The Suspicious Orange

the people putting on the events had training and qualifications in sexual health & safety too and they even organized many of the most popular public kink events & sex parties in the area.

and now when i talk about this space and BDSM being crucial to my recovery as a rape survivor, people will become shocked and appalled because (to repeat myself from a previous post) our society frames sexual violence as something perpetrated by strangers in the night and something we heal from in solitude—often assisted by a sole, tender sexual & romantic partner.

we're supposed to meet the love of our life and trust our healing solely in their hands.

and that works for some people and that's good!

but for me personally, expecting that of me feels like telling someone I survived a drowning accident and I really want to find the courage to swim again, and people give me two options:

Use apps and go to bars looking for someone random to take me swimming again. They can tell me their credentials as a swimming instructor, but I have no real way to check those qualifications and I can only hope they don't intentionally or even unintentionally harm me in the water. If they do harm me, all I can do is move on and start searching for a new random person to try again.

Go to Swim Camp at the YMCA to be reintroduced to swimming by well-known instructors with proven skills and lifeguarding certifications. As I gain confidence and independence, I can count on them to continually answer my questions and provide further training. I will be surrounded by other swimmers—both new and experienced—to help me along the way, and if someone is engaging in risky behavior, I can report it to the instructors.