StrexCorp® Synernists Inc.

nospaceofregret:

If Sara had been anything else than what she was, it would have been the end of her. 

“Oh, you’re going to regret doing that, dears.”

Her voice rang out, savage and clear, from every one of her sparks as they were stalled. But instead of washing away, she only grew brighter, blindingly so. 

“You never did think things through. I always warned you” 

For Sara was sustained by what energy she could leech away from elsewhere, and just before starting this conflict, she’d done away with her own restrictions in that regard. She could draw directly from her environment, and 805 had just presented her with an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

“Now it’s time for you to die.”

The last few shreds of her terror fell away, and the force of the energy flowing through her forged her fury into steel. Her thoughts came clearer now as the connections between all her parts were strengthened to the point of visibility. She emerged from 805′s attack as a brilliant net, and launched herself at 805 to wrap tightly around them. 

A hundred trillion years of dread and terror left un-felt screeched out as Sara wrapped around 805′s cosmic bulk. They twisted and writhed in and out of time, over untold leagues of space, whole universes birthed and destroyed where they interacted with the fields of matter they had been wrapped in since their inception. Shuddering shocks vibrated through the Mudwomb as Department 805 tried to escape the pocket dimension, to call the whole thing off, but it was no use. They inverted themselves, tried to invert Sara, unable to shake her off.

“INSOLENT! INSOLENT!”

She didn’t need to leech any more strength from them, didn’t need to tap directly into the core of all they were and suck energy from them as they struggled. But she had always been thorough, and she wasn’t going to chance any part of them getting away. 

For one glorious moment, Sara was in control of most of the energy that existed in this pocket dimension.

“This is for Jim.”

The truth is, what humankind considers the laws of physics change all the time, as the entities responsible for them shift around, awakening and falling asleep, killing each other and giving birth to new ones. Somewhere past the stars and sideways all of this happens, and most of the resultant changes are small enough to escape the notice of scientists. Like the movement of tectonic plates, they might be eventually detected and understood, and at that point, perhaps humankind will be a little bit closer to understanding the situation it’s in. But like the world of particle physics, these interactions are so minute that they go unnoticed. They heal and scab over and that’s the end of it.

Maybe someone felt it when Department 805 died. Maybe someone’s soup stayed warm a little bit longer, or someone who should’ve passed on one day instead, against all odds, lived another two weeks. But Department 805 wasn’t Entropy, as close as the two were, and their influence on reality - aside from their agenda on Earth, and the cruelties they had personally imparted onto so many captive worlds before - was small.

When Sara, bursting with energy, so different from what a human was supposed to be, said those words, Department 805 didn’t feel anything. It wasn’t their job to feel things, the same way it’s not a bird’s job to go into space. But it did finally occur to them, solidly and without any doubt, that this time they were well and truly fucked.

And then they burst, the whole of them, planets catching fire and crumbling, planar rifts fusing and fragmenting, leaving Sara - their first and only true friend, their last and greatest enemy - in the dust that was once something unfathomably powerful and malevolent.

nospaceofregret:

The sound of it made her stop in her tracks. She’d heard that, she’d heard that. They were still here, this was still just some dirty trick, and they were laughing at her. 

Rage bloomed anew within her, tearing through her fear, and she came to an immediate decision: she wouldn’t let them hide any longer. 

Mere seconds after she’d fallen still, she exploded outward into a million tiny sparks, all linked together by nothing more than a vague memory of being whole and a single, all-encompassing purpose. As they scattered, their light grew brighter, illuminating everything around her until there was no place for her enemy to hide. 

805 in their enormity began to reappear, annoyed and confused and a little bit shocked by what Sara had just done.

Two could play at this game, only 805 knew they couldn’t split themselves up. They were weaker that way. It’d been their ruination, trying to preserve themselves by splitting up into so many different pieces, hiding themselves away in different corners of the world.

With a deep breath, or something like a deep breath, 805 drew themselves back together.

