the sunshine boy

The Jonah being the first to wake up is like how he’s usually first to initiate anything within their dynamic like walking ahead, wanting to die etc. Him gingerly kicking the blanket off of Andrew to wake him up can maybe be a parallel to when Jonah was trying to

Andrew peaking after Jonah trying to wake him up shows how he’s testing the waters similarly to how he did went ahead of Jonah in the last chapter briefly when walking. He opens by stating Jonah kicks in his sleep followed by Jonah’s denial and whack of Andrew’s bare shoulder. Andrew having no shirt on and the warmth of his skin can show the trust and vulnerability he could show around Jonah by not caring if he has his shirt off around him.

Jonah wants Andrew to be awake despite Andrew’s nodding off, Jonah holding and shaking Andrew’s arm can reflect that of a needy child wanting their parent to wake up so they can have something. Andre being described like a bear when grumbling could reflect “don’t poke the bear” reflecting that when Andrew’s provoked it would emit a reaction from him, quite strongly. Jonah rolling his eyes could show he’s used to Andrew’s grumpy morning antics followed by “you couldn’t have slept that good.”. From the description in the beginning, we see how all the colour descriptions we saw that centred around Andrew’s slumber shows his sleep was good and in fact peaceful on his troubled mind. Andrew’s disorientated questioning of what the time was shows that he’s been out of it for hours and still in the process of waking up.

Jonah, opposite to Andrew who swatted Jonahs leg showing he wants to be taken by the slumber once more and have Jonah let him be, is more energetic by jumping out of bed in the morning once again dragging Andrew along with him, he’s codependent on Andrew, he wants Andrew to revolve his mood around him almost despite him still waking up for the day.

The difference between the clothes they both wear is stark. Andrew is shirtless and in oversized pyjama pants showing his bare torso shows less care and more confidence whereas Jonah wearing Andrew’s hoodie even in the heat of summer can demonstrate the insecurity he might hold and Andrew’s hoodie giving him some sort of cover up to his facade. Jonahs complaints of being cold demonstrate how Andrew is constantly pleasing Jonah demands and needs in a sense of physical reassurance and security. The motion of Jonah taking the hoodie off and throwing it to Andrew can show that he feels less vulnerable now and almost tries to ‘give’ back to Andrew physically by telling him to put a shirt on.

When Andrew’s hoodie drapes over his forearm, it shows it’s not particularly priority to have his shirt on right now, considering the warm summer. Him greeting his mother sleepily and with lack of energy is opposite to his mothers warmth and kindness within her smile, her offering of coffee and them [Andrew and Jonah] sitting at the table show domesticity and familiarity. Near the window and the steam of the coffee freshly brewed acts as a thin obstruction of their view. The big gulp of fresh coffee followed by Andrew’s grimace outlines how he always acts on the heat of the moment only to regret things later on which can signify and bigger level of regret he might feel later on in the story.

The silence is broken with Andrew telling his plans for the day are spent with Jonah and by her lack of reaction with only a nod, his mother is accustomed to Jonah’s presence within the home and her sons life, her busying herself with breakfast shows the typical duties a mother does around the house.

Tension is created by Andrew’s mother asking if he took his meds, Andrew becomes defensive showing that despite his medication can help regulate him, he might believe the his true self of being suppressed by what he’s told to take. His constant rejection of “no” and “I don’t want to” and his mothers obligation of taking care of him by telling him to do so reflect that of trying to teach a young child to share and do things even with the stubborn refusal. Andrew doesn’t appreciate his mother’s assertions and looks out the window to avoid what will come of this interaction indication that taking his medication is a challenge for his mother to encourage due to his stubborn refusals. Jonah seems discomforted between the tension between his friend and his mother, unsure how to handle this. It could indicate that Jonah has either never seen Andrew and his mother like this before or that this is a common and painful occurrence.

Andrew’s mother dropping the pill muttering a small complaint converts her frustration verbally whereas Andrew slamming his fist on the table and dry swallowing his pill shows that point of assertion he wants to take back after feeling potentially humiliated by his mother in front of his best friend. Andrew storming out and having Jonah follow him out by Andrew’s blind rage can show Andrew’s avoidance in situations he doesn’t like the outcomes of especially if he knows he’s wrong and we see that physical assertion even though directed at his mother, we see the dynamic shift again of Andrew leading whilst Jonah follows instead of the usual Andrew let’s Jonah take lead. The coffee being left in solitude can reflect the mother being left in the house but also the social isolation that Andrew feels which makes him feel, angry at the world.

