(I just post these for me so that I feel like I can’t overeat bc I posted it idk)

5/2/19

breakfast:

two eggs- 140

toast- 80

vegan butter- 35

255 total

lunch:

½ cucumber- 25

tuna- 100

125 total

dinner:

brat- 190(no bun)

ketchup- 15

205 total

snack:

coffee- 60

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

michael dumontier & neil farber, “personal message”

me: *chugs 0 calorie drink*

stomach: thank god