the stationery sorcerer

Marina stared at her phone on her lap, waiting for any sign of life from Joaquin. When getting home from work at the middle school, she received an alert on her phone about a fight in Celestial Island. She instantly recognized Joaquin flying in the sky when she pulled up the tv news. Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the plane take Joaquin down. 

They had met years ago through her twin brother. Joaquin had been stationed at the base a few miles from her hometown in northern San Diego and befriended her brother, Armando. Whenever they had free time from training, they would visit her parent’s house to eat home cooked meals her mom made. 

Marina had always had a crush on Joaquin for as long as she’d known him. At first it had been that cliché, brother's friend type of crush. But as the years went by, her feelings grew stronger. Joaquin made her feel seen even if he was just asking about whatever study guide she was developing for her biology 204 lecture. He was unbelievably handsome. Except it was much more than that. He was the kind of smart that came with quick wit but never at the expense of others. Joaquin readily helped wherever he could, no grumbling or questions asked.

Jaoquin had been the one to break the news to her and her parents when her brother died in the line of duty. He would check in here and there, but he was eventually transferred elsewhere. Then the Blip happened. Marina and her family were fortunate to not disappear. Joaquin found them, and stayed in contact more frequently. She was able to finish her degree and moved to Philadelphia to attend Penn for grad school where she got her masters and teaching degree. Now she worked at a middle school teaching science in Philly. 

She and Joaquin stayed friends even with the distance. Now that he worked in DC with Sam, they saw each other more. She would sometimes visit him in DC or he'd fly over in his suit to Philly. 

“Babe, you have to eat something,” Marina's best friend, Syd, told her gently, sitting next to hon the couch.

“I'm fine.” Marina waved her off. 

“You've been on this couch for almost a week. The only thing you do is get up to drink coffee and shower, which I appreciate because you're not stinking up the place. But you have to eat or I'll get my daddy Wilson to make you eat,.” Syd threatened.

“You need to stop saying Sam Wilson is your dad because you both have the same last name.” Marina said, amused. 

Sydney pulled her microbraids into a loose braid. “He can be. My mother got around.” 

A loud knock came from the front door of their apartment. Sydney and Marina shared the same confused look. Their apartment wasn't in the most sketchy part of town, but it also wasn't on the rich side; they didn't have a fancy doorman. In fact their building had a few run-ins with the police. Marina got up and went to answer the door. It was Sam, dressed in a suit made more severe with his somber expression.

Marina went back to when Joaquin showed up at her parents’ home to tell them about her brother. Her eyes filled with tears. 

“No,” she shook her head as her tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh shit,” Sam cursed, “this looks bad. He's okay, the surgeries went well. Joaquin woke up a few hours ago. His phone fell in the water when he also… went down. He said your name a few times in his sleep, so I looked you up and got your address off the database. If you want, I can take you to see him.”

Marina felt she could breathe again, scrubbing the errant tears off her face.  “So he's okay like forreal?” Marina asked him. 

“He's a fighter and seeing you would help a lot,” Sam said. 

“Me?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “How?”

“Is she really that oblivious?” Sam asked Syd, who was lurking behind Marina.

Sydney shook her head, laughing. “Just like Joaquin.”

Marina frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

*

Joaquin stirred awake. His eyes landed on the tray with the jello and pb&j sandwich the nurse dropped off the last time he was awake. His stomach growled. He was starving, but everything at the hospital was so bland and unappealing to him. He was counting down on the days so he could go home. He still had some frozen birria Marina made for him back at his apartment. 

Whenever she would visit, she'd make him food for him to freeze and eat when he was too busy to make food for himself. He softly smiled, thinking about him and Marina in his kitchen. She would have him do easy things like smash some garlic cloves, stir the rice while it fried in the oil, or pick the bad beans and other miscellaneous things out of  the frijoles before she washed and cooked them. They would make some terribly tasting cocktail with tequila or whatever Joaquin had and just talk. While they waited for their food, Marina would prop herself on the counter while he cleaned up. She would tell him about an upcoming field trip her class was taking or he'd tell her, in vague details, about his latest mission. After cooking, they'd migrate to his living room and watch a movie. They eventually dozed off and more often than not, they'd wake to Joaquin holding her to his chest so she wouldn’t roll off the couch. 

