The Sloth Boy

“You should definitely not ask, because that’s not exactly how things go,” Lena started, “As to whether you’re her type or not…I mean, stranger things have happened right? I’m sure someone out there finds you absolutely the most attractive thing they’ve ever encountered and I hope you find that person someday. Which leads to the fact that you’ve been perpetually single your entire life, so like, no. I don’t need help finding a date….but thank you.”

Lena just sighed, resigned to the fact that this was her life now. She’d come to town looking for a brother, and would up with son. “I’ll make some calls. In the meantime, what are we doing for dinner, I’m starving?”

“It isn’t? You don’t want me to be your wingman? I think I’d be an amazing wingman for you, Lena. Not that you really need me to be because I bet you can already get any date you want, but I’m just saying, if you want a wingman, I’m totally here for you! Mhm! But like seriously, if you want me to talk to Professor Wren for you, I would toooootally be down to connect you too.” Kiyan grinned, not even once fazed by the fact that he had not been on a date ever himself. “I have you guys. I mean, sure Erin’s got Little Sky now but she’s still got time for. I can find new friends to hang out with too if you ever decide that you want to spend time with someone else. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.” 

The younger Khalaji stopped talking for once when dinner was brought up. “Um.. pizza? We can do that split pizza thing they do if you don’t want the same thing as me.”

Lena continued to look through her paperwork, working to find someone in her contacts that may be able to help as her brother went on and on. She had learned early on that it was far smoother sailing if she just let him get things out of his system then it ever would be to try and stop him so she could speak herself. She glanced up at his suggestion that she and this other woman meet. “Is she single?”

She couldn’t help but laugh along with him, though more so at the fact she already knew that therapy was likely not going to be as fun as he thought, but she’d let him have it for now. “Woohoo!”

“I’m not sure? I didn’t ask. I could ask but then I think she’ll say something like that it’s not my business.. Or that I’m not her type.. Oh! Maybe I’m her type? Would she think I’m asking her out? I’m not.. I mean, I wouldn’t mind because she’s really, really pretty, you should definitely meet her, Lena! I hope she doesn’t think I’m coming onto her if I ask..  I don’t know, should I ask?” He paused, “Do you need help finding a date?”

Kiyan grinned, “Let me know when we’re going, I’ll free my schedule for it!”

“You think everyone is cool,” she pointed, but refrained from adding that compared to him…most people were. Kiyan was a lot of things, she’d come to learn, but of all the adjectives she’d ever use to describe her baby brother….’cool’ was not one of them. “Okay, see. That’s what I mean. There’s a massive difference between gossiping about someone and just talking about them to describe them to another person. You just need to learn to slow your mouth down so the right version makes it out,” she pointed out.

Realizing this therapy idea wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, Lena just sighed and said, “Yeah, sure I’ll go with you. It’s called family therapy. I’m sure we could both benefit…” she trailed off as she began to look through some papers, but stopped and looked at him, “How certain are you that you can refrain from brining up the fact we’re part sloth- Actually, don’t answer that. I’ll just look for a super therapist.”

“And everyone is cool! So far everyone I’ve met is cool.” He clarified as if that would help anything. “This town is just filled with nice people, how could I not think they’re cool.” Kiyan’s smile faltered slightly as he thought about it. “So I’m not gossiping because I’m .. just describing her? Okay. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. But do you know who she is? Have you met her? You really got to when you get the chance. She’s really awesome to talk to and really, really chill. Come visit the school! I’ll totally introduce you to her.”

He jogged up to his sister to wrap his arms around her, “Yesssssss. Family. Therapy. Time! This is going to be so much fun!” 

Lena listened to what her brother had to say -not that he ever really gave her much of a choice- and the more he spoke, the more she began to question things. “Yeah….I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this is another case of you doing that thing we’ve talked about before, you know, missing the entire freaking point,” she said. “No one gets sent to therapy for being a gossip, and something tells me that wasn’t what this person was trying to have you get out of the conversation.”

“Okay, so no that was totally not it but like, she did point that out so I think it’s also part of it.” Kiyan shrugged, “You should really go meet her, Lena, she’s really cool!” His eyes widened, “Oh, I was going to talk about her... which I said I would stop.. So I’m going to stop. Yup. I will stop. Mhmmm. Yep. So Therapy! Do you know how to find a good therapist? I don’t really know what we’ll be talking about though but if they’re nice, that’d be great. Oh! Do you want to go with me? Is it a group thing? Can it be a group thing?”

