Cousin:*walks into my room with a second glove filled with water*
Cousin:the fingers are stronger on this one
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@thingsmycousinsaysanddoes
Cousin:*walks into my room with a second glove filled with water*
Cousin:the fingers are stronger on this one

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Cousin:*talking to my aunt* but you know that Carmichael just sounds really last namey! You never hear someone with the first name Carmichael itβs not last namey!
Blinking
Cousin: Sometimes when I blink, my eyes donβt fully shut, because like I can still see
Cousin:*holding a straw in her mouth* Rahhhhhh!
Me:....
Cousin: I'm a dog! Rahhhh!!!!!!!
Me: Can you tell me how many issues you have today?
Cousin: I don't know what you're talking about
Me:....
Cousin: BOOP!
Me:....
Cousin: Wine time!

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Immediately following cheese
Me: *dying laughing*
Cousin: I was about to say cheese-its but I know thats not the name so I just got stuck....hey whens the last time you updated the blog
Me: Right now
Cousin: Wait- That wasn't meant to be a reminder!
Cousin:*laying on the floor* I need to sit up, but I ate too many Cheese.....Cheese.....Cheese....GOLDFISH!
Babysitting cops
So my cousin is babysitting and I stayed home because I got sick. So she calls me and I hear screaming in the background, which is normal she's watching a toddler and a Secomd grader afterall. So she asks me to be the police for a second then puts the phone on speaker.
Cousin: Hello Police?
Me: Hello, what can I do for you?
Cousin: -kids name- Is trying to kill his little sister, can you send out a cop car?
Me: Of course citizen one is on the way.
After she hung up she texted me and told me the second grader was wrestling with his little sister and the sister demanded that she call the police. Then a minute later she called me again to assure the older kid that I was not actually a cop and he was not going to jail.
Hamburgers and the matrix
Soooo... that last chat was just the beginning. My cousin flattens the hamburger bun and tries to eat it in peace, my aunt then begins to voice her concern that her child is eating a plain hamburger bun. This leads to her (my cousin) trying to explain that hamburger buns are just bread. Keep in mind we were just watching The Matrix two seconds before this a movie that I had never seen before (we got about 30 minutes in before my aunt had my uncle pause the movie so she could understand what her 16 year old was doing with a hamburger bun) . So while my aunt and Cousin are yelling at each other my uncle is explaining what this movie is about because I was lost, and if that doesn't perfectly sum up what my family is like I don't know what does.
Cousin:*Gets a hamburger bun out of the cabinet*
Aunt: Why are you eatingna hanburger bun?!!?!
Cousin:it's just bread *Proceeds to flatten hamburger bun*

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My dog:.....
My dog: *Sniffs cookie packet*
Cousin: YOU CAN'T HAVE COOKIES!
Me: *Eating Cookies*
Me: *Drops a singular crumb*
Cousin: DROPPPED!!!
Cousin: Hey so you know how certain names sound really last namey?
Me:.....
Cousin: Like some last names just sound last namey, like Carmichael, just sounds really last namey!
Me: annd... I have my third post.
So literally five seconds ago she started dancing in front of my mirror softly saying Caw caw caw to herself. And as she saw me typing she just very quietly started saying No....no no no..no.
Cousin*Talking about the movie ice age*: hey you know that movie Ice the hedge? WAI--

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