On the topic of the Destiel Kisscam
Listen, I have an idea, go wild folks....
Inspired by this post from @werepires
Dean wakes up to a cold bed, a hangover, and phone that wont shut up.
He blindly gropes around for the offending device, knocking the Vonnegut book he’d found in the dollar bin off his nightstand in the process, his fingers finally closing around the durable case Cas insisted he buy after shattering his third phone in just as many months.
It’s a good thing Charlie found a way to get them essentially limitless money, he can’t buy cheap burners anymore, not when he’s trying (in vain) to catch up to Cas’ score in Candy Crush.
He swipes at the screen with his thumb, still keeping his head stubbornly buried in his pillow, not particularly caring if he accepts or denies the call.
Of course, the moment the ringing stops and he thinks he’s in the clear, someone’s voice is screaming at him through the small speakers and he wishes he’d just chucked the whole thing out the window instead.
“Hello?” Finally deciding to bite the bullet, Dean opens his eyes and is immediately assaulted with a ray of sun peeking through the curtain and shining right onto his face.
“-EAN WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?”
He blinks blearily at the caller ID.
‘Claire-bear’ is the name that he reads, it’s right under a picture of Claire and Cas, where Cas, looking absolutely angelic for someone who’s now 100% human, is showing the young woman one of his flowers while her face is scrunched up in the beginnings of a sneeze.
Damn he loves this photo.
“Morning,” Dean’s head is pounding too hard for him to scrounge up a nickname for her. He pats the bed next to him, expecting his uncoordinated limb to whack into a shoulder or face, “Cas, Claire’s-”
His hand hits the mattress.
Dean shoots up in bed, realizing Cas is no where to be fucking seen, and tips his head back with a groan.
Great, he gets to deal with an angry Claire all alone.
“Dean, are you listening to me!?”
“Nope,” He pops the ‘p’ at the end of his word, “Why are you calling me so early?”
There’s a scoff and a pause, she’s probably rolling her eyes at him (the little shit), “It’s 2pm.”
“No way,” Now it’s his turn to scoff, glancing toward the scooby-doo themed alarm clock Sam bought him last christmas as a gag (jokes on him, this thing fucking rocks) and realizing, with shock, that it is 2pm, “Well how about that… Why are you calling me?”
“I’m calling because the fucking FBI rang me up this morning-”
That has Dean out of bed and pulling on his robe, ready to run out the door in his pajamas, “What did you do!?”
“I didn’t do anything!” He steps over his clothes from last night, the ones he didn’t bother putting in the hamper because he was a little buzzed and wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed, “Seriously, you want an alibi? Because Cas and I went out last night, so anything you think I did-”
“I know you went out last night! You were at that fucking mullet rock concert.”
“You better not be insulting AC/DC,” All other concerns are pushed to the side in defense of his music taste, “I know you have piss poor music taste, but Cas and I worked hard for those tickets, no stolen money or anything, and we had an awesome time, so you can fuck off.”
“Do you even remember what happened?”
Cas’ pajamas are discarded on their bathroom floor, he’s probably already dressed and out in the garden, “Uh… We drove like 2 hours to the concert, rocked out, I got wasted, Cas drove us back because the fucker somehow still can’t get drunk-”
“Anything else you wanna’ say about the concert?”
“You’re talking like Sam right now.”
“The kiss cam, Dean! You and Cas wound up on the freaking jumbotron!”
Huh, oh yeah, he vaguely remembers seeing him and Cas up on a screen, they’d both waved, Dean had laid one right on Cas’ perfect lips, and by the time they broke apart the cameras were already pointed at some other couple in the crowd.
“Claire, how did you find out about that?”
“Because it’s all the internet can talk about right now!” Then she adds on, “And the FBI!”
“What…?” He opens up his bedroom door and begins to plod down the stairs, “The FBI called you this morning because I kissed Cas last night? Man, they’re a little late to the game.”
Claire at least waits for him to finish his snarky comment before she drops the bomb on him, “I got a call because my father, Jimmy Novak, who has been missing for years, was spotted being groped by Dean Winchester, the wanted murderer, by thousands of people last night. There’s video footage of it and, lemme’ tell ya’, even though I know my dad’s long gone, it’s still gross to have to see you and Cas going at it like that.”
Cas isn’t in the kitchen when he runs in to tell him about the news, but Jack is, plopped down at the table, squinting at his laptop screen while he munches on a bag of doritos, looking every bit the community college student he is and not the all-seeing cosmic god that he was for a bit.
He taps his pseudo-son on the shoulder and mouths out ‘where’s Cas?’ as he tries to stay equally focused on Claire's rundown of the FBI call.
Jack barely looks up at Dean when he quietly responds, “He went to the store for fertilizer.”
Okay, that’s okay, he just went into town and-
“Not you, Claire, I’m talking to Jack- hang on one second-” Despite it apparently being 2pm Dean feels like it’s far too early to be dealing with something this big, “Jack, when did Cas leave?”
“2 hours and 47 minutes ago,” Unlike Cas, Jack’s still fully graced up, and thus can do things like tell Dean exactly how long his husbands been missing while simultaneously giving Dean a small heart attack.
“Son of a bitch,” He needs coffee- no, he wants coffee- he needs Cas, “Claire, hey I’m back, I gotta’ go, call me if you hear anything else, and send me those videos you saw.”
“Good luck old man, don’t let Cas get arrested.”
“You’re not wearing my dads face.”
Claire hangs up before Dean can even pull the phone away from his ear and, for a moment, everything’s silent, it’s just him and Jack in the kitchen, and he can pretend that Cas is going to walk through the door any minute and everything will be fan-fucking-tastic-
“Is this about that viral video of you and Cas?”
Will there be a pt.2 to this? Probably, Idk anymore, we're all just dust in the wind-
Catch y'all on the flip side!
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