riv

i’m so full of love, i can’t keep it all for myself

i fully believe men are obsessed with power because they know we don’t actually need them.

i wish i could play my games but the grind don’t stop

sometimes, i have so much hope, i feel like an overflowing pot with a lid on it (with lots & lots of bubbles) 🫪

i love the intention in keeping up with old friends; i love the effort. i love getting replies to my story and note. i love when they start snapping me again. or when they remember something i love or said. i love being thought of. it’s so beautiful to see that im not the only person who feels deeply. i love seeing love in other people.

so tired of these loser bitches

i wanna be famousssssuh

i heard on somewhere that self preservation is the first law of survival. when wrong is done onto you, and you do not return the wrong doing, the wrong doing will eventually become your own as well. and honestly, it encourages me to stand up for myself more often. so in case you needed a reminder, go wreak havoc and stop letting them play with you!!!

i’m so tired from today already

instead of forcing myself to get out of bed today, i’m gonna force myself to stay in bed longer. i’m not on anybody’s time, today is a resting day. i don’t need to rationalize resting to anyone or myself. i force myself to do things but not to rest. so today, we rest!

what to do when you feel out of place everywhere, with everyone?

i’m honestly afraid of death. i’m so afraid to die. because i’m so used to being this person and living this life and seeing things from these eyes. i don’t know anything else, i’m scared to know anything else. where will my girlfriend be in my next life? will she find me? what about my mommy? will my mommy be my mommy again? what if i experience something horrible? i’m scared. there’s so much uncertainty in death. it makes me anxious. every so often i go down the “i’m afraid of death” rabbit hole in my head. and i am. i know that energy isn’t created or destroyed, so id just come back as something or someone else. but who’s to guarantee that, that experience won’t hurt? but i guess theres really no guarantee. there’s nothing i can do about it because i am going to die, whether i like it or not. so i might as well get used to the idea. but my life is just now getting good, so i’m afraid to die because i’ve lived most of my life unpleasantly. i think, maybe after i get to live a little more, i’ll become more comfortable with the idea of death. but it honestly, terrifies me