DANGER

2015.10.21 | Marty and Doc arrive at Jimmy Kimmel Live

My wife and I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. So I went on this big chain adult toy website. I ordered what I thought was a small introductory butt plug which came with a complimentary free gift: G-spot tickler vibro or a misc. porno. My gal isn’t into watching porn, so naturally I picked the tickler.

The day we got it, we couldn’t wait to try out the “toys”. The buttplug scared her and got an immediate shut down due to the girth. So we tried the vibrator. The thing was made from the cheapest fucking plastic. It was like they melted one of those plastic easter egg cases you get at a quarter machine and shoved in a battery operated motor. You’d think the plastic and the no name AAA batteries with chinese logos all over them would be red flags. NOPE! I fire that baby up and pop it in my gal. She liked it at first until she was like “it’s getting hot!” I took that as a compliment with my mad skills piloting. She then jumps up and yells “IT’S FUCKING BURNING!” And jumps/chun-li kicks me off the bed.

I reach down and grab the thing and sure enough, the fucking thing felt like it was about to melt. You could see a trace of smoke fluttering from the seams of the vibrator. I panic and scramble to the bathroom and toss diablo’s cheap g spot tickler into the toilet. It continued to buzz for a little bit until it fully submerged with a sizzle.