In a thousand worlds, tiny orange flash drives blinked, and fizzled, and burned themselves out as every tendril of 805 snaked its way back to the whole. People on Earth felt a little nauseous as the nanobots in their bodies from Starbucks deactivated, bits of 805′s consciousness seeping back through the dimensions separating them from their original colony, the mass outside of time.

Feeling itself whole for the first time in a long time, the entity that some called 805, an agent of Entropy, felt the strength of a hundred trillion years flowing through every ounce of its being. And was that… happiness? Triumph? It didn’t know, because it wasn’t made for knowing. But it concentrated all of this power inward on the dimension it inhabited, inward on the diluted bits of Sara Hamilton, and shouted:

“We are light, and light, and light, and light, AND LIGHT, AND LIGHT!”

And a charge of pure chaotic energy burst through the whole space, passing through the pieces of their foe like a gale hoping to wash her away.

If Sara had been anything else than what she was, it would have been the end of her. 

“Oh, you’re going to regret doing that, dears.”

Her voice rang out, savage and clear, from every one of her sparks as they were stalled. But instead of washing away, she only grew brighter, blindingly so. 

“You never did think things through. I always warned you” 

For Sara was sustained by what energy she could leech away from elsewhere, and just before starting this conflict, she’d done away with her own restrictions in that regard. She could draw directly from her environment, and 805 had just presented her with an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

“Now it’s time for you to die.”

nospaceofregret:

From there it was all downhill. She screamed again, a wordless, wretched sound half-terror and half-fury, and threw herself forward into the darkness. There had to be something here, sound boundary she could hurl herself against until it broke. But with no light to see by and no sense of direction, she merely hurtled through space in an aimless spiral. All the while, she continued to shout and sob and scream obscenities laced with arcs of electric current that fizzled out before they could find a target. 

From somewhere in the darkness came a chuckle.

The sound of it made her stop in her tracks. She’d heard that, she’d heard that. They were still here, this was still just some dirty trick, and they were laughing at her. 

Rage bloomed anew within her, tearing through her fear, and she came to an immediate decision: she wouldn’t let them hide any longer. 

Two could play at this game, only 805 knew they couldn’t split themselves up. They were weaker that way. It’d been their ruination, trying to preserve themselves by splitting up into so many different pieces, hiding themselves away in different corners of the world.

With a deep breath, or something like a deep breath, 805 drew themselves back together.

In a thousand worlds, tiny orange flash drives blinked, and fizzled, and burned themselves out as every tendril of 805 snaked its way back to the whole. People on Earth felt a little nauseous as the nanobots in their bodies from Starbucks deactivated, bits of 805′s consciousness seeping back through the dimensions separating them from their original colony, the mass outside of time.

Feeling itself whole for the first time in a long time, the entity that some called 805, an agent of Entropy, felt the strength of a hundred trillion years flowing through every ounce of its being. And was that... happiness? Triumph? It didn’t know, because it wasn’t made for knowing. But it concentrated all of this power inward on the dimension it inhabited, inward on the diluted bits of Sara Hamilton, and shouted:

“We are light, and light, and light, and light, AND LIGHT, AND LIGHT!”

nospaceofregret:

The muttering continued for untold lengths of time, growing louder until Sara was nearly shouting. And then, as her agitation reached its peak, she stared defiantly out into the nothingness and detonated all her remaining anchors in one go. 

These explosions were more forceful than the last few, fueled by her rage and terror and the strength she’d been accumulating all this while. But as soon as she’d done this, she realized her mistake: now there was nothing to hold onto to remind herself that she wasn’t truly alone in this place. 

The impact of what she’d just done rolled over her, making her form flicker, and then she curled up on herself so tightly she became nothing more than a glowing point in the dark. An agonized half-scream, half-sob escaped her; she was trapped here, she was cut off from everything, and she might never get out. 