Andrew whos seemingly in a blind rage not caring if he’s shoving through thorns that can reflect on behalf of the thorns that he’s prickly and puts his guard up so people won’t be let in to ‘fix’ him such as his mother even if she had good intentions. His blind rage continues as he doesn’t respond to Jonah calling out to him and trudging towards him in order to catch up, this is opposite to the peace him and Andrew felt in Andrew’s room in the morning before going down for breakfast.

Andrew’s snapping if “I can’t hear you” outlines his fight or flight responses in the heat of the moment, he’s impulsive and perceived as violent as he uncaringly crushes a stick between his foot in his fit of rage. “What do you want!? What!?” Gives the impressions he’s ready to fight Jonah on whatever response he has next, seeking something to fuel his rage further. Jonah goes onto say “your moms a bitch” signifying that even know he’s a guest in Andrew’s home he lacks respect for his mother for telling him to take his meds, he appeals to Andrew’s frustrations in degrading his mother in which Andrew replies “I fucking hate that bitch!” Loudly echoing and laughing within the woods and raising his hands. Andrew’s body language seems free as he’s venting his frustrations even if he’s using degrading terms regarding his mother. This could make you begin to wonder the bigger picture, is there any factors of abuse or conflict between Andrew and his mother that might be left uncovered for now or is this due to Andrew’s hot, impulsive attitude resulting in using a degrading word regarding his mother?

Jonah didn’t laugh along which makes you think he didn’t mean that Andrew’s mom was a bitch and just wanted to say it so he could blow off some steam and have someone that would listen to him. We see Jonah’s more impulsive, less calculating moments as he tries subtly mirroring Andrew’s impulsiveness even if it’s just merely catching up to him so it feels like, Andrew has someone that will stick by his side. Jonah looks at the sun looking for answers but none are given to him, it could indicate some religious symbolism to Jonah potentially wanting answers from God about something but when that doesn’t happen he shifts back to reality where Andrew is still having his arms up get his frustration out. We see Jonah’s attempts of reassuring Andrew by acknowledging his complaints that Andrew’s meds make him feel horrible and agrees that he hates them equally to Andrew, the cracked voiced complaints of Andrew show youthful vulnerability which can show him opening up his feelings but the voice cracks could show the indications of insecurities of puberty. This could be reflected with Andrew thoughts that his mother wants him to take his meds because she thinks something ps wrong with him.

Shivering in the summer heat shows contrasts to the typical summer climates and the motions of Andrew’s shiver. Him losing almost losing his footing as the stone path turns to dirt shows the harsh transitions of life and the less guidance you get the older you become. Jonah is more careful as he naturally is more calculated in movements, he used his arms to swing so it can steady his balance so he won’t fall down whilst Andrew fidgets showing he’s nervous about some sort of new transition. Despite Andrew’s vented frustration he still seeks some Ito soothe himself so the cracking of his knuckles and wrists show him trying to self soothe, after finding that satisfaction the smile on his face shows he feels better from the situation that had just happened but he would go from one impulsive action to another. Which is followed by Andrew speeding away before Jonah could speak, it outlines his avoidance to situations and how Andrew’s prone to running away from situations he feels uncomfortable within.

Andrew speeding away from Jonah gives more and more separation in this moment, the chainlink fence to the school Andrew comes across, he wants to break free from the shackles holding him down and be more free like Jonah is shown to be especially in the previous chapter. Him throwing himself over shows the lack of grace and the boyish recklessness he holds like a younger boy tumbling around during play. The lighthearted remark of Andre saying “it’s public property!” mirrors a child trying to sound unfamiliar words together for the first time, he doesn’t wait for Jonah and even though before we see him try and wait for him to be near we see impulsivity and his obnoxious demeanour return “public property because the bastards are too poor to make it private— fuck them! Fuck them all!” Andrew chants as a way to get his frustrations out again by expressing his displeasure towards the institution that failed him academic and socially and as a result makes Andrew feel a lack of obligation to respect the property.