After her first year of college, Joaquin saw Marina in a different light. Before that she used to just be Armando's little sister. She was technically born first, but her brother treated her like she was the baby of the family. Now she was the personification of home for Joaquin. If he was homesick, Marina was the first person he called. He would replay her random voice notes she would send him of her day. When he was with her, he was just a normal guy, no added pressure of being Captain Torres or the Falcon. With her, everything made sense. He never acted on any of his feelings because of Armando. Her brother had taken him in and given him a second family when his own family was far away. When Armando passed, things changed between him and Marina. Joaquin distanced himself but checked in on her and her family on occasion. Then the Blip happened and it was like they were all the other had. 

Joaquin slowly sat up and grabbed his new phone off the table. Sam had come by and dropped it off the evening before. There were messages from everyone and anyone. The only ones he cared about were from Marina. He went to their text thread. The last thing he sent her was a vague message of his mission to Celestial Island. She had sent him several asking if he was alive or to whoever had his phone to let her know if he was alive. He scratched his unshaved jaw, wondering what to send her. After a few seconds of pondering, he sent her ‘I'm not dead.’ Three bubbles appeared then they disappeared then they reappeared until ultimately disappearing. 

Sam knocked the door as he opened it. “Hey, man.” 

“Sam, hey.” Joaquin's smile fell slightly. “Did the doctor say something? Am I not in the clear?”

“You're doing good. I just came to drop someone off for you,” he said with his ever-present smirk. Sam stepped aside to reveal Marina. She had a tote in one shoulder and a plastic bag in the other hand  

Marina slowly entered his room, placing her things on the table before rushing to hug him. Joaquin winced in pain, but when she tried to pull away, he hugged her tighter. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. 

She smelled like home. 

“I'll leave you two.” Sam waved goodbye.

Joaquin finally pulled away. He reached for the remote and adjusted the bed so he was sitting. Marina was going to take a seat beside him but Joaquin gently grabbed her hip, sitting her beside him on the bed. He kept his hand on her waist, dangerously close to her ass. 

“So you're not dead,” Marina said, finally breaking their awkward silence.

“No, just a few bumps and bruises.” Joaquin confirmed.

“And your heart stopped once when you were medevac'ed and then again during surgery.” She deadpanned. 

“Those are irrelevant minor details,” he shrugged it off. 

“No, it's not. You could've di–” 

“But I didn't.” He cut her off. 

“I know, you didn't, but you could have. The thought of never seeing you again scared me.” Marina sniffed, “I don't want to lose you too.” 

Joaquin reached up and wiped the few stray tears off her cheeks. “It scared me too. You're a good friend and you mean a lot to me, Marina. I don't want to lose what we have.” 

‘Friend’ echoed in her ears. Obviously he only saw her as his deceased friend's twin sister that he only kept around because of survivor's remorse or whatever it was called. There was no other explanation. 

Marina cleared her throat and pulled the table closer to him. “Um, I brought you birria because I know you hate hospital food. But fair warning, it was thrown together in the Instant Pot because Sam only gave me a few hours to get my things. Also the bodega ran out of tortillas, so I made them by hand and a few came out in questionable shapes.”

Joaquin smiled. “Marina, you spoil me.” 

She shrugged. “It's the least I can do since you helped save the world or whatever.”

***

Joaquin thanked the driver Sam assigned to him and entered his apartment building. He scanned his keycard at the elevator for the doors to slide open. He pressed the button for his floor. It was a silent ride up. He looked at himself in the mirror walls, brushing his fingers through his hair to get a perfect effortlessly disheveled look. 

