ed and mental health recover and support ❤️

Little personal update:

For the past 10 months i have been in and out of psychiatric acutes and residential programs. It's been a hard journey, but I've learned a lot and come a long way. I'll write more about all this in separate posts, but here's a summary:

- I spent 6 months in an acute hospital

- In October I was moved to a residential program in another state

- I was diagnosed with and treated for: BPD (borderline personality disorder), social anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, anorexia, and bulimia

- I gained a lot of experience with different therapy options such as CBT, DBT, OT, group therapies, and family therapy

- I turned 17 (:

- I learned a lot about myself and did a lot of reflection and healing

I'm back in school, and I'm doing much better. I don't want to make this super long, but i miss y'all and if you have any questions or anything you want me to talk about DM me 💕

I also just want to say that things do really get better. This time last year I was inpatient, suicidal, anorexic, and at a very low point in my life. I thought the pain i was feeling would never end, and i thought about death all the time. Today i am going to see a movie with a friend and applying for a job at a local restaurant. I am 5 months clean from self harming. And i am so grateful i didn't end my own life when that was all i wanted to do.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Nothing lasts forever. You will not be here forever. There is hope, there is reason to go on. Even when it feels utterly impossible that it could ever get better, it will.

It's okay to not know who you are yet, or who you're going to be. You'll be okay. You'll figure it out, one day at a time. Deep breath.

As i said in my last post, i was recently diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder (BPD), so I thought I would make a post about it, what it is, how it affects me, etc.

BPD is a personality disorder characterized by unstable mood, relationships, and identity. The symptoms i struggle with the most personally are feeling like I have no identity, abandonment issues, unstable emotions/mood swings, self destructive habits, and impulsivity.

My relationships are often intense and draining for both people, and I have a tendency to suddenly overvalue or undervalue people at random. I’ll have times when I feel invincible and super happy, and then my friend will text something in a different tone and suddenly I’m crying because I’m afraid they hate me.

BPD, like most personality disorders, is often really stigmatized. We are made out to be manipulative and abusive. I am not a monster. Although my disorder makes me more prone to abusive behaviors because of my own symptoms, I am working hard to get my symptoms under control. I am struggling and if I hurt anyone in any way it is never my intention.

Hiiii!!!

Im sorry everyone, I've been gone the past month because I was at an inpatient hospital after another suicide attempt. I learned a lot there though about myself and how to better cope, and i want to use this to help you guys too. While i was there i was treated for my anxiety, depression, and eating disorder, and was also diagnosed with BPD, which I'll be talking about in another post!