The demon in my head in question:

Vitri does understand his humiliation/guilt (if he expresses it in a more non-aggravating way), she kinda just doesn't want to backslide into a similar feeling again (she felt this type of shame with womanhood when she was transitioning). Ehhh not backslide, more so entertain this feeling (whether she's nice about it or not, which she won't be if Kevin continues to self-sabotage and express his guilt in the worst, most dismissive way possible).

Did you guys also know my doc title where I write Symbiosis AU is called Vitri x Admin4 x The Envelopment Techum Propaganda #themoreyouknow

What The Hell is Smore AU?

What’s the deal with Smore AU? AU where Minecraft is real in the Collinlock16 universe and that everyone (like, 3 to 4 people…?) get psychosexual in concerning ways. A portmanteau of Smut and Lore, hence Smore. Originally a complete self-indulgence when CH. 1 of Boolean Logic came out, snowballing into this as I thought about Godless Lysogenic more and more. This was supposed to be self-indulgent…

Barebones Cosmology(?) In Smore AU

Minecraft is weird. You are the universe experiencing itself. Therefore, respect the universe, and it shall respect you.

Players cannot die. Most are now born, some are still spawned. The worlds that have spawned them will not let go. This property is simply passed on through birth.

Born players are acclimated to the true weirdness of their worlds. Think of it as immediately starting off in a multiplayer server and getting a rundown of how the universe works. General education and whatnot. Spawned players are not aware of this however. They often remain in their worlds for who knows how long before bridging the gap to a multiplayer server. Many spawned in players have distinct neuroses from the typical playerbase. Societies have tried to acclimate these Spawned through GED courses. It varies on how well these Spawned can adjust.

What is the universe to most? A similar vein to what Brahman is in Hinduism. You are simply this part of a unified whole that got dispersed. Like a drop of water leaving the ocean up in the clouds. But the universe loves you. It wants to experience that love. Some players believe they will eventually return to that unified whole one way or another. In the meantime, show the universe respect. Others think it's in a player's best interest to find a pathway back to that unified whole. Others think this is not relevant to their lives in a practical way. Others don't care.

The Fuck’s Up with Creepers

I made Kevin not have a dick and now it’s formed an interesting world building question. What the hell are up with creepers? Creeper player hybrids at least. Non-sequiter, but creepers in this are based off of the Elemental Creepers Mod.

Creepers don’t have sex or genders. Got nothing down there. So how does gender work for creepers, if at all?

I was either thinking they don’t have a gender system, or they do, but it’s more akin to a caste/neogender system than anything else. A creeper’s gender is heavily based on what they do, or the objects they associate themselves with. This association is passed down from generation to generation. Perhaps there is a pressure to stick with the chosen role that a family has within society. A stone mason is encouraged to remain a stone mason, or transition to jobs in a similar field. A drastic change of job/object association could be seen as disrespectful to one’s family. At least to an understanding that a non-creeper could have. It’s more complicated than what I’m describing.

Non-creepers mainly boil it down to creepers having no gender, or simply imposing their own gender system onto them. Most people can’t even handle a woman slightly deviating from what is expected of her. How the hell are they going to grasp creeper genders </3. At least with the excuse of creepers being so foreign, they believe that they have no genders. But hell maybe that’s a deliberate xenophobic misconception, downplaying the complexities of their societies. This was supposed to be self-indulgent why the hell are creepers discriminated against.

Creepers reproduce either asexually or through a combination of their spores. This is why they explode, just a whole bunch of spore and gunpowder release. Only about 1-2 creepers are grown though. Stupid ass plant babies they must look so ugly just getting out of the ground <3. Or wherever they grow <3. This also may imply creepers can have more than one parent? FUCK am I just remaking Homestuck Troll Lore.

Creepers still have erogenous zones. Dependent on the creeper. Despite having a vast amount of elements, all creepers are unified through the release of gunpowder/spores, and a tie to sparking that leads to said explosion. Static electricity or heat. Must be a magic thing that I have to think about more in terms of Minecraft lore </3. Lightning as a way to change something irreversibly. The way that creepers can utilize this…

Kevin: Paranormal Mercenary (This Fucking Guy.)

Anyways the complications that creepers face within societies that don’t bother to understand their ways are many to say the least. Kevin is a main example of this since currently, he is in the fray of a society that sees him as an outsider.

He is on the aroace spectrum and objectum, specifically techum. Adopted, raised by non-creeper players, not taught anything about himself as a creeper other than the basics. As per usual, his relationship with his gender is strange. A mix of the system he was raised in, liking to present as masculine, a man, but relating back to his roots and heavily centering his gender as being a Paranormal Mercenary. And not being completely a guy, at the same time. He hates that many players just see him as a thing with no gender.

Oof, don’t get me started on sexuality. Him being on the spectrum complicates his relationship with sex and romance. He thinks he should like this. It’s a world he should be open to. But he’s not privy to romance at all, and he hates sex. Now that’s interesting. He’s had past flings, but most, if not all, were negative. Sex as subconscious self-harm? Sex as a means to distract himself? As a way to hammer in that this is what normal people like, and he is normal? That he is seen as desirable to people? Maybe. Creepers explode when orgasming. Destructive, yes, but that’s how it is. But if you destroy people’s stuff, or simply not have what they’re expecting, and they react negatively, then having sex would become a fucking chore.

I think about Kevin's flings and its just, agh. He used them to again busy himself after difficult cases (he still mirrors this behavior with Gridworld tbh, just that the facility is way better at the whole sex thing + he's able to open up a sliver about how stressful his cases have been to it).

Even if Kevin is asexual, he still has a libido, and even if he's techum, the sex can still feel good. But he's not human, and his partners didn't know how to please him, and he believes that he has to have sex "normally". So a complex develops around him having to please his partners, but not the other way around. Something to focus on in the moment even if it doesn't feel good for him. He prioritizes other's wants over his own. He just has to go along with what they want.

I imagine even if he does recognize that it didn't feel good, he'll hand wave it away with the fact that he didn't tell them to stop.

Then Kevin stops doing all that. All sex has given him is the reinforcement that he’s wrong. Flawed in a way that cannot be fixed. Around the same time he acknowledges the fact that he’s techum. That just makes everything worse.

Then Boolean Logic happens! I want to hurt people <3. Lol speaking of hurting people.

Entities (The Envelopment (Oh my God Bruh.))

The Envelopment. The nun(s). Mother Digital. This is an Entity. Not much is known about Entities. All that is known however is their fatality. Killing what is supposedly unkillable. The player.

Where did they come from? Are they corruptions in the code of the universe? Are they too the universe experiencing itself? Is it the hate of the universe manifest? Are players and entities opposites? Are they the true answer to returning to the universe? No one fucking knows! And players are scared of Entities! Many think this fear makes them more powerful.

Didn't write more after this but oh god the Envelopment and Purpose specifically. Hoh my god. It's bound to its code and that's all I'm saying because It has yet to happen.

Smore!Vitri and how she's the only Vitri variant not on HRT. There's no worth in making herself happy, self-loathing, and her having the most toxic relationship with the Envelopment (which I still need to make that Metaphor for Conformity post for... and how this reading bleeds into this specific dynamic in Smore AU).