Cigarlight (Mr Boss x Father) headcanons
cw mentions of smoking, drinking, addiction and these 2 being general scumbags
Boss and his wife split up when Fanny was about 7 but they still live together and are on pretty good terms. <- most of that fact is because they have some sentiment towards eachother for being the parent of their children.
Boss, Mrs Fulbright and Father are all friends – think William, Mrs Afton and Henry from FNAF type relationship. They invite Father over for dinner where they do NOT behave if the wine comes out. Fanny finds herself on the receiving end of way too many dad jokes.
^ that's also why Fanny's familiar with Father – he comes over like every other Tuesday to get way too friendly w her parents. she isn't that scared of him since she knows he's a little HOMEWRECKER who wants her DAD and maybe even her MOM. it's just kinda awkward at the dinner table though cuz yknow.. mortal enemies. but whatevs.
Father tries to win Boss's favor by letting him do shit that she doesn't. Boss wants to smoke? He's lighting it. Boss wants a beer? He's getting a six pack. Boss wants to ignore traffic laws? He's gonna be a lil bitch about it but he'll let him🤷🏽
They're complete opposites of eachother in physical stature. Father is tall and slim with sharp angles and hard lines covering his body – he's not exactly skinny but he'd probably faceplant in the wind. Mr Boss is like a powerlifter except he never gets off his ass to actually lift anything. He could, but he won't. He's short and has hands that look like gauntlets, thick but experienced in handling things carefully when required. For the hair he lacks on his head he makes up with his body, cuz that man is hairy (like, Father is too bcuz they're grown men but Mr Boss looks like he's preparing for winter). He molts everywhere and it's annoying.
TLDR: Father is kiki, Boss is bouba.
Overexpressive x underexpressive. Father makes some comical faces and he doesn't even realize it, it's pretty funny. You KNOW he's got them wrinkles with how much scowling he's doing. Mr Boss, though? He's looksmaxxing. He constantly looks tired and mildly uninterested but too unbothered to care. He does have a bombastic eyebrow raise though (cuz his brows and stache look like three ferrets taped onto his face). The only time he's guaranteed to make a face though is when shivers the TOILENATOR's around..
Father constantly gets angry at Mr Boss and people think they barely tolerate eachother as coworkers but they barely tolerate eachother (which they do) but they WILLINGLY interact. Mr Boss will yell back at them and because they're both too stubborn to back down they just make it EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. They got kicked out of so many public places that they made the whole "Villain's supermarket" nd shit😭😭 making their own stores cuz they're banned from everywhere else is CRAYZEE.
They're insufferable to be around but they're also funny as hell cuz they roast eachother with pinpoint accuracy. If you were to steal their insults and use them later against them they'd be so pissed (that's good, we need to make them SUFFER). They're probably using alot of outdated and likely offensive terms though so be careful what you repeat..
They're petty as shit. Constantly stepping on eachothers toes as they walk by and slamming doors in their face. NO they do not care if this inconveniences anyone else because that's a bonus to them.
Mr Boss is admittedly more slick than Father and manages to one-up him alot cuz Father tends to get a bit.. stuck in lalaland😭 Idk, he's just less self-aware than Boss. Whenever they're out together at a villain event, Mr Boss will order heaps of food then dip and leave Father with the tab.
Father is always trying to make Boss worse – whether it be his addictions (smoking) or trying to turn him against his own kids, Father's manipulating him. If Mr Boss were to try stop Father from doing something against the KND in fear of it affecting his daughter, Father would just brush him off and say that she'll likely grow up to hate him anyway. Mr Boss is kinda fueled on selfish love so he'll agree and stand down. <- what i mean by that is mr boss expects his kids to "repay" him in some way for his attention, unlike parents such as monty uno who'd love and support their kid(s) even if they pushed him away. if fanny were to be (rightfully) angry with her dad because of where his loyalties lie, he'd probably turn on her too. love is very conditional to him.
They're horrible for eachother, mostly because Father is feeding into Boss's worst traits and Boss is enabling him. They're doomed (and they're honestly dooming everyone around them too like. y'all can fuck eachother up as much as you like but stop getting the whole house mad smh)