Jonah clearly not physically and possibly mentally keeping up with Andrew’s speed can be show with his breaths coming in short gasps, like Andrew’s sporadic outbursts can almost feel overwhelming. Jonah wanting Andrew to slow so he could keep up is followed by Andrew saying Jonah doesn’t get it and that nobody gets him, he describes himself like he’s flying which shows he’s pumping on adrenaline and feeling the liberation that Jonah felt in the previous chapter. We could see potential characteristics of bipolar within Andrew’s actions which can therefore explain perhaps why he felt such strong reluctance to his mother wanting him to take his medication thinking it would just be hiding his truth. We see him become more self destructive and Jonah’s worry of him hurting himself, it’s Jonah’s role to help Andrew and look after him emotionally now, not like how Andrew takes care of Jonah physically.

Them straightening sharply to seeing the new character, Prince who comes to their school dribbling a basketball alone could signify that due to the prior bullying they endure, they’ve been cautious and even cold to unsuspecting classmates henceforth Andrew’s eyes narrowing as a way of sizing up Prince followed by Jonah’s similar action. Andrew initiating this action before Jonah could shows in many other ways how Andrew is the more physically aggressive in wanting to assert himself more outright in comparison to Jonah.

Princes casual smile and the motion of trotting over to Andrew and Jonah could show he’s more down to earth and in his body language more open to other people even if they’re perceived to be ‘rude’ at first. Prince tries to make conversation in asking them if they wanted to play basketball with him which shows

Andrew’s aggression is showed by the snarky comment of him saying “of course you play basketball” showing some extent of prejudice, Jonah shoved him as a way to not have Andrew speak his mind which works for a while as the conversation has Jonah responding to Prince more even if it’s still passive aggressive. Jonah shifting on his feet and how his speech is separated by “…” can show he’s uncomfortable with the interaction that’s going on which can show a fine line between rudeness and just not wanting to talk, him looking Prince up and down makes him come off as not only judgemental but also insecure when he says “besides, you look like you’re much better than we are” trying to put himself down. Jonah in doing this could maybe be a way of him trying to get out of something he knows he’s bad at so he doesn’t embarrass himself due to past peer bullying he had endured but also to avoid conversations with people outside his small bubble. Prince on the other hand, is trying to push harder to get Jonah and Andrew to get out of their shells by potentially downplaying his skills, whether he’s good at basketball or not.

No matter Princes polite initiations in order to include Andrew and Jonah, Jonah interrupts abruptly by saying “your friends?” After Prince said “yesterday the guys—“. The emphasis Jonah has on friends could show how he might be jealous and almost resentful of Prince having a peer group he could bond over a hobby with as well as his skills to try and imitate small talk to classmates he’s never particularly encountered. Prince tries and makes sense of Jonah and Andrew by saying “what do you mean” followed by Jonah’s “nevermind” which can suggest a creep of frustration in Jonah’s voice. Prince, repeatedly offers for them to come and play and smiles at them whilst Jonah fixates in the gap in his teeth and rolled his eyes and looking at Andrew. Him fixating on someone else’s imperfections within their opinions can speak for the fact that Jonah and Andrew internalise a lot of insecurity for their appearance as well.

Andrew highlights the hate further in comparison to Jonah’s cold looks and dismissive remarks by saying “We don’t associate with people like you.” Followed by a sneer. This can be implied as a racist remark but also a rejection from Andrew for being offered to mix in different social circles, that was shown through Prince saying “what do you mean?”.

With Jonah blurting that Andrew doesn’t mean anything by it and the brief physical altercation between him and Andrew shows some sort of battle for dominance. Andrew wants to be heard and opinionated whereas Jonah wants to be silent but cold about it. When they learn Princes name both boys judge his name, Andrew just being more outspoken by saying “we’re not calling you that.” And smiling which can show the fake and almost dehumanising tactic bullies use to degrade their victims despite both Andrew and Jonah being victims of bullying themselves. Jonah saying to Prince that they’ll call him Travis instead of Prince followed by Princes faltered smile could show Prince feels a sense of rejection and frustration at the micro aggressions and subtle degradations Jonah and Andrew have sent across, him tightening the grip on the basketball showing his patience is being tested and the small step gap creates both physical and social distance as he starts to realise Andrew and Jonah’s attitudes.

Princes quieter tone after saying “Oh. Okay Travis it is […] Do you still want to play?” He shows to be more guarded, less casual but still maintains that kind facade. Andrew rejects Prince again yanking Jonah away creating that further distance and emphasised like they’re both looking down on him to try and find that sense of superiority within them. Jealousy and resentment to Princes kindness can be shown. Andrew looking at Jonah and sitting on the grass laughing and saying Prince was a weirdo creates that image of how the bullied becomes the bullies after Prince has left the interaction.