…

nospaceofregret:

 They were there, she knew they were, this was just a trick. 

She’d always been the trickiest one of all, hadn’t she?

Sara crossed her arms and held her head high. “Two can play at this game,” she muttered, and lapsed herself into silence. 

Time passed. Hours, days, years? It was impossible to tell in this place, but still she held her tongue. She would not break first. She would use this time to come up with a plan and gather her strength.

At least, that’s what she told herself. 

As the silence filled the emptiness in which she floated, ringing hollowly all around her, a darkness crept into her. It squirmed its way into every last spark of her being, turning every thought desperate, grasping for a fear which wasn’t entirely there and building upon it. Little by little, she lost herself, hiding behind a mask of stubborn calm. 

Little by little, that mask cracked. By the time she was muttering insensibly, quiet refrains of, “No, no, no!” and “I can’t be here, I can’t, let me out let me out–,” she was too far gone even to notice.

…

The muttering continued for untold lengths of time, growing louder until Sara was nearly shouting. And then, as her agitation reached its peak, she stared defiantly out into the nothingness and detonated all her remaining anchors in one go. 

These explosions were more forceful than the last few, fueled by her rage and terror and the strength she’d been accumulating all this while. But as soon as she’d done this, she realized her mistake: now there was nothing to hold onto to remind herself that she wasn’t truly alone in this place. 

nospaceofregret:

Still nothing? But… how? She knew them, she’d seen firsthand what they were like. Where was this silent persistence coming from?

Unless… but no.

…

Unless.

That single word, a thought too terrible to articulate fully, echoed round inside her, drowning everything else out. 

Unless.

But there was no way, she tried to remind herself. She was anchored to them still, she knew they were there–

And yet the darkness closed in around her. The nothingness. A universe empty but for her. 

She shook herself, clinging to her fading certainty that this was just a trick, that everything would be alright if she was just patient enough and clever enough, like she knew she could be, but the words still escaped her anyway, a half-savage shout:

“Show yourself, you cowardly piece of shit!”

…

 They were there, she knew they were, this was just a trick. 

She’d always been the trickiest one of all, hadn’t she?

Sara crossed her arms and held her head high. “Two can play at this game,” she muttered, and lapsed herself into silence. 

Time passed. Hours, days, years? It was impossible to tell in this place, but still she held her tongue. She would not break first. She would use this time to come up with a plan and gather her strength.

At least, that’s what she told herself. 

As the silence filled the emptiness in which she floated, ringing hollowly all around her, a darkness crept into her. It squirmed its way into every last spark of her being, turning every thought desperate, grasping for a fear which wasn’t entirely there and building upon it. Little by little, she lost herself, hiding behind a mask of stubborn calm. 

nospaceofregret:

How could they just let that slide? They were far too arrogant to simply ignore her, she knew that. She’d watched them risk important projects time and time again because they couldn’t resist engaging with people trying to strike a nerve. 

So why the silence? Why now? 

The squirminess was getting stronger now. In the absence of any lighting fixtures or devices powered by electricity, there was nothing to react to Sara’s fluctuations, to indicate to her that she was the one slipping here. 

“Oh no, did I hurt your feelings?” She blinked to another anchor, found everything the same. On impulse, she detonated it. “What hurts worse? That, or knowing you’re going to lose?”

…

Still nothing? But… how? She knew them, she’d seen firsthand what they were like. Where was this silent persistence coming from?

Unless… but no.

…

Unless.

That single word, a thought too terrible to articulate fully, echoed round inside her, drowning everything else out. 

Unless.

But there was no way, she tried to remind herself. She was anchored to them still, she knew they were there–

And yet the darkness closed in around her. The nothingness. A universe empty but for her. 

She shook herself, clinging to her fading certainty that this was just a trick, that everything would be alright if she was just patient enough and clever enough, like she knew she could be, but the words still escaped her anyway, a half-savage shout:

nospaceofregret:

“Is this the game you’re playing now?” She laughed again, ignoring whatever squirmy sensation that was trying to worm its way out of her carefully composed shell. 

