PAOLO SIDDAYAO

I don’t want a lukewarm love. I want it to burn my lips and engulf my soul.

You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly.

I love you to the best of my abilities. Expect me to do every single thing just to keep you for the longest time possible. You will see me clingy and needy and protective and jealous. I can be your mom, your sister, your best friend, your colleague. I can be anything for you - a joker when you’re down; a cheerleader when you need encouragement; a fangirl when you need someone who will support and believe in you all the way; a critic when you want to know how others would think about your most recent idea; a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when you think you have no one else in the world. I am going to stay - if that’s the best thing for you. I will fight for you even if it is a losing battle. You will see me scared of not being able to find you in a crowded place; you will see me wanting and craving for your attention when I haven’t seen you for days. You will see me terrified of waking up and not finding you on the other side of the bed. Expect me to be always on guard for every pretty girl that looks your way or for every girl who calls you late at night or for every girl who asks you out for a coffee break. Expect me to not tolerate your mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t give you second chances. I can give you second, third, fourth and countless more chances and opportunities to make up for what you have done, as long as it’s not because of the same old reason. I am still going to take you back mistake after mistake, as long as you have proven that you have indeed learned your lesson. But I am not as selfish as what I really want to be. I will still let you go out with your friends, let you party and drink with them because regardless of your mistakes, I can still trust you. I’d still trust you because I love you and I want our relationship to last for a lifetime, or indefinitely.   However, inasmuch as I want to keep you, I also know when to let you go. I love you enough to let you live life the way you want or make decisions and choices your way. I love you enough to wish for your happiness in some faraway future, even if it doesn’t include me. I can hide all the pain behind a beautiful smile while saying my goodbye to you. I can let you go and walk away and pretend that I am happy with my decision as long as you will be alright and become an even more awesome person. I can urge you to find your happiness in another girl, to fall in love with her smiles just like how you fell in love with mine, to hold her hand and never let her go no matter how tough the road to forever would get. I can let you go when it’s time to do so. You might not be able to comprehend how I make my choices and my decisions but you ought to understand that THIS IS HOW I LOVE YOU.

I love you to the best of my abilities. Expect me to do every single thing just to keep you for the longest time possible. You will see me clingy and needy and protective and jealous. I can be your mom, your sister, your best friend, your colleague. I can be anything for you - a joker when you’re down; a cheerleader when you need encouragement; a fangirl when you need someone who will support and believe in you all the way; a critic when you want to know how others would think about your most recent idea; a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when you think you have no one else in the world. I am going to stay - if that’s the best thing for you. I will fight for you even if it is a losing battle. You will see me scared of not being able to find you in a crowded place; you will see me wanting and craving for your attention when I haven’t seen you for days. You will see me terrified of waking up and not finding you on the other side of the bed. Expect me to be always on guard for every pretty girl that looks your way or for every girl who calls you late at night or for every girl who asks you out for a coffee break. Expect me to not tolerate your mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t give you second chances. I can give you second, third, fourth and countless more chances and opportunities to make up for what you have done, as long as it’s not because of the same old reason. I am still going to take you back mistake after mistake, as long as you have proven that you have indeed learned your lesson. But I am not as selfish as what I really want to be. I will still let you go out with your friends, let you party and drink with them because regardless of your mistakes, I can still trust you. I’d still trust you because I love you and I want our relationship to last for a lifetime, or indefinitely.   However, inasmuch as I want to keep you, I also know when to let you go. I love you enough to let you live life the way you want or make decisions and choices your way. I love you enough to wish for your happiness in some faraway future, even if it doesn’t include me. I can hide all the pain behind a beautiful smile while saying my goodbye to you. I can let you go and walk away and pretend that I am happy with my decision as long as you will be alright and become an even more awesome person. I can urge you to find your happiness in another girl, to fall in love with her smiles just like how you fell in love with mine, to hold her hand and never let her go no matter how tough the road to forever would get. I can let you go when it’s time to do so. You might not be able to comprehend how I make my choices and my decisions but you ought to understand that THIS IS HOW I LOVE YOU.

But please don’t leave someone wondering what they have done wrong.” he said. “Don’t just walk away and make them feel that they will never be enough. As if they were just some pieces of paper fallen out of your notebook. As if they were just a flower you took out of your vase.” he looked at her. With sadness in his eyes—with pain showing in the way he speaks. Then he continued, “Please. If you can avoid it, just please don’t hurt people that way.

“Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship.”