The description of Andrew looking towards the red bricked school with his low gaze making his eye bags more prominent can depict how mentally and physically tired he feels, red could emphasis the hatred and aggression he showed towards Prince which could be a reflection of him hating himself as well. It’s paired with him saying “I fucking hate this school”, fitting considering the red being a symbolism for hatred. The sunlight cradling his face could show that hatred he outputs makes his internal hatred outline making him seem vulnerable and in need of comfort. Jonah is seemed to be casual again by his one word of response of “yeah”. Andrew picking the grass could be like how he picked on Princes imperfection highlighting Andrew picks at his own imperfections. A reflection of his insecurity and vulnerability in this moment as well.

The mundane talk of how they ask if the grass gets mowed during summer break followed by shrugs between the 2 boys reflects a need for normalcy again. As it shifts the focus back to Prince of the court they shift to their nitpicking demeanour once again even after that brief reflection of their own picking insecurity. “Isn’t he supposed to be good at this” says Andrew shows prejudice and judgement even though if that was Andrew in that situation he would lash out in physical anger and out of embarrassment for not doing well and Jonah’s smirk of “why would you assume he would be good at basketball” with Andrew’s “I mean… just look at him” with the stifled giggles between shows another variant of their judgement towards their others when in fact would be the ones who would hate to be judged the most. The judging of every minute thing

Jonah going to pull up Andrew to go back to Andrew house because it’s hot could be a meaning of wanting to get out of a situation or environment they’re uncomfortable in and go back to the familiarity and comfort of Andrew’s home. This could imply Jonah first had a wave of internal guilt and wants to retrieve back somewhere he feels familiar in. Andrew still holds aspects of judgement by tilting his head towards Prince and rolling his eyes before catching up to Jonah grabbing his arm which can show the subtle want of comfort and familiarity that he seeks within Jonah, almost childish like a child holding onto their parents arm to remain stable except in this case this would be more for reassurance.

Jonah’s grace seems to reflect by his pounce and waiting for Andrew to come up to him showing he can’t carry on without him. Andrew’s aggression and brash movements are reflected by him throwing himself over, similarly to how parents throw their child into the deep end of the shocks throughout life. Jonah teasing by saying he’s careful, the irony of Andrew’s reckless jumping coupled with him saying “You’ll make such a good vet one day” a profession where you have to be careful and precise, it can show that even Jonah isn’t below subtle digs to his closest friend, disguising it as banter. This is shown when Andrew gets in Jonah’s face by saying “do you go to the vet, because you look like a dog” with Jonah’s shocked reaction and no comeback, perhaps not expecting Andrew to come at his face and day something like that so bluntly.

As they enter the familiar setting of Andre’s room, Jonah reflect the characteristics of a dog just coming back from a walk by groaning and shaking the dirt off his feet and flopping onto the bed. Andrew retrieving his journal and it described as fussing shows he keeps that journal close to his heart and him sitting at the edge of the bed whereas Jonah is still flopped can show a dynamic of a vet checking over notes whilst a dog sits on the bed at a vet.

Jonah props himself up peering into what Andrew was drawing which again reflects that mannerisms a dog holds as his attention piques. The image

The opening of “At last, it was senior year” coupled with various descriptions of their surroundings with the faded green paint and how tape is keeping plastic cracks together in reference to the setting of a park/child’s area, it symbolises Andrew and Jonah’s childhoods fading into adulthood. The cracks can symbolise the 2 boys facades they want to keep up as well as a reflection of their loosely held mental state.

The contrast of Jonah and Andrew smoking whilst children and adults play together in the park visualises the innocence that someone young, free and uncaring may hold in contrast to someone exposed to the ugly realities of the world. The shared cigarette suggesting they’re sharing and bonding over this pain. “Don’t kill it” in reference to not dropping the cigarette shows this might be the final one left on them and if it faded and dies on the ground, it can reflect Andre’s desire of still wanting to hold on for that while longer.

You see more imagery reflecting the childish nature of the 2 boys such as Jonah’s laughs and teasing to Andrew who ends up fighting with Jonah in retaliation. It suggests the 2 boys might feel like a tall child. They feel old and exposed to the hardships of the world early on but channel this frustration similarly to a child who doesn’t know how to output their emotions healthy therefore resulting to more physical outbursts.

This can be a reflection of conflict from inside the home, the isolation at school that they endure in different ways.