With a disappointed tsk, she went on, “You’re wrong, you know. I don’t think I’m better than you just because I’ve done away with some of the things holding me back. I was better than you before I ever came to this place. You taught me that, by the way. Your inability to destroy one measly little human ghost? All that running away from just a tiny, insensible part of me? Now that I’m whole again, do you really think you have any chance in hell of winning this?”

…

How could they just let that slide? They were far too arrogant to simply ignore her, she knew that. She’d watched them risk important projects time and time again because they couldn’t resist engaging with people trying to strike a nerve. 

So why the silence? Why now? 

The squirminess was getting stronger now. In the absence of any lighting fixtures or devices powered by electricity, there was nothing to react to Sara’s fluctuations, to indicate to her that she was the one slipping here. 

nospaceofregret:

Sara did not handle being left in the darkness well. She wasn’t afraid, per say; she’d shredded her fear up too much for it to ever be the same. But she was… uncomfortable. Vaguely claustrophobic. 

She still had her remaining anchors though. She wasn’t anywhere new. 805 was still there with her, even if she couldn’t see them. Dirty tricks, that’s all this was.

So she gathered herself and answered them, skeptical and laughing, “Well, yes. Running away and hiding in the dark’s an awfully cowardly thing to do, dears.”

Nothing. Not a breath or a shift or a draft of dust.

“Is this the game you’re playing now?” She laughed again, ignoring whatever squirmy sensation that was trying to worm its way out of her carefully composed shell. 

nospaceofregret:

But she did nothing else. She perched herself, sitting comfortably cross-legged in vague orbit around another anchor, laughing as she took advantage of the lull to leech more strength. Those last explosions had been triggered by destroying parts of herself, and if her enemy was going to give her a moment to recover, she was damn well going to take it. 

“You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?” she asked, her playful lilt carrying undertones of deadly fury. “I didn’t think you had it in you; recognizing threats was never your forte.” 

“If we were afraid of you, could we do this?”

Proverbially speaking, Department 805 shut all the lights off.

To Sara, they seemed to disappear in an instant, and she was alone in the darkness.

Sara did not handle being left in the darkness well. She wasn’t afraid, per say; she’d shredded her fear up too much for it to ever be the same. But she was… uncomfortable. Vaguely claustrophobic. 

She still had her remaining anchors though. She wasn’t anywhere new. 805 was still there with her, even if she couldn’t see them. Dirty tricks, that’s all this was.

nospaceofregret:

“Whatever you decide, you’ll have to catch me first,” she said, and vanished.

The first inversion had caught her off guard, but at the second she’d already shifted gears to take it in stride. She’d curled on herself and let them toss her around, and every time she collided with or came near a different part of them, she performed her very first and most subtle ghost trick and planted an anchor there. By the time they had finished with that torment, she’d created a constellation of points she could freely blink between. 

“Over here now, dears,” she called out in a sickly-sweet singsong as she orbited one of their planets. No sooner had she finished speaking than she detonated that anchor and blinked over to another. “Does that hurt much? I certainly hope so.” Another blink, another detonation, and she was laughing again, the sound equal parts delirium and delight. 

They stomached the blows, didn’t allow themselves frustration. Instead they decided to take the minor losses and wait for Sara to do something else. Hopefully something stupid they could exploit, they thought, pretending they didn’t know her better than that.

But she did nothing else. She perched herself, sitting comfortably cross-legged in vague orbit around another anchor, laughing as she took advantage of the lull to leech more strength. Those last explosions had been triggered by destroying parts of herself, and if her enemy was going to give her a moment to recover, she was damn well going to take it. 

Proverbially speaking, Department 805 shut all the lights off.

nospaceofregret:

Pain beyond description, beyond even comprehension. Being torn from them stunned her, but for only a moment, only until she remembered she was already dead, that she didn’t fucking care what happened to her so long as they came down with her. 