Marina was in his apartment. She flew in that morning and spent most of the day with his mom in the kitchen before he had to drive his mom to the airport.. His mom had been staying with him since he was discharged from the hospital. Marina stayed for a few days before going back to Philly to finish off the school year. Now that school was on summer break, Marina flew out to visit him.

“Hey,” he called out as he tossed his keys on the table by the front door.

“Kitchen!” She yelled back.

He gave his hair one more fluff looking at his reflection in the mirror mounted on the wall. He walked down the hall to the kitchen. Marina was behind the counter in his University of Miami hoodie, writing on a strip of masking tape. She capped the sharpie marker then evenly cut the piece of tape and put it on top of the lid of the food filled container. She  had stayed behind instead of seeing his mom off so she could finish cleaning and organizing all the food his mom prepped for him. Joaquin lost one of her good Tupperware containers and now he had to use the chafita ones. She put the labeled container on top of another one and grabbed an unlabeled container, repeating the process. Every so often, she would check her phone, think, then continue labeling. 

“Waiting on a text from Syd?” Joaquin asked after the fifth time she checked her phone. 

“No, um, Sam gave me a voucher for a hotel while I visit you, and I'm just making sure I can leave soon, so I can still make the check-in window.” She said, twisting in her seat so her back would crack. 

“You're not staying here?” He frowned. 

“No, I thought your mom was staying longer, so I cashed in the voucher.” Marina shrugged. 

“My mom got up early to make sure the sheets in the guest room where she was staying were washed. I assumed you were going to stay here.” He said. 

“Why would you assume?” She made a face. 

“Because you always stay at my place? When have you not stayed with me when you're in DC?” He asked. 

“When you were dating Darcy.” 

“Dahliah.” He corrected her, “but that was like a million years ago? Before and after that, you always stayed with me. Even when you visited Miami with me.” 

When she was deciding on grad schools, she applied to the University of Miami. Joaquin insisted on going with her while she toured the campus. She even stayed with his family. They awkwardly laughed when his grandma told his mom to get with the times and let the ‘couple’ share a bed. Joaquin explained, for the millionth time, that he and Marina were just friends. He found a sleeping bag in the garage and laid it out for the night on the floor of the room. Marina felt bad and made him get in bed with her. That’s how she found out he was a cuddler with wandering hands when he slept. He pulled her to his chest and buried his face in the crook of her neck. Those few days Marina slept blissfully in his arms, hoping that one day it would become her reality. 

“Do you want me to stay?” She asked him. 

“Obvio.” He scoffed. He took her carry-on and rolled it to the guestroom. 

“You're not supposed to carry anything in your condition.” Marina smacked his hand from the handle before he could lift the small suitcase.

“My doctor gave me the all clear.” He argued. 

“Me vale.” 

“You're worse than my mom.” Joaquin rolled his eyes. 

“You know what, I'm going to call her.” She pulled her phone out of hoodie pocket. 

“Her flight already took off, She's already in the sky.” He said, smugly. 

“I'll send her a voice note on whatsapp. You know she pays extra for the wifi, so she can watch la novela.” 

Joaquin snatched her phone and lifted it up. Marina was a few inches shorter than him, but she still had to jump to try to reach it. She stumbled when she tried jumping and sent her and Joaquin toppling over. Luckily the bed was there. Marina landed in his lap, straddling. She balanced herself by anchoring her hand in his chest. She leaned forward and tried to reach for her phone. They both giggled. Then it got quiet, save for the busy street outside. Their faces were merely inches away from each other. Joaquin's eyes flickered to her soft lips, then back to her eyes. Marina cradled his cheek, gently running her over one of his many scrapes. A loud honk followed by a prolonged honk, snapped them back to reality. Marina rolled off him and Joaquin stood up from the bed. 

He placed her phone on the bed and cleared his throat, “I'll let you get settled.” 

“Yeah, I think I'm going to shower and nap for a bit. I'm a little jetlagged.” She yawned. 

