THIS-CLAN-DOES-NOT-EXIST

Tw/Cw for: Violence, Animal Death, Cannibalism, Demonic Cat Bullshit and more.

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This is THIS CLAN DOES NOT EXIST, a Clangen Blog about Clawclan, one of many clans that live in THE BLESS E D LAN DS, where they follow odd, unnerving traditions away from the outside world. The one that they worship? A SAVI OUR, of course! Twisted fauna, Rabid Twolegs, and the HARVEST, enjoy the little misadventures of these little morsels of fun as they navigate their Paradise!

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#THIS MOON DOES NOT EXIST - Moon Updates #THIS ASK DOES NOT EXIST - Asks sent to the Blog #THIS LORE DOES NOT EXIST - Any post pertaining to the lore of THIS CLAN DOES NOT EXIST #THIS FANART DOES NOT EXIST - Any fan art done for the blog #THIS ART DOES NOT EXIST - Art made by me personally for the blog, separate posts usually

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You didn't expect to see what you found down that alley.

You'd heard the groaning and rattling of something dying, or at least, you think it was dying.

Then again, maybe it had already been dead before. You couldn't tell.

The damn thing was too tall, too thin to be something normal. It looked like a lamb but wasn't a lamb. By no means did it look like a cat, but you knew. You felt it, that thing WAS a cat.

It was pushed against the wall of the alley, its breath rattling and shaking, as though it was afraid of something.

It paid no mind to you as you stepped closer. Shine stayed behind, as if she knew something was wrong.

As if she knew exactly what this was.

The face, it's eyes sunken and filled with fear, did not move. it could not look to you, as its limbs pushed further back to the wall.

Why was it doing that?

You tried to reach down to calm it, to try and soothe whatever pain it was going through, but it made another horrible rattle. In any other situation, it would have ran away.

But something was keeping it from doing so.

Its eyes moved to look at you, quivering as it looked to you as if to beg you to do something, anything.

The shotgun.

The shotgun?

...

Yes, your father's shotgun.

It made sense to. It was in pain, wasn't it?

Better to let it die than to let it suffer, crushing itself against the wall and rattling in its breathe.

Shine seemed to be worried about something, meowing for you as you put the barrel to the cryptid's head.

You counted very briefly, for just a few minutes..

Just a few..

...

The bang from the blow could be heard for miles, in that little alley way.

You stepped away with tears in your eyes, the thing you had found now at peace.

Something in your heart told you that it truly was at peace. As if angels had scooped it up from its place of discomfort, telling it that everything was going to be alright.

Shine's meowing had gotten louder. She was practically clawing at your pants, fur bristled on end.

What was wrong? It was dead now, she had nothing to worry about?

You looked.

The fog?

What was it doing so close?

You stepped further into it, Shine by your side.

...

...

Town was quiet. Too quiet. Almost silent even, not a single person in sight.

There were people here before you had gone into that Alley.

..What the hell happened?

[ Alright Hiatus is over, i'm back. Sorry it was like six days instead of five, that joke post I made with the Zaminations screenshot has probably aged poorly because of that but whatever. ]

[ I'm gonna work whenever I can on the next moons. And hopefully, have time for my main blog since i've been neglecting that a bit. ]

[ Am I the asshole for being fucking livid and pissy with my family while they "Help" pack for a 5-day field trip while being loud and annoying and kind of just being in the way and doing everything and arguing about which bags are bigger or whatever the fuck to the point I need like 2-3 hours of not being around people or else i'll kill them? ]

[ I feel very irrational about this and yet very rational because I feel like somehow and some way my autonomy was not considered in this. And all of this in general is not um. BODING WELL. For my experience these next several days. ]

[ … ]

[ .. FIVE. NIGHTS. ]

[ Is this all I do now? Just fucking complaining about how miserable I am knowing that everyone else is doing better and not as fucked up mentally as me? ]

[ I feel like a fucking asshole. I promised myself I’d at least get stuff out for this blog before I go on hiatus and I fucking lied like always. ]

[ I hate this. I hate constantly breaking down or feeling like what people in my life are telling me is dishonest or lies. I can’t keep fucking making promises. ]

[ Will I even get a new fucking computer? Has my bitch ass worrying about the next big thing really been worth it? ]