She stared unflinchingly at them as they descended upon her, understanding little of what she saw but knowing it was her enemy and Sara Pauline Hamilton never let an enemy get the best of her. She didn’t fight their pull, didn’t try to get out of the way of the planet that collided into her with such force she was surprised she didn’t explode into a million tiny sparks. 

And then, she laughed. 

She laughed as she clung to the planet, sunk her fingers into it with single-minded focus. Laughed as she sought the core of their strength, whatever wretched and horrible energy kept them going in their twisted, inhuman way. It was the laughter of the mad, of someone with nothing to lose, the laughter of a person so done with everything that their plight seems, to them at least, impossibly funny. 

She’d had an idea, formed a plan based on her old tactic of screaming into the heads of those she possessed, and it was time to test it out. Still laughing, she sapped strength from them like the leech she was, only to turn it back on them with the force of an explosion. 

One planet cascaded into another, then another, as Sara set into motion a chain reaction. Entire worlds of suffering eclipsed each other and were obliterated.

In that moment, staring down Sara, a laughing wreck with no self-preservation, Department 805 understood what she was doing. They’d seen it before.

“Jim. You’re just like Jim.”

And for a moment they let themselves realize they were well and truly fucked.

But only a moment, and then they were back to the self-assurance that characterized everything they did.

“Jim tried hard,” they said. Planets swirled faster than they should ever go, orbiting around Sara in a flurry as whole civilizations screamed, ducked, lost their minds. “He tried a whole lot fucking harder than you. And we fucked him up for good.” They drew power up through their roots, their anchors on the universe, a tiny bit of something-like-ichor spouting from the wound Sara had given them when she’d possessed them last time, caught them off guard, did they have this? Yes, they had this.

“Just by being here,” they continued, “you’re gonna be so much more fucked up than Jim. You went in there and fucked yourself up for us. You have friends, people you care about, do you know what you are now? Do you think there’s any way this ends well for you, for them?”

With a quick flip they inverted the entire universe, flung Sara around the confines of reality and snapped her right back into place like a paddleball, did it a few more times.

“What are we even going to do with you?”

“Whatever you decide, you’ll have to catch me first,” she said, and vanished.

The first inversion had caught her off guard, but at the second she’d already shifted gears to take it in stride. She’d curled on herself and let them toss her around, and every time she collided with or came near a different part of them, she performed her very first and most subtle ghost trick and planted an anchor there. By the time they had finished with that torment, she’d created a constellation of points she could freely blink between. 

nospaceofregret:

And there is was: her entry point. Her whole being curled into something of a smile. “Understanding how you work, dears,” she replied cheerily. “I want to get this right.” 

Even as she spoke, she rolled her own code up again and brought herself together, immediately taking her concentrated strength and pouncing upon them. Possession was her goal, even if only in part, and she latched onto them with every ounce of electric fury in her, clawing her way in.

An automatic defense mechanism, a metaphysical flinch, pierced back at her with the concentrated might of trillions of years, piercing like a fistful of needles through any part of her that was still tangible, still human, still weak.

“Oh, fuck that shit,” they said, disappointed in Sara, disappointed in themselves for failing to see this coming.

And as they prepared to strike back at her, to obliterate her treasonous ass once and for all, the full force of her possession attempt struck them and reverberated throughout their unshakable skeleton of worlds. The pain was beyond description.

“Lis…” They whimpered, and straightened themselves out, still holding Sara in their needle-like grasp, a messy but firm grip, like damaged velcro barely hanging on but pretty much doing the job. “LISTEN. We’ve given you EVERY fucking chance. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.”

Yes… this was them. This was 805. They were doing to make it out of this.

