can leave if he wants to, but he doesn't. i think he likes me, hawk. ❞ germy made a pouty face. in her head, she looked like the cat from shrek ; in practice ... she looked like gemma ; take that as you will.

she straightened her back again, and her pitiful eyes took on an inquisitive look. ❝ were you really gonna ask ?? you big pervert, ❞ she said, shaking her head disapprovingly. ❝ two women aren't even enough to keep you satisfied ... you need a third !! and i'm in your sights !! ❞ she got up, smoothed her skirt -- the bracelets on her arms clinked and clanked against one another in a metallic cacophony -- and approached hawk. thank god she'd worn her heels that day.

they would save that man, if they could. hawk will leave it at that. "there's definitely a difference between liking someone, and... having to keep a job to make the ends meet, i'll have you know." they'd point out, eventually. not that they knew anything about kyungmo's financial situation; they were not going to pry this information out of him, even though he always feels like he's three seconds away from spilling his entire life story to them.

it was... oddly endearing. in an old man trying to impress ( or depress ) someone kind of way, if they had to be specific.

"what can i say ?? i'm simply greedy like that..." this was a bit, right ?? they weren't actually considering gemma's words as if they were completely unfiltered and true, right ?? "usually, i like 'em tall, but for you, i could make an exception." an unnecessary dig at her height, but they'll continue, even if gemma was inching closer to them, attempting to somehow, somewhat intimidate them.

poor chances, but hawk will let this play out — with a smile. a rare sight in itself.

they'd stifle a laughter, threatening to spill from their slightly-chapped lips, letting gemma take the lead for a moment. an observation was to be made, some pointers in regards to her methods begging to be said, but... they will keep that to themselves.

"you don't like me ??" that was all they could ask about. looking down on the woman before her, dawon placed a hand on the top of her head. "how can i break your heart, if there's nothing in that ribcage of yours to be broken, hmm ?? i can try... — but to no avail." they could. would they do it, though ?? not really. no. even the worst of the worst deserved some mercy, from time to time.

talking to margot felt like watching the paint dry, most days. she knew that. being as weak of a conversationalist as she was, she still thought this was a topic worth continuing. head tilting to the side, the artist observed the other, waiting for him to snap back to reality. no crude comments necessary — self-awareness was a key part of bettering her social skills. so... she waited. patiently.

if this was an animated series, of some kind, one would definitely hear the echoing noise coming from inside of her skull. but, sometimes, even a barren wasteland had good days !! thus, a single thought was born, "what else am i supposed to do, other than eat hot chip, and lie ??" not much else to do around these parts, really. a big sigh leaving her lips, byeol had to admit the defeat one way or another. a simple nod, again, soon following.

"this feels awfully motivated !! didn't you know i'm italian ??" no, she did not say that with a straight face ( she did not even know what 'straight' was, at this point ). the packet just... sticking out of her pants, staying there, untouched. "am i... supposed to cook, and eat all'a that alone ?? or... is this your way of telling me you're coming over, hmm ??" not the best way to invite someone, but this will do.

୧ ‧₊˚ ⛓️ ⋅ interesting ?! rei had hardly sat down, and already they were contemplating defenestration. had she seen their album titles ?! had she heard ... no ... not the greatest shits ... now, being criticized online was one thing ; they had resolved to never read comments without the company of their friends, and so they'd often end up laughing at criticism instead of crying. but the thought of being thoroughly roasted in person, and by a pretty ( and quirky !! ) girl, no less ... sent a shiver down their spine. not that that was a rarity -- poor rei. even as they made their way to alice's apartment, their heart had almost gone into overdrive. they were, clearly, a scaredy cat through and through, and so ...

they looked down at the floor, shame seeping into their choked up thoughts. and if they didn't already hate themselves enough, they now had to compose with the self-deprecation that came with their hypersensitive tendencies !! all that over their music being called interesting !? ridiculous, rei. get a grip. it might be a misunderstanding.

❝ i, uh, ❞ they stammered, before finally smiling tentatively ( for once !! ) and explaining : ❝ i'm bad at questions, sorry. ❞ a short pause, during which they regained their composure through a deep breath, though they were still staring at their clammy clasped hands. ❝ i guess -- it's just like you. when inspiration strikes. i guess ... when i'm in a good mood, i write music ... when i'm in a shit mood, i write lyrics. ❞ they scratched the back of their head, as it had dawned on them that clammy hands were NOT the way to go. hopefully unclasping them would help.

❝ my therapist says it's a healthy coping mechanism, but i really hope they don't find out what the hell my music sounds like. they'd send me straight to grippy sock jail, i fear. ❞ wait -- were mental health jokes safe to make ?! what if yijia were an anti-recovery freak ?! or worse, a sjw ?! rei chuckled uneasily.

"it's fine. there's no pressure to be quick with your answers, i... really, really mean it." one's comfort should always come first. boundaries, whether they were normal, or... quite out there, would be respected by the artist. as someone who hasn't been treated well by a large amount of people online, this girl surely knows not to pry anything out of them by force.

yijia was curious, sure !! but... rei's well-being was more important than anything she could ever think of. "i'm not good with words, especially when i am caught off-guard, you know ?? so, whenever you feel like i am doing too much... — just let me know, yeah ?? take your time, and all that."

she'd nod, reluctantly. "i know the feeling all too well. i'm sure mine would be clutching her pearls after hearing the sounds that i am capable of making," it's called 'singing', but... was it, really ?? most of the noises were just a compilation of screams, and... whatever else was there. recording booth ?? heard it all. no ears were left unscarred, if she had to be honest. "here's hoping the socks come in black, too..." yijia added, as an afterthought. might as well join in on the jokes, no ??