[ The worst part is none of my problems are coming from here. ]

[ GOD I love this game. The asthetic, the art style, the GUNS BABY THE GUNS! Like legit you can just get a brain in a jar. Funniest shit i've ever seen. And it's british, ew. ]

[ But I just fucking LOVE the story. It could've been any other kind of first person shooter with no story and just killing enemies, but it actually WENT the mile to craft a good story and good characters. Honestly I think Stilton is my favorite so far besides Jack because believe me, he's no saint. He's a politician with his hands in plenty of stuff, but at least he KNOWS that, and doesn't try to hide it. He even says it himself, how if someone dirty in that way tries to paint themselves as a saint, then you know damn well they aren't. He's an idealist, sure, but he HAS power to make things better and WANTS to. ]

[ And I just love how the BMP plays into it. Fuck nazis to the max dude. They could have had any other kind of villain, but I love that they had the balls to be accurate to the 30's time it takes place in by having fascists elitist asshole mice, that and the whole thing going on with the shrews. Like damn, those poor little guys :( The asylum level was pretty trippy especially with what came after it, but even then. GOD. They do a pretty good job of presenting them as assholes even from the very beginning from newspapers to the posters in-game that paint a very "Oh these guys are fucked up" vibe. ]

[ BUT. ]

[ For whatever reason, it's not letting me paste it in. Because its note the right "File" type. ]

[ I'm sorry i'm sorry godammit i'm so fucking sorry ]

[ I need a break but I can't STAND the thought of taking one. I need peace but every waking moment of my life is constant nagging and demand away from what keeps me sane. Have I ever been sane, truly? Because the more I think about it, the more disgusted I am in myself. ]

[ What do I even do anymore? I want so desperately to see this through to the end and not end it early like every other project that never made it past a few weeks before I feared failure. I so desperately want this to end too, because so much goes on away from it that sometimes I can't even focus on it. ]

[ I have to continue on and yet I shouldn't, if not for my own safety. ]

[ Well. El Tigre guy fucking supports Gen Ai. ]

[ ... ]

[ GODDDDD I feel like shit about this. Fucking weight sucks fucking being on the brink of diabetes because of my eating and thanks to my fucking dad's genetics fucking SUCKS. I shouldn't eaten like two things of cookie cake today I should have put my foot down GOD DAMMIT. ]

[ What's worse is I feel horrible about it even though I know this doesn't rush itself. Im done with being afraid of this I just want this shit out OF MY BODY NOW

[ Currently I have a save catered specifically to the next Clangen Blog Project I intend to do, which I won't go into TOO much about. ]

[ I know I've brought up before about moving saves in the event of something happening to this shitty computer I run it on, so I won't bore you with what I've asked then. HOWEVER, the chance of me getting a better computer is getting more and more likely due to *cough* *cough* grad money *cough* ]

[ EITHER WAY, that's really good! What's really BAD is I don't wanna lose what I currently have as I haven't done anything with it outside of code tampering for preferred results and whatnot, and I don't know if I have the patience to go through all THAT again. Which is why I bring this up. ]

[ I don't really have a USB or the means to move the Save off normally, especially what happened LAST TIME LOOKING AT YOU CLANGEN TECH SUPPORT >:( ]

[ What do you think I should do? Realistically im thinking a PC which would probably run better than this Mac which is way older than it should be, like 10+ years, but I don't know if I should just wait until then and figure it out or, idk make a copy that actually works and trust myself to put it somewhere safe. Any ideas? ]

[ I feel like a horrible person. Im such a fucking piece of shit. ]

[ Does anyone even LIKE what im doing with this blog rn? Im losing traction and im scared everyone will just forget this like its no big deal. ]

[ I lost about two followers because I kept forgetting to put the tag down for vent posts and. I dont know what's wrong with me. ]

[ I think there might just be something irreversibly broken in me I desperately want it out. ]

[ I love this blog I really do. Im so happy how far it's gotten. ]

[ But its getting close to the end. I dont like that. I dont want to let go of this. This is one of the ONLY things that I think people have been relatively invested in regarding things I've made, not to sell myself short of course. ]

[ I just. I dont understand anymore. ]