“You have never understood what you were dealing with.” They ripped her hold out from their cosmic being, tearing her possession attempt, the event of it ever happening, out of time and space like a stinger stuck in skin. The way you’re not supposed to do with an arrow, but they were too enraged, too imperfect to care. Department 805 spat Sara out into the middle of the pocket universe, their pocket universe, and closed in on her, a great big smile of planets and pain sprinkled across her field of view.

“Just because you got rid of a little bit of that material shit inside of you, you think you’re better than us. That you get this. That you get to push us around.” They laughed, a cold, triumphant, throaty laugh. “No. No, you’re gonna get it.”

They gripped her and pulled her into physical being as best they could, as quick as they could, and slammed an entire planet into her ethereal being made solid.

Pain beyond description, beyond even comprehension. Being torn from them stunned her, but for only a moment, only until she remembered she was already dead, that she didn’t fucking care what happened to her so long as they came down with her. 

She stared unflinchingly at them as they descended upon her, understanding little of what she saw but knowing it was her enemy and Sara Pauling Hamilton never let an enemy get the best of her. She didn’t fight their pull, didn’t try to get out of the way of the planet that collided into her with such force she was surprised she didn’t explode into a million tiny sparks. 

And then, she laughed. 

She laughed as she clung to the planet, sunk her fingers into it with single-minded focus. Laughed as she sought the core of their strength, whatever wretched and horrible energy kept them going in their twisted, inhuman way. It was the laughter of the mad, of someone with nothing to lose, the laughter of a person so done with everything that their plight seems, to them at least, impossibly funny. 

In that moment, staring down Sara, a laughing wreck with no self-preservation, Department 805 understood what she was doing. They’d seen it before.

“Jim. You’re just like Jim.”

And for a moment they let themselves realize they were well and truly fucked.

But only a moment, and then they were back to the self-assurance that characterized everything they did.

“Jim tried hard,” they said. Planets swirled faster than they should ever go, orbiting around Sara in a flurry as whole civilizations screamed, ducked, lost their minds. “He tried a whole lot fucking harder than you. And we fucked him up for good.” They drew power up through their roots, their anchors on the universe, a tiny bit of something-like-ichor spouting from the wound Sara had given them when she’d possessed them last time, caught them off guard, did they have this? Yes, they had this.

“Just by being here,” they continued, “you’re gonna be so much more fucked up than Jim. You went in there and fucked yourself up for us. You have friends, people you care about, do you know what you are now? Do you think there’s any way this ends well for you, for them?”

With a quick flip they inverted the entire universe, flung Sara around the confines of reality and snapped her right back into place like a paddleball, did it a few more times.

nospaceofregret:

She looked at their code, taking it all in, not just the sections they had brought to her attention. They wanted her to see how they worked? That was more than okay with her; once she knew how something worked, she knew how to dismantle it. Every weakness, every chink and crack in their defenses, laid out before her, if she only knew how to look. 

And in looking, she saw, then remembered, how she had hurt them before. They had escaped then, and been careful since, but there was nowhere here for them to go and they clearly weren’t expecting her to turn on them. 

“I see,” she said slowly, and looked at them, really looked at them, seeking the wound she’d inflicted. “I think I understand now.”

Something in 805 knew that something was wrong, knew without understanding.

“What are you so focused on?” That was how their doubt manifested itself.

And there is was: her entry point. Her whole being curled into something of a smile. “Understanding how you work, dears,” she replied cheerily. “I want to get this right.” 

“Oh, fuck that shit,” they said, disappointed in Sara, disappointed in themselves for failing to see this coming.

And as they prepared to strike back at her, to obliterate her treasonous ass once and for all, the full force of her possession attempt struck them and reverberated throughout their unshakable skeleton of worlds. The pain was beyond description.

“Lis...” They whimpered, and straightened themselves out, still holding Sara in their needle-like grasp, a messy but firm grip, like damaged velcro barely hanging on but pretty much doing the job. “LISTEN. We’ve given you EVERY fucking chance. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.”

