A General Guide to Reading

They're called 'terms of endearment' for a reason.

"This looks delicious," Eames fucking lies, because the only accurate statement would be This looks like intestines, and he would like Arthur to continue to shagging him.

The key to being Eames's lover, Arthur knows, is not to love him.

It's possible Arthur's missed a clue or two over the last several years.

"French toast, pancakes, steak and eggs -- I could make you anything in the world, pet, but no. Egg-white omelette, morning after morning. It shows a distinct lack of imagination."

College AU in which Arthur is a cranky senior and Eames is a professor of Dream Psychology.

Twenty years after The Great Purge and the continuing effects of a High Priestess’s curse, Albion is a nation on the brink of collapse. Not even High Chancellor Uther Pendragon’s Compatibility Regime can curb the plummeting population. To add to his troubles, his wayward son, Arthur, makes no disguise of his unwillingness to wed. With good reason. Arthur is secretly leading the Movement, a covert organisation plotting to overthrow the government and return magic to Albion. Not to mention, it’s been foreseen that Arthur’s future, his destiny, is an indomitable union with a warlock—not marriage to the farm-boy matched to him by Uther’s Compatibility Machines.

Five times Geno fell in and out of love, plus one time he stayed in love.

Or, the one where Geno dates a lot of people before realising the love of his life has been in front of him all along.

Iron Chef AU. In which there are cooking competitions, ruminations on the length of Eames' penis, professional jealousy, and second chances.

Arthur is young, gorgeous, talented, and captain of one of the best football teams in England; his life should be perfect. But he can't keep a girlfriend for more than a few months, and it's not just because he isn't ready to settle down. When his most recent girlfriend dumps him, he has a rough night at the pub and has to be dragged home by his neighbour, Merlin. Merlin is an archivist, a Ph.D student, and he hates football almost as much as he hates Arthur. They both have their own reasons for not wanting to spend time with each other, but after that disastrous night, remaining silent neighbors doesn't seem like much of an option anymore. Modern AU.

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

Arthur is a recruiter for a branch of the Special Forces and goes to give a talk at Ealdor High School. Merlin is in the audience

Captain Arthur Pendragon has put together the best team of specialists that the SAS has ever seen, but when his superiors assign Lieutenant Merlin Emrys as his communications officer, Arthur does everything to make him feel unwelcome. Arthur's job is to protect and guide his team through dangerous missions, and he worries that he can't do that when the newest member has a mysterious background and acts suspicious when he thinks no one is looking.

As their assignments become more dangerous, Merlin can't help but to use his magic to keep his team -- even his prat of a Captain -- safe from threats they couldn't possibly understand. But when they are sent on a undercover operation against a group of zealots intent on a magical apocalypse, Merlin needs to confront his fear of discovery and derision, and to finally trust his team with his secret.

Arthur and Merlin rely on each other for more than the sake of their mission. The entire world is at stake. When they learn -- from dragons, no less -- that they are prophesied to restore the balance of magic to the world, they fight on regardless of the outcome, because duty, honour and loyalty is a far stronger driving force than destiny.

He saw the horn poking out from the pony's head, golden and straight and somehow delicate-looking despite the empty tuna can hanging off of it. The unicorn horn. "The fuck," Sidney said out loud, his eye skipping from the horn over the greyish-white body to the graceful gold-toned hooves.

With all his knowledge of Sidney Crosby, Geno should've known that one day it would culminate to this.

At nine years old, when his mother started talking about arranging Sid’s marriage, he hadn’t thought too much about it. She would find him someone in one of the Maritime Provinces, maybe Quebec. If really pressed, Sid might have imagined going to one of the Prairie Provinces, or maybe somewhere in the United Kingdoms of America. He never thought about being far away his family, because it literally never occurred to him that it might be something that could happen.