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Let these in. Change your relationship to these things. If you hate that you hate or desire to have no desires, your stuck. A dog chasing its own tail. Round and round, and that energy buries you.

Feel and allow yourself to hate, allow yourself to desire. Look into these things, feel these things. This is mindfulness, to be brave and look, to be brave and feel. It is that bravery that is at the heart of mindfulness, without that it is just an idea and has no hooks into you. You can wait all you want, but just as a fisherman with no lure tries to catch fish, a practitioner of mindfulness is just dangling a loose line without courage. So, seek out your inner courage, that lion that lies within you and knows your strong, knowd that you can feel, that you can make peace with this hate by feeling it and letting it in. Letting it’s voice speak to you. That voice of hate comes from a deep part of you that was hurt and had no control.

None of that was your fault or under your control, when you’re too young or too little to have control, things control you, and that hate screams for control, that part needs control and now it has control over you, but going into that voice and seeing where it truly comes from will shift things and feeling is the tip of that iceberg. And mindfulness is a good starting point to dive into that iceberg.

Be patient with all these things, be patient with your anger and with your desires. Be brave enough to be patient with all of this.

This will all unfold naturally, if you’re brave, bold and patient with all of this, it wants to lead you to better things, feel and allow it to. It will lead you to the compassion and Love you seek. It is the key, it has what you seek hidden, that is the paradox: Ultimately hate is Love.

Take care and I hope this helps,

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“The chrysanthemum sill holds the throne as Queen of the Autumn flowers.” J. Roscoe Fuller & Company Garden Annual. 1901.