aylla

May you feel my absence—

the absence of who I was,

of my presence,

of my difficult nature.

May karma catch up with you,

the way it caught up with me

when I chose to forgive,

the way it caught up with me

when I reached out one more time.

May you realize

how foolish what you did truly was.

May you lose yourself

inside the lie you call a life,

surrounded by the people

you now share your happiest moments with,

the very same people

who once fueled your deepest anger.

May you come to understand

what it means to have someone by your side,

someone who loved you deeply

and who now carries nothing

but a growing disappointment

for everything we once were.

May you never forget me,

not even for a second:

the things I told you,

the things you told me,

the things we told each other.

May my voice

and my laughter

become whispers in your mornings.

May my happiness

wear away

at the deepest corners of your memory.

I hate writing these words,

but your time will come,

and when it does,

you won't forget me.

I know I could have loved you,

but you would never have let me.

My friend,

you remind me, every single day,

of the lie

and of the strange simplicity

"Do the things that you think might be just outside of your reach, but they intrigue you and they call your name." - Astronaut Christina Koch. 🌌