As they approach the abandoned merry go round which is also broken and wrapped in vines it’s symbolism to Jonah and Andrew’s isolation of feeling isolated and a dnaodned by society, broken after being used and disregarded. Jonah and Andrew messing around on it until they stop can reflect of the bullying they both endured, it’s similar how the bullied become the bully as they mess with this already broken merry go round just to leave it, mirroring their isolation.

The black beetle which Jonah crushed could allude to this loss of resilience to keep on living, henceforth his suicidal ideation. This could be because of his dreams to go in the army however his medication prescriptions despite not being provided and his major depressive disorder and with some extent, his ADHD. The one dream he held, possibly a reason to live was crushed like that beetle, he has nothing left to lose.

Andrew’s actions of fisting a vine to reluctantly letting it go can be a symbolism for physical bullying, realising he should stop and reflect like he does further into the chapter. The reluctance could perhaps show remorse Andrew might hold for his actions as he is shown to be very ‘heat in the moment’ with his actions.

Him trudging to Jonah highlights to undertone of dominance that Jonah may hold over Andrew being the less reactive one of the both of them. It could be suggested that he uses Andrew’s ‘hot’ personality to control silently.

Andrew saying “do you think anyone goes here” to Jonah’s response of “Once upon a time”, a common opening to fairytales, suggests the hidden mystery of the location they’re in as well as the frequent references of childhood innocence and despite the hardships endured, at the end of the day, they’re truly failed children at heart.

The reference to a suicide path which Jonah mentions, foreshadows a route they might encounter in the near and upcoming future. Despite the route implied Jonah wants to take, Andrew’s actions of walking away from an edge shows he isn’t ready to take his own life like Jonah is.

In contrast, Jonah is running freely spreading his arms which are described as wings, it can suggest the freedom of the acceptance he may feel of knowing he will take his life as well as the want to be free of the conformity required to fit into society. The description of wings can allude to angels, foreshadowing that Jonah would be remembered as an angels whilst Andrew is remembered as a devil.

As it says Andrew was forced to chase Jonah, it implies again that he isn’t ready to take his life like Jonah is but feels obligation to catch up and stay by Jonah’s side until the very end. Andrew yanking Jonah back from running can imply that he doesn’t want Jonah to obtain this freedom(alluding to suicide yet) until Andrew himself is ready, this therefore gives the impression that Andrew doesn’t want to feel obligated to catch up to Cals implied freedom and acceptance of taking his life alongside him soon.

The mention of the heartbeats slowing and the 2 boys laying on the grass and give foreshadowing to their dying breaths but the mention of Holden hour being somewhere, coupled alongside this description symbolises the warmth and nostalgia they both might feel due to the upcoming transitions of life. Typically, this would be that they are about to turn into adults and are approaching their final year in high school however this transition could be instead that their childhood will die, so will they. Another thing the golden hour can allude to within the context of this story is their nostalgia referring to childhood, the term ‘golden age’ can go hand in hand with this. The golden hour being ‘somewhere’ and the connotations of childhood can be that their innocence and typical support is drifting out of reach the closer they are to turning 18.

The initials carved into the notebook ‘AH’ and ‘JD’ shows an undeniable intimate connection between Andrew and Jonah, whether it implies to just be platonic or romantic connection. No matter the type of connection it shows the unconditional love and loyalty they have for one another even if their relationship is rough around the edges. The description of ‘jaggedly’ shows the highs and lows their relationship has encountered but stick together through and through.

The cheap blue pen used which refuses to write and draw and was found discarded on the floor could be a representation of the stubbornness and reluctance Andrew and Jonah have to opening up, showing the social reclusion they both have within the institutions the are apart of with in society such as within the family, peer groups and education settings.

Since early on in the chapter, Andrew has expressed his dislike for authority much more than Jonah who seems to express and indifference. Jonah’s indifferences compared to Andrew’s clear disdain could reflect his dreams of wanting to enlist into the army. Referring back to Andrew’s disdain for authority however, when we look at the choice words such as ‘fat’, ‘retard’, ‘uses big words to be condescending’, some could be words of how Andrew sees himself.

The word retard he describes the teacher, this can be the soul destroying insecurity he has that his grades went from A’s to D’s and F’s in that transition from middle school to high school. Him also expressing his dislike for his teacher using words like ‘temperamental’ could show that another way of how he doesn’t like how others use words he doesn’t know the meaning of yet due to that sense of feeling behind which we also see when he was visibly annoyed when Jonah also used temperamental.

