Things TV Taught Me

#30. Toxic waste only affects unmutated DNA.

#29. No matter how weird your family seems, there is always a weirder one out there.

#28. Mixing bleach and ammonia will produce mustard gas, NOT a powerful cleaning solution.

#27. No matter how much you claim you aren't, there's always a chance you ARE the father.

#26. Colors like cerulean, vermilion, celadon, saffron, pewter, and fuchsia.

#25. "Heifer" is another word for cow.

#24. FBI agents always drive a Ford Taurus.

#23. James Woods likes candy.

#22. Steaks on a grill should be flipped a maximum of 2 times.

#21. It's OK to see unicorns, just don't talk about it.

#20. Y-O-U'R-E means you are Y-O-U-R means Your!

#19. Women over 50 still have sex--and it's still good, if not better.

#18. Parents never know what they're doing, and they're still pretty much kids themselves.

#17. You can get a job just by being in the right place at the right time.

#16. Getting in one little fight can be enough to drastically change your life

#15. It's always the dog's fault.

#14. Your parents will never notice your boyfriend climbing through your window via a huge, loud, metal ladder.