Shin-Chan 🐸

2

“Alas,” Nie Huaisang said, lying on the floor. “I was playing around with arrays and seem to have activated one that manipulates the weight of gravity. I am utterly unable to move.”

Nie Mingjue looked down at him.

“Gravity array,” he said flatly.

“That’s right,” Nie Huaisang said. “Very tragic. Especially since it happened right before saber training, no less, and I’d been so looking forward to going through the same boring old routines all over again today. But don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be able to escape it in a shichen or two – maybe around dinner?”

“Nice try,” Nie Mingjue said. “But instead of giving up so quickly, why don’t I lend you a hand?”

Nie Huaisang did not appreciate being slung over his brother’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

3

“Can’t do it,” Nie Huaisang said, and cast around for the first excuse he could think of. “I’m – washing my hair.”

He winced.

That was a bad one, even for him.

“How very tragic,” Nie Mingjue said. “Don’t worry, little brother. I have a bucket.”

Bucket? Wait.

“No, don’t! I’m in my nice clothes, don’t you dare throw that bucket of ice water on me-EEEEE!”

4

“What’s the reason this time?” Nie Mingjue drawled.

“I’m really busy this time, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said as earnestly as he could. “For real!”

“I’m listening.”

“I have a date!”

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue sighed. “Your right hand doesn’t count.”

…Nie Huaisang thinks he would have preferred going to saber practice over that burn.

5

“I’ve decided to take a vow of non-violence,” Nie Huaisang said, clinging to the door as his brother tried to tug him towards the training field.

“Congratulations on your decision,” Nie Mingjue said. “Move.”

“It’s effective immediately,” Nie Huaisang said. “And it’s very strict – no engaging in the arts of war and violence in any way. Saber training is right out.”

“Well, if that’s what you really want, Huaisang, I’m not going to stop you.”

Nie Huaisang paused and even released the door so he could turn to stare at his brother. “…really?”

“Really,” Nie Mingjue said, his expression absolutely flat. “So tell me, when are you planning on shaving your head? And giving up meat, of course – don’t worry, I’ll tell the cooks to prepare what they usually do for our guests from GusuLan -”

“On second though, saber training is fine,” Nie Huaisang said hastily. “I’m on my way right now, see how much I’m on my way?”

6

“I can’t go train my saber today,” Nie Huaisang said. “I don’t know where it is.”

“You already tried that one,” Nie Mingjue said. “Aituan is right there.”

“Not Aituan.”

Nie Mingjue paused. 

“…when you said you don’t know where ‘it’ is,” he said slowly, “what exactly is ‘it’?”

“The training field.”

“The – training field.”

“Yep.”

“The one in our front yard that you’ve seen out your window since you were four.”

“Exactly.”

“You don’t know where it is.”

“Lost my sense of direction,” Nie Huaisang said. “I don’t even know where we are. I think it’s called the Unclean Realm – have you heard of it?”

Nie Mingjue’s lips were twitching.

“It’s supposed to be in this place they call ‘Qinghe’ –”

Nie Mingue finally succumbed with a bark of laughter, and Nie Huaisang grinned triumphantly.

“Fine,” his brother said, shaking his head. “Fine. Per the terms of our agreement, I laughed, so you’re excused from training today. But I’m warning you, this won’t work again tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Nie Huaisang said. “I’ll be going, then.”

“Where to?” Nie Mingjue asked, and now it was his turn to grin. “It couldn’t possibly be to go back to your room or to your menagerie – after all, you did lose your sense of direction.”

“…crap,” Nie Huaisang said. The terms of the agreement were that his ability to escape saber training relied on him keeping up the excuse – if he revoked it now, the excusal would also be revoked. “I don’t suppose da-age would be kind enough to act as a guide..?”

Nie Mingjue stood up. “Anything for my didi, of course,” he said. “In fact, I’ll give you the whole tour of the place – and we can start with the training grounds.”