“Your flight was less than two hours, how can you be jetlagged?” He laughed. 

“Shut up.” 

“After your nap, do you want to go out and get dinner or order in and watch something?” Joaquin asked. 

“Ooh, can we get pizza from the place that does meat lovers with pineapple?” She suggested.

“Whatever you want. Sweet dreams.” He said as he closed the door. 

‘Sweet dreams?’ He smacked himself in the forehead. That was fucking corny as hell. He silently cursed at whoever honked. He quite literally had Marina right where he wanted. He moved too slow and let his one chance get away from him. 

In all the years that he's known her, he was never sure if she felt the same way that he felt about her. But when she was on his lap and their eyes met, something shifted between them and it confirmed that she did feel the same way. Joaquin knew que se tiene que poner las pilas and needed to finally tell Marina how he felt about her. 

*

“Joaquin, look me in the eyes and tell me you really don't believe that.” Marina pressed herself closer to his face. 

They were in his bed. The TV in the living room was glitchy and it couldn't play Netflix, so they went to his room. They made a makeshift picnic on his bed. Marina stumbled on some show about high school kids in LA and swore that the twin brother of one of the main characters looked like him. 

“That's how you looked when you were training. Hair cut y todo.” Marina argued as they cleaned up their little set up. 

“Okay sure. If you think that guy is as good looking as me, then fine I'll admit he kinda looks like me.” He grinned. 

Marina laughed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I never said you were good looking.”

Joaquin knew that laugh. It was her ‘playing it off laugh’. It sounded more as if a scoff and a chuckle had a baby. Sometimes she would follow it with a sarcastic ‘ha, ha, ha’, other times she pretended like she heard what she wanted and changed the subject. 

They went back to his room, but didn't resume the episode. Joaquin laid on his side while Marina was on her back. They caught each other on what happened the last two weeks since they saw each other. Joaquin told her about all the progress he made at the physical therapy sessions while she filled him in on Syd and her coworker. 

“It's so obvious that he likes her, but she's so fucking oblivious.” Marina rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah,” Joaquin nodded, half listening. 

His eyes trailed her body. She changed into a white dress with blue floral designs when they went to get their pizza. Her dress had a slit starting half way from her thigh. It had a loose bow tied, showing him the lack of bra she had. 

Eventually Marina sat on her side facing Joaquin. She threw her neck back, cackling at how Isaiah was helping him with his physical therapy, and how he was putting him through the ringer. His fingertips mindlessly traced up and down her exposed thigh as they talked. The conversation focused on her, letting Joaquin take her presence in. 

“What?” Marina laughed nervously. 

“Huh?” He furrowed his eyebrows. 

“You've been staring at me without saying any–”

Joaquin leaned and kissed her. It was a plain peck on the lips. He slowly pulled back but he felt Marina's hand gently cradled his cheek and pulled him back to her lips. Joaquin ended up taking over. He pressed himself onto her. His hands were everywhere, trying to memorize Marina with his hands. One of them slipped in her dress, grabbing her thigh and bringing it over his waist. Their hips slowly rubbing against one another. 

Marina whimpered when Joaquin's lips left hers and descended down her jaw. He nipped and sucked her neck, laying her on her as he got on top of her. He tugged the bow, removing the ribbon off the eyelets. He sat up and shrugged off his shirt then climbed over her, kissing her lips. 

The skirt of Marina's dress was bunched up around her hips. She opened her legs so Joaquin could fit better. He kissed the crook of her neck as he slowly rolled his hips against hers, making her a whimpering mess. Without breaking their kiss, Marina brought her hands to his chest and used all her strength to push Joaquin onto his back. He let out a quiet ‘oof', but didn't show any signs of discomfort or pain. 