The word fat despite no implication that he ever had issues with his weight or body, it still can serve as reflection that he’s insecure with aspects of his appearance.

“I wish the went down”(Andrew) > “like the sun”(Jonah), what they have said can infer that they want their current stage of life to end and turn into the new beginning. This differs to the use of golden hour earlier as that showed more childish nostalgia whilst this reveals the more impending end of life they both crave.

The date Andrew wrote in the margin wasn’t told so this could reveal that a date will be revealed later on in reference to an event of plans their scheduling to happen.

“Smarter than God” Jonah provokes Andrew knowing his aversion to religion his response being “God is a concept”. Andrew’s disdain for religion could be because of the authority it holds over people both on this physical earth and Gods alleged power over everything in existence which we cannot control.

The existence of Gods true attributes prevalent within Mackeen’s inconsistent triad (omnibenevolence and omnipotence) can be questioned when Jonah questions why God makes him crave holding the barrel of a gun in his hand. It’s provocative as it questions the true extent of gods lovingness and shows his lack of intervention which could prevent these thoughts in going through Jonah’s head.

Referring back to Jonah’s dreams of enlisting in the army and him stating about the craving of holding a barrel of a gun, his ambitions could be a way of trying to indulge into his homicidal thoughts without much legal trouble.

The route towards the train tracks can be shown as a path to suicide as many people take their life by trying to get hit by a train, these tracks could mean Andrew is finally giving into the same thoughts of suicide Jonah craves as we see a shift in dynamic. The dynamic which has shifted is that Jonah is now following behind Andrew on the tracks which can allude to the beginning of Andrew’s acceptance of this fate that Jonah has as well.

The stars winking in the sky can show secrecy in reference to the date Andrew has written down but also serve as a guiding light towards a path even if this path leads 2 young boys towards their demise. The stars above can also serve as a provocation of God to both Andrew and Jonah and then the reader as he ultimately knows the path they’re going down.

The difference between the boys body language is stark within the forest. When Jonah is described to spread his arms like wings it’s like he embraces and accepts his surroundings within thick lonely and isolated land on top of the train tracks whereas Andrew displays closed body language showing he’s still hesitant in opening up to his surroundings.

It once again links to how Jonah is welcoming the freedom suicide provides whereas Andrew sees it as a fearsome step to take.

The description of Andrew’s hefty boots shielding the railway, the use of ‘sheilding’ can imply feelings he’s trying to conceal and urges he’s trying to suppress in contrast to Jonah’s more open and careless almost childish body language.

Whilst we see Jonah being the more accepting of this fate, we see hesitation of when he stops walking and turns back to Andrew. THSI ultimately represents their codependency and that they would not be able to function without one another.

The mundane talk of attending birthday parties that’s included reflects a normalcy within the scene, the use of party associated with youth and a childlike atmosphere. Alternatively this takes a dark turn on the usually happy event as with both boys smirking after Jonah said “I’m dying 17.”. Shortly following on by this Andrew says “does death scare you?” Which emitted a childish response from Jonah of that of an energetic and playful child as it said he ‘raced ahead’, ‘howled’, ‘swung his arms around’ and ‘jumped’ saying “death excites me” as if it’s a game or a present waiting to be gifted to him on his birthday or Christmas.

Andrew’s usual running is now described as trotting which can allude to he might not need to catch up with Jonah’s plans as much as he did in the beginning, its shows a lot more openness to death.

We see a rare instance of vulnerability to Jonah which is when he expresses how he wishes not to go back home implying conflict within his family or another factor of fear on why he doesn’t want to go back with Andrew’s response of “then don’t.” ending on a blunt note of the chapter which can foreshadow the upcoming days that Jonah will quite literally not come back home. This dynamic shift shows again Andrew seemingly being more in control in this moment.

The opening of “At last, it was senior year” coupled with various descriptions of their surroundings with the faded green paint and how tape is keeping plastic cracks together in reference to the setting of a park/child’s area, it symbolises Andrew and Jonah’s childhoods fading into adulthood. The cracks can symbolise the 2 boys facades they want to keep up as well as a reflection of their loosely held mental state.

The contrast of Jonah and Andrew smoking whilst children and adults play together in the park visualises the innocence that someone young, free and uncaring may hold in contrast to someone exposed to the ugly realities of the world. The shared cigarette suggesting they’re sharing and bonding over this pain. “Don’t kill it” in reference to not dropping the cigarette shows this might be the final one left on them and if it faded and dies on the ground, it can reflect Andre’s desire of still wanting to hold on for that while longer.