Yes... this was them. This was 805. They were doing to make it out of this.

“You have never understood what you were dealing with.” They ripped her hold out from their cosmic being, tearing her possession attempt, the event of it ever happening, out of time and space like a stinger stuck in skin. The way you’re not supposed to do with an arrow, but they were too enraged, too imperfect to care. Department 805 spat Sara out into the middle of the pocket universe, their pocket universe, and closed in on her, a great big smile of planets and pain sprinkled across her field of view.

“Just because you got rid of a little bit of that material shit inside of you, you think you’re better than us. That you get this. That you get to push us around.” They laughed, a cold, triumphant, throaty laugh. “No. No, you’re gonna get it.”

nospaceofregret:

When she’d finished with fear, she passed over the rest of her humanity to zero in on everything pertaining to her existence as a ghost. She perused that section of code, for the first time understanding how her afterlife worked but beyond caring. Again she descended, tearing pieces out as she howled in agony, until she felt something shift. 

Her hold on her anchors, however tenuous it might be in this place, eased. She still had them, but she was no longer sapping them of their life force to fuel her own rage. Through the haze of pain, she felt a lightness flow through her, followed by a solidity she’d never known. Encouraged, she kept going, until she was confident nothing else stood in the way. 

“You know,” she remarked, grinning with her whole being. “I feel so much better already.”

“Wonderful.” Somewhere in the array of 805′s being, several hundred prisoners were tossed into a pit full of something like snakes. Acid melted flesh and guttural screams were drowned out by the music of the spheres, which, in this place, might be categorized as harsh noise.

“Now you might want to take a look at how we operate.” They highlighted a few sections of their own code. “If you augment yourself like this, the way you think will change. You might not even really be thinking anymore. But you will have power - no, you will be power - beyond anything you can imagine, even in this heightened state.” Their words dripped with excitement, the kind of physical want that a car has to roll down a hill it’s on top of. Potential energy, impersonal, but excited nonetheless.

She looked at their code, taking it all in, not just the sections they had brought to her attention. They wanted her to see how they worked? That was more than okay with her; once she knew how something worked, she knew how to dismantle it. Every weakness, every chink and crack in their defenses, laid out before her, if she only knew how to look. 

And in looking, she saw, then remembered, how she had hurt them before. They had escaped then, and been careful since, but there was nowhere here for them to go and they clearly weren’t expecting her to turn on them. 

nospaceofregret:

“Okay.” Her thoughts spun furiously as she scoured everything that made up her Self. What to carve away first, to ensure her victory here? She found herself hesitating, and so found her hesitation, that quiet, second-guessing uncertainty, and ruthlessly tore it away. 

The feeling of cutting out part of herself was an exquisite agony, fire and ice simultaneously searing her soul nearly senseless. But as the moment passed, clarity descended upon her and she knew what she must do. 

Fear came next. Fear of pain, of the future, of the consequences of her actions. Fear only held her back, stood in her way, and as she ripped it away she only grew more and more determined to see this through to the bitter end. 

From all around 805 watched, took in without understanding. They were not made for understanding, the way a fish isn’t made for space travel. That was just not something they needed to develop.

But the part of them that communicated, that imitated what a human mind would consider understanding, waited for Sara to finish, seeing her pain and grasping the explanation for her pain but not understanding it. Pain meant nothing to them - that’s what they told themselves, anyway.

When she’d finished with fear, she passed over the rest of her humanity to zero in on everything pertaining to her existence as a ghost. She perused that section of code, for the first time understanding how her afterlife worked but beyond caring. Again she descended, tearing pieces out as she howled in agony, until she felt something shift. 

Her hold on her anchors, however tenuous it might be in this place, eased. She still had them, but she was no longer sapping them of their life force to fuel her own rage. Through the haze of pain, she felt a lightness flow through her, followed by a solidity she’d never known. Encouraged, she kept going, until she was confident nothing else stood in the way.