His eyes took in Marina. The straps of her dress had fallen off her shoulders, leaving her chest exposed. The slit on her dress showed off her toned legs and gave Joaquin a peek of her midnight blue lace panties. He has had an embarrassing amount of scenarios of him and Marina in this exact position with his left hand. He laid motionless, afraid that with any sudden movements Marina would disappear out thin air and he'd be left with his left hand. He wanted this for so long.

It wasn't even about the sex. It was the connection between him and Marina. They both, subconsciously, knew that what they had went beyond friendship. They sought each other in other people, never fully feeling fulfilled. There was always something missing, and when they saw each other they felt that missing bit. 

Marina leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. She sat up and pulled her dress off, tossing haphazardly it behind her. Joaquin was sure he was going to bust with just her straddling his lap in just her panties. 

“No mames.” Joaquin groaned, covering his eyes with his arm. 

“What?” She laughed nervously. 

“You're fucking perfect.” he said, trying to sit up. 

Marina pressed his chest down, keeping him in place. She leaned down and kissed him. “Let me take care of you.” She gently held his cheek. “You deserve it after everything. Yeah?” 

“Yeah, whatever you say Mar.” he agreed almost too instantly. 

“Why do I feel a ‘but’ coming?” 

“But let me touch your butt before you have me coming.” He joked. 

“Pinche cursi.” She rolled her eyes, sitting back for him. 

His hands were all over her. They started on her thighs, slowly making their way to her ass where he roughly kneaded her ass and guided her hips against the growing tent on his sweatpants for some sort of relief. Joaquin let out a quiet ‘fuck, baby’, making Marina moan. Joaquin's hands slid up Marina's sides then to her breasts. Before he could properly touch her, Marina flattened her hands on top of his.

“These aren't my butt, they're my chichis. You insisted on touching my butt.” She smiled matter of factly. 

“You're such a smart-ass.” He teased her, lifting his hands in surrender. 

“Just pointing out the technicalities.” She shrugged. 

Marina pushed her hair over her shoulders then placed kisses down Joaquin’s body. She reached the waistband of his sweatpants and looked up to meet his eyes. She kept his gaze as she tugged his sweatpants down. His cock sprung out, standing proudly waiting for her. It was bigger than Marina anticipated. She felt it pressed up on her ass when she and Joaquin roomed together in his room, but she never imagined it was like this. She slipped one of hands between her thighs, collecting some of her arousal. She was about to wrap her hand around his length when Joaquin grabbed her wrist, bringing her hand to his mouth. 

“Dame una probadita.” He said, slipping her ring and middle fingers in his mouth. 

“Joaquin!” She giggled nervously, tugging her hand back. 

“What?” He smirked.

“Nada.” She dramatically rolled her eyes. 

She didn't wait for a response. Marina settled in between his thighs. She leaned against one of thighs and reached for his cock. She gave him a few gentle tugs, so her hand could familiarize with his width. She brought her mouth down and spit on his tip. She swirled her tongue around it then spit on it, slowly stroking him. Then she finally took him in her mouth, taking him as far as she could. 

Joaquin let out an incoherent groan when he felt himself deep in her mouth. She squeezed the base and slid her hand up guiding her mouth up then took him deep once more. She did that a few more times, earning more incoherent praises from him. She pulled away, with a trail of saliva spilling from the corners of her mouth, and kissed down his length. Marina slowly bobbed her head up and down his length, getting her mouth used to him. She took him a little deeper each time. 

One of his hands gripped the back of her head, keeping her in place as he thrusted into her mouth. Marina let out soft moans. Joaquin gathered her curls in his hand to get a better view of Marina. She took him a little deeper each time. Marina’s eyes never left Joaquin’s brown ones as she took him deeper in her mouth. He tightly gripped the comforter. His stomach began to contract, letting Marina know that he was close. Slowly, she pulled him out of her mouth until only his tip rested on her tongue. 

“‘Perate,” Joaquin said, gently pulling her off his length. 

“What?” she asked nervously. 

She was giving him bad head and he was going to book her a flight back to Philly and never speak to her again. 