You see more imagery reflecting the childish nature of the 2 boys such as Jonah’s laughs and teasing to Andrew who ends up fighting with Jonah in retaliation. It suggests the 2 boys might feel like a tall child. They feel old and exposed to the hardships of the world early on but channel this frustration similarly to a child who doesn’t know how to output their emotions healthy therefore resulting to more physical outbursts.

This can be a reflection of conflict from inside the home, the isolation at school that they endure in different ways.

As they approach the abandoned merry go round which is also broken and wrapped in vines it’s symbolism to Jonah and Andrew’s isolation of feeling isolated and a dnaodned by society, broken after being used and disregarded. Jonah and Andrew messing around on it until they stop can reflect of the bullying they both endured, it’s similar how the bullied become the bully as they mess with this already broken merry go round just to leave it, mirroring their isolation.

The black beetle which Jonah crushed could allude to this loss of resilience to keep on living, henceforth his suicidal ideation. This could be because of his dreams to go in the army however his medication prescriptions despite not being provided and his major depressive disorder and with some extent, his ADHD. The one dream he held, possibly a reason to live was crushed like that beetle, he has nothing left to lose.

Andrew’s actions of fisting a vine to reluctantly letting it go can be a symbolism for physical bullying, realising he should stop and reflect like he does further into the chapter. The reluctance could perhaps show remorse Andrew might hold for his actions as he is shown to be very ‘heat in the moment’ with his actions.

Him trudging to Jonah highlights to undertone of dominance that Jonah may hold over Andrew being the less reactive one of the both of them. It could be suggested that he uses Andrew’s ‘hot’ personality to control silently.

Andrew saying “do you think anyone goes here” to Jonah’s response of “Once upon a time”, a common opening to fairytales, suggests the hidden mystery of the location they’re in as well as the frequent references of childhood innocence and despite the hardships endured, at the end of the day, they’re truly failed children at heart.

The reference to a suicide path which Jonah mentions, foreshadows a route they might encounter in the near and upcoming future. Despite the route implied Jonah wants to take, Andrew’s actions of walking away from an edge shows he isn’t ready to take his own life like Jonah is.

In contrast, Jonah is running freely spreading his arms which are described as wings, it can suggest the freedom of the acceptance he may feel of knowing he will take his life as well as the want to be free of the conformity required to fit into society. The description of wings can allude to angels, foreshadowing that Jonah would be remembered as an angels whilst Andrew is remembered as a devil.

As it says Andrew was forced to chase Jonah, it implies again that he isn’t ready to take his life like Jonah is but feels obligation to catch up and stay by Jonah’s side until the very end. Andrew yanking Jonah back from running can imply that he doesn’t want Jonah to obtain this freedom(alluding to suicide yet) until Andrew himself is ready, this therefore gives the impression that Andrew doesn’t want to feel obligated to catch up to Cals implied freedom and acceptance of taking his life alongside him soon.

The mention of the heartbeats slowing and the 2 boys laying on the grass and give foreshadowing to their dying breaths but the mention of Holden hour being somewhere, coupled alongside this description symbolises the warmth and nostalgia they both might feel due to the upcoming transitions of life. Typically, this would be that they are about to turn into adults and are approaching their final year in high school however this transition could be instead that their childhood will die, so will they. Another thing the golden hour can allude to within the context of this story is their nostalgia referring to childhood, the term ‘golden age’ can go hand in hand with this. The golden hour being ‘somewhere’ and the connotations of childhood can be that their innocence and typical support is drifting out of reach the closer they are to turning 18.

The initials carved into the notebook ‘AH’ and ‘JD’ shows an undeniable intimate connection between Andrew and Jonah, whether it implies to just be platonic or romantic connection. No matter the type of connection it shows the unconditional love and loyalty they have for one another even if their relationship is rough around the edges. The description of ‘jaggedly’ shows the highs and lows their relationship has encountered but stick together through and through.

The cheap blue pen used which refuses to write and draw and was found discarded on the floor could be a representation of the stubbornness and reluctance Andrew and Jonah have to opening up, showing the social reclusion they both have within the institutions the are apart of with in society such as within the family, peer groups and education settings.

