Purveyor of the unfound, seeker of the lost.

We are currently playing catch-up with the cruel mistress that is the speed of the internet, publishing catalogued finds on a semi-daily basis. Newly unfound items will follow as they are unfound.

This gold and bronze chain was used by the evil gypsy witch to lure naïve girls into her clutches and imprison them, where she would be able to use their hair in her potions. That was until the valiant prince only five years old but braver than most saw through the wicked witches evil and tore the chain from her grip, releasing all those she had trapped before and locking her into her own steel cage, where the only potion she could make would be that of using herself.

A goddess of the tiny world of borrowers. The little tiny tribal borrowers live wherever you expect to see. They prayed to their goddess, who appeared from the sky as if she were life itself, donating offerings of mighty spiders and gallant warriors in the hope that she will take kindly and bestow upon them a bounty of their Smarties crops that will last them through the cold weekend day, for she holds the power of life and death and sanctity from the rain. To keep the tiny tribal borrowers safe from the falling sky, and give them shelter under the taste of the rainbow.

The greatest find of all a £1million pound note, spent by the owner of Just enterprises, whilst out doing his weekly shop, unfortunately, the shop didn’t carry enough change to award to philanthropist, so instead he proceeded to buying the whole shop and bestowing it to his daughter the queen of all shopaholics.

The story of this towel starts in Indonesia where it was actually used as a great rug in the palace of pygmies; they offered it to their wind god who blew it away. After that it belonged to a shoe shine boy in India where he used to scrub at shoes, he left it behind when it got stuck to someone’s foot only to travel to Libya where it was used as a sheet to cover up from the sun to get stuck in the sand and shipped to England to live on a beach as an old rotting towel.

A pen provides the answer for many a question. It has written verses and poems, adjectives and verbs, signed peace agreements and started wars, drawn a masterpiece and scribbled it out, twirled in some hair and chewed at the end, thrown as a dart and used to spit wads, written the number, signed the last check, sealed with a kiss and dotted the stop. A letter, a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a page, a chapter, a novel, an anthology. This is a humble pen used by one and all

To the average human this is nothing more than a sock, to creature in the animal world; however, this is a tool of a thousand uses. A swan would use it as a balaclava, for a cat it is a tail warmer. Fish can use it as a sleeping bag and caterpillars could use it as a tent, a seal should use it as a glove and a frog as a flag, but to us, it is merely a sock.

A hairband, nothing more, nothing less, not a device for sexual arousal, or a secret weapon, just a simple hairband, used for holding ones hair. (The gnomes have got to me please call help quick)

This is a hat, used by many to fight the rays of the sun and keep these little gremlins called ray from the top of the head. This allows the wearer to constantly look cool and disguises them from the ever present lenses of the paparazzi trying to catch a glimpse of the wearers in their battle against the Rays.

To call this a spoon would be a mistake, for in actual fact it is a weapon used for devious intent, it is part of a catapult used by bugs in the great bug war of ’08. It was a tool used for a valiant aim in the battle of the ants versus the slugs, destroyed at the last so that never again could war be brought to the peaceful lands of the high-street pavement.

A little piece of knowledge. This little hairband is not so commonly known to actually be a weapon of mass destruction. Used by the little gnomes to fire at our faithful spies hidden under their hats, ready to be used at the sight of anyone looking even remotely like they may not care for the little buggers.

This wooden knife had a short but eventful life first as a piece of cutlery, second as a surgical instrument. It had been travelling on a plane, minding its own business just doing its job, when the person using him started to choke and as all attempt to clear the patients windpipe failed a surgeon surrendered to the last resort, performing an emergency tracheotomy finally letting the person breathe. The knife was then accidentally lost down the sink as it was being cleaned and dropped out over the North Atlantic, since then it has been used by many an ant as a boat before finally washing up on the firm land again.

Dummy, soother, pacifier, binky, piece, comforter, teether, our little rubber sucker had been called all of these, and to be honest it didn’t really care which word it was. All it knew was that it was chewed on day and night by little people, who always wanted to bite just that bit harder, squeezing more and more life out of our little friend, until the child got to big and in the burst of a foul tantrum spat the dummy out, to the side of the path, to let it live the rest of its days as peaceful as could be.

This puppy was as mean as they come, constantly getting into scraps and making a nuisance of himself, his owners had absolutely no idea what to do with him. They took him for walks on a very short leash and even tried dog training. None of which ever worked. That was until they set him free, something the puppy had longed for all his life, now he was at liberty to do as he pleased, come and go whenever he wanted and eat all he chose. He still goes back and visits his past owners occasionally but now he lives as he was meant to be.

This tennis ball had actually been used in one of the grand slam tennis tournaments and to celebrate winning his last Tim Henman ceremoniously hit the ball as hard as he could into the sea. This was after the Australian open. After reaching speeds of over 120 miles per hour the tennis ball was glad of the rest bobbing up and down in the sea. Since that day the ball has travelled far and wide, swallowed by seals and washed into storms until it finally came to rest on a pebbly beach on the great British south coast.

What appears to be a small child’s booty is actually a gnome spy hat of the ninth degree, used in aiding all renegade gnomes in the concealment of their tiny but deadly, gardening tools. Many a great spy has been struck down by these menaces that blend in so subtly whilst wearing their hats. The fewer the blighters wearing these hats the better, any small person seen wearing these adornments should be cooed over at once, for that is the easiest weapon against the deadly gnome enemy, to make them feel cute and adorable is enough to make them scream, running for the hills.

“A glove by any other name wouldn’t be any less famous.” Famous words said by the pop star Jack Michaelson who only ever wears one glove, this has meant a catastrophe within the glove community as hundreds of copycat Michealson glove wearers throw away their odd glove wanting to mimic his look and so discarding their other glove as soon as they see fit. This is one such glove.