“I want to finish in you.” He said. 

“Oh.” She nodded then let out a flustered laugh. “Sorry, I thought you were going to say I was doing a shit job.” 

“Trust me, this was some of the best head I've received– not that I'm constantly getting some. But you know… from previous times, they don't compare to you and…” 

“Joaquin,” Marina said as she straddled on his lap.

“Yeah?” 

“Shut up.” 

She leaned down and claimed his lips. Joaquin cupped her cheek with one hand and the other held onto her ass while Marina balanced herself on his chest, making sure she wasn't putting too much weight on him. She pulled away and awkwardly rolled to her side. She clumsily tugged her panties off then got back on his lap. She reached between them and slowly stroked Joaquin. 

Then she lifted her hips, lining herself over his cock. She slowly slid all the way down his length. She moaned out at how full she felt with Joaquin inside her. She rocked her hips against him, getting used to him. She slowly bounced herself up and down while continuing to rock her hips against his. He sat up and brought her closer to him. Marina’s arms tightened around his neck. Joaquin bucked his hips upwards to meet her thrusts and she let out a soft moan. 

“Ay,” she sighed. 

Her orgasm came out of nowhere. She clung to Joaquin as she continued to ride him. He still kept thrusting into her through her orgasm. But he slowed down, letting her come back from orgasm. He laid her down on the bed and wrapped one of her legs over his waist, continuing where they left off.

Marina never experienced this with anyone. There was something different about Joaquin. He was being gentle with her but not in the way that he was being careful to not re-injure himself or that he couldn't do anything too extraneous. It was more like he was putting all his feelings he had for her into each thrust. They were powerful and made her feel full. Joaquin must have noticed, and continued thrusting in that spot. The familiar feeling came over her once more. Marina was close. His thrusts got more precise, hitting her deep where she needed him the most.

Marina dug her nails into his arm, clinging onto him as her orgasm took over her body. Joaquin chased his own. He shifted his hips as he thrusted into her. He buried his face in her neck, kissing her sweet spot. She quietly whimpered his name, lazily meeting his thrusts. Joaquin’s orgasm followed soon after. He cried her name and pushed himself deep inside Marina, spilling every last drop in her. He relaxed his body plopping on top of her. Their heavy breathing filled the room as they tried to calm themselves. 

“Joaquin, what did we do?” Marina asked, looking at the ceiling. 

Her mind was clear. While they had sex it was clouded by the fact that she was finally going to be with him. She went along with it, mainly because she wanted to, but also because it seemed like it was her once chance and she didn't want to let slip through her fingers. She never fully thought of the consequences of being with Joaquin and what could happen to their friendship. 

“What?” He frowned.

She sat up and covered her chest. “Is this going to be a one night stand? Or because I'm here and you don't want to seek someone else? Or are you doing this out of pity because of Armando?” 

Joaquin frowned, pushing himself up. “What are you going on about?”

“I don't think I can just be a fling?” She said quietly. “I get that you kept me around because you feel guilty that Armando is gone. I really like you, but I would rather be just your friend and not complicate things with us hooking up.”

“Where did all that come from? I thought it was pretty obvious how I feel about you, Marina.” he said. She gave him a blank stare, unaware. He laughed to himself. “Marina, please tell me you're joking.”

All she did was furrow her eyebrows in confusion. 

“Mirame,” he said, nudging her, so she could look him in the eyes, “I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you for years. I never kept you around because of Armando. He was a great friend and I'm lucky to have met him because if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be in my life, Marina. You mean the whole multiverse to me and there's no one else I want to be with.” 

“Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying.” She laughed, wiping a few stray tears off her cheeks. “I guess I feel the same or whatever.”

“Damn, you love me too.” He grinned. 

“Don't remind me.” She rolled her eyes. 

He gave her a soft kiss. “I love you, Marina.” 

“I love you too.” She smiled. 

He patted her thigh. “Now go pee because we have at least five years of catching up to do.”