The Wolf Fears Her

imagine if you took your new boyfriend to meet your dad and your dad greeted him by name but it wasn't his name it was a different name and your dad said your boyfriend was a spy who stole 300 millions of dollars from him and ruined the family arms dealing business and got your dad killed (except he's not dead but shhhhh that is a secret) and you ask your boyfriend with the fake name if this is true and he just looks at you angstily with wet eyes and you know your dad is telling the truth about this and all those romantic arms deals you had planned for the future will never come to pass and you're probably going to have to do some homoerotic murder thing with your now ex boyfriend who has lied to you since day one with his stupid wet eyes and the 280 million dollar-pounds he didn't tell you about because you're only worth 20 million dollaries to him and he's probably got *counts* 14 other guys on the side and each of them know him by a different name damn this bastard how dare he you'd better get him a tissue or something his eyes are wetter than the pacific he's probably got allergies or whatever in fact you should maybe start licking the tears off his face yeah that'd be hot you should do that