PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe

romaâ
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
đŞź
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom

$LAYYYTER

cherry valley forever

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@thesmalllestbean

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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accepting paypal donations as valentines gifts
me: imma hoe
me: *is scared to talk to boys*
me: *has literally never dated anyone*
me: Thot af
Me @ 17: I may be graduating high school now but Iâm not gonna lose track of what teens are doing! Iâm gonna be a cool and relevant adult just you watch me!
Me now, 21: *sips tea and looks at my tablet over reading glasses like itâs a morning newspaper* *leans forward and squints* *yells into the next room with an accent like a jaded New Yorker grandma in a sitcom* GEORGE, WHATâS A VIBE CHECK?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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âTrick or Yeet!â I shout to the children when I open the door. âYeet?â one says confusidly. I shrug. âYeet it is.â I throw the child.
Not Halloween but, okay.Â
okay you stick of unsalted butter i made this on halloween but everyone just likes to reblog it for some reason
Remember when Rhodey was saying that the things that Clint had done were so violent and gruesome that even he didn't know if he'd be able to not kick Clint's ass when he sees him again? And then remember when Clint came back and everyone was just chill with it? Yeah, I HATED THAT. Why was Clint just so happily welcomed back after going on a killing spree (even if they were criminals) and yet everyone hated Bucky when he had no choice to do what he did???
Donât get me started oh my god. That plotline shouldâve been scrapped. Have Clint be out in hiding somewhere if you need him to be MIA. But the way they framed it, that the murders werenât as bad because they were poc gang members and cartels was such bullshit. Maybe if it been explored more in-depth, with the repercussions and psychological effects it would make more sense. But having no one mention it again, AND then having Nat sacrifice herself and Clint go back to his family like nothing happened?...yeah, it was messed up. Clint is such a great character in the comics and I really wish the mcu had done better.
me: *carries cat out of my room for being naughty*
cat: *purrs*
me: you are being punished. Please do not purr. I love you
im DONOT care if the birbs are not here yet THEY WILL BE and i MUST yelle
Me driving: @pedestrians ugh get out the street why would you walk in front of a moving car
Me as a pedestrian: hit me bitch i dare you hit me I want you to pay my tuition

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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âYour mental illness is all in your headâ where did you think it was????? my ass????
Mental illness is stored in the balls
âmental illness is the powerhouse of the cell
are you a dog? no ? goodbye
paint me like of your french bulldogs
infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her âi diagnose you with babyâ and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like iâd just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went âitâs true! youâre just babyâ and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, âABABABABABAAAAAâ and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt
i want to be a cat. jobless. educationless. useless. there to be pretty and soft

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Twilight may be trash but at least they cast actual native americans to play natives
The Twilight franchise was basically a great cast all trapped in hell together
I was walking behind a woman for five minutes and she got catcalled three times.
I usually walk everywhere with my headphones on, but I had them in my bag and I was reading a book on my phone instead (I do that when the foot traffic is light). Â A young Latina was coming down the street as I was coming up the avenue, and when she got to the corner a few paces ahead of me, she turned to walk in the direction I was going. Â We were traveling at the same speed, but since she was like ten paces ahead and itâs bright outside in the middle of the day, I didnât feel the need to fall back or slow down to give her more space. At night, I try not to walk too close behind women just so they donât feel like Iâm any sort of threat.
We got to a corner and this dude standing outside of the bodega was like, âSlow down mama where you goin? You donât have to work today, you can stop and speak.â
She didnât break her stride. âIâm going to the gym.â Â The Walk sign was on, so I didnât break mine either. Â
A block later, a young guy was coming toward us on the sidewalk riding his bike.
âWhatâs good shorty?â
She didnât respond.
âWell you was lookin, you can say something, stuck up bitch.â
We kept walking.
In the middle of the next block, an older man was walking toward us and he put on a friendly smile and said, âSmile young lady, itâs a beautiful day.â
I donât know if she smiled, but we kept walking. She went into the gym and I kept on toward where I was going thinking about how that was just five minutes of her day. Â How many other blocks of five minutes are just like that? Â
Only one of them was truly aggressive. The other two guys seemed nice enough and it felt more like a pleasant compliment. It felt like the kind of thing a guy says who argues with women online about catcalling. âWeâre not all bad guys. We canât even compliment women? We canât even say something nice?â
No. Â You really canât. Â I was annoyed in that five minutes and I just happened to be walking behind her with no headphones on. Â Can you imagine those five minutes over and over every day of your life? Â Nobody wants to be spoken to by strangers day in and day out forever regardless of what theyâre saying. Â
So no. Â You canât say anything. The quality of your life has not decreased because you arenât allowed to say nice things to strange women on the sidewalk, but your silence greatly increases the quality of hers. Â So just be quiet, and let her go where sheâs going.
The quality of your life has not decreased because you arenât allowed to say nice things to strange women on the sidewalk, but your silence greatly increases the quality of hers. Â So just be quiet, and let her go where sheâs going.
The quality of your life has not decreased because you arenât allowed to say nice things to strange women on the sidewalk, but your silence greatly increases the quality of hers. Â So just be quiet, and let her go where sheâs going.