Since early on in the chapter, Andrew has expressed his dislike for authority much more than Jonah who seems to express and indifference. Jonah’s indifferences compared to Andrew’s clear disdain could reflect his dreams of wanting to enlist into the army. Referring back to Andrew’s disdain for authority however, when we look at the choice words such as ‘fat’, ‘retard’, ‘uses big words to be condescending’, some could be words of how Andrew sees himself.

The word retard he describes the teacher, this can be the soul destroying insecurity he has that his grades went from A’s to D’s and F’s in that transition from middle school to high school. Him also expressing his dislike for his teacher using words like ‘temperamental’ could show that another way of how he doesn’t like how others use words he doesn’t know the meaning of yet due to that sense of feeling behind which we also see when he was visibly annoyed when Jonah also used temperamental.

The word fat despite no implication that he ever had issues with his weight or body, it still can serve as reflection that he’s insecure with aspects of his appearance.

“I wish the went down”(Andrew) > “like the sun”(Jonah), what they have said can infer that they want their current stage of life to end and turn into the new beginning. This differs to the use of golden hour earlier as that showed more childish nostalgia whilst this reveals the more impending end of life they both crave.

The date Andrew wrote in the margin wasn’t told so this could reveal that a date will be revealed later on in reference to an event of plans their scheduling to happen.

“Smarter than God” Jonah provokes Andrew knowing his aversion to religion his response being “God is a concept”. Andrew’s disdain for religion could be because of the authority it holds over people both on this physical earth and Gods alleged power over everything in existence which we cannot control.

The existence of Gods true attributes prevalent within Mackeen’s inconsistent triad (omnibenevolence and omnipotence) can be questioned when Jonah questions why God makes him crave holding the barrel of a gun in his hand. It’s provocative as it questions the true extent of gods lovingness and shows his lack of intervention which could prevent these thoughts in going through Jonah’s head.

Referring back to Jonah’s dreams of enlisting in the army and him stating about the craving of holding a barrel of a gun, his ambitions could be a way of trying to indulge into his homicidal thoughts without much legal trouble.

The route towards the train tracks can be shown as a path to suicide as many people take their life by trying to get hit by a train, these tracks could mean Andrew is finally giving into the same thoughts of suicide Jonah craves as we see a shift in dynamic. The dynamic which has shifted is that Jonah is now following behind Andrew on the tracks which can allude to the beginning of Andrew’s acceptance of this fate that Jonah has as well.

The stars winking in the sky can show secrecy in reference to the date Andrew has written down but also serve as a guiding light towards a path even if this path leads 2 young boys towards their demise. The stars above can also serve as a provocation of God to both Andrew and Jonah and then the reader as he ultimately knows the path they’re going down.

The difference between the boys body language is stark within the forest. When Jonah is described to spread his arms like wings it’s like he embraces and accepts his surroundings within thick lonely and isolated land on top of the train tracks whereas Andrew displays closed body language showing he’s still hesitant in opening up to his surroundings.

It once again links to how Jonah is welcoming the freedom suicide provides whereas Andrew sees it as a fearsome step to take.

The description of Andrew’s hefty boots shielding the railway, the use of ‘sheilding’ can imply feelings he’s trying to conceal and urges he’s trying to suppress in contrast to Jonah’s more open and careless almost childish body language.

Whilst we see Jonah being the more accepting of this fate, we see hesitation of when he stops walking and turns back to Andrew. THSI ultimately represents their codependency and that they would not be able to function without one another.

The mundane talk of attending birthday parties that’s included reflects a normalcy within the scene, the use of party associated with youth and a childlike atmosphere. Alternatively this takes a dark turn on the usually happy event as with both boys smirking after Jonah said “I’m dying 17.”. Shortly following on by this Andrew says “does death scare you?” Which emitted a childish response from Jonah of that of an energetic and playful child as it said he ‘raced ahead’, ‘howled’, ‘swung his arms around’ and ‘jumped’ saying “death excites me” as if it’s a game or a present waiting to be gifted to him on his birthday or Christmas.

Andrew’s usual running is now described as trotting which can allude to he might not need to catch up with Jonah’s plans as much as he did in the beginning, its shows a lot more openness to death.

We see a rare instance of vulnerability to Jonah which is when he expresses how he wishes not to go back home implying conflict within his family or another factor of fear on why he doesn’t want to go back with Andrew’s response of “then don’t.” ending on a blunt note of the chapter which can foreshadow the upcoming days that Jonah will quite literally not come back home. This dynamic shift shows again Andrew seemingly being more in control in this moment.