She knew what was incoming just from the sound of the door alone. Her brother had a very distinct way of entering their now shared home. By the time he’d made his way to where she sat at her mini-home office, Lena had already braced herself. Her brows furrowed slightly at this announcement before saying, “Yeah, I’ve been saying that since we met. Why are you so amped about it now?”

“I was talking with someone at the school, and we totally got into talking about therapy and it really seemed pretty cool. Now I totally want to try it out now. Apparently I’m like.. a gossiper.. so to stop being one, I should stop talking about other people no matter what people will ask me.” 

“Where are y- Oh! There you are!” He stopped in front of Lena with a giant on his face. “I need therapy!”

@ivmwc​

“I think that whether you realize it or not, you’re being intentionally obtuse about the entire matter,” Ripley chuckled. “There’s a very real, and necessary, distinction between someone you speak with as a friend and/or colleague, and someone who you speak with as a mental health professional. If you’ve managed to land a job here, I know you’re at least smart enough to understand that much. So wanting to blur the line really just seems like trying to find any way possible to paint therapy as something redundant, unnecessary, or even useless. Which, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, I personally find a tad bit offensive. But now, I don’t really think there was a true intention to offend, so much as distance yourself from the subject…..but what do I know, right.” She threw him a wink before returning to sit behind her desk.

Kiyan raised his hands, palms facing the other in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I shall say no more.” He even took a few steps back, “No, no! What do I know is more like it. You’re the professional after all. I don’t even - I’m sorry for all that I’ve said. I’m - yep - mhm.” He agreed with everything the other was saying, and so he did what the other suggested - distance from the subject to prevent himself from saying more dumb things. “I.. Okay. I guess I should get back.. I hope I didn’t give you a bad impression of me after that talk because I swear, therapy’s cool.” He spoke as he backed towards the door, letting an arm fall behind him to feel the frame so he won’t crash into it as both Erin and Lena had told him many times. 

“If we get to know someone beforehand, it means we would then be going into the sessions with an established perception of who this person is. The person would already be familiar with us and might not be too keen on being as openly honest as they might otherwise have been. The assessment would then almost certainly be biased in one way or another and therefore completely useless,” she explained. Ripley let him finish before fixing him with a raised eyebrow and smirk. “I may have asked, but there was nothing that forced you to answer and provide me with all that information, was there? The truth of the matter is that communicative people are always looking for a means to share their knowledge and ideas. All it can take is the right question for all the secrets to be unlocked, and as you’ve just proven, it wouldn’t even have been from a malicious standpoint. Someone just asked.” She winked at him to let him know it wasn’t necessarily an attack on his character, so much as an observation.

“That might not be a bad idea. They may even have the chain for it as well,” she said with a shrug.

“Soooo, you’re saying that I should find someone who doesn’t know who I am? But then wouldn’t they still end up knowing who I am after we talk about things? it’s almost the same thing, isn’t it? I mean, if we’re friends, that’s cool but why wouldn’t they be openly honest? Aren’t friends supposed to be honest? I don’t want friends lying to me. Oh is it because they think it’ll hurt my feelings? But why don’t therapists care about that? Like if I’m seeing you as your patient, you can totally lay it on me. The biased assessment.. mmmm... I don’t know.” Kiyan sighed, “But if you think a stranger as a therapist is for the best, then I guess I’ll have to hunt around for one.” The sloth shifter gasped as if Ripley just betrayed him, “Are you saying I’m a gossip person!? Oh no, I guess from this day forward I’ll have to stop talking - or at least not talk about anyone else.. but if I keep talking about me, doesn’t tha tjust make me narcississtic?” 

“Although I am looking at possibly setting up a practice for when I’m not on the clock here, I don’t think it would be the wisest idea to have your co-worker also be your therapist. Though, I would be more than happy to help you find one, if it’s something you’d really like to look into.” Ripley laughed lightly at the description. “Essentially, that is it though. We allow you to talk, ask a few questions that we fell might help make the line of thought a bit more productive, but for the most part it’s about providing a safe space for you to voice your thoughts and analyze them if the need arises.” She laughed again at the question, “Oh, there definitely is such a thing as talking too much, and the consequences can be devastating. Let’s just say that the saying ‘loose lips, sink ships’ came about for a reason.” Ripley figured it never hurt to have another contact in town, so she offered him a sticky note and a pen. “Here, jot it down and I’ll add it to my phone later. I’ll send you text when I do so you can save mine.”

The woman thought about it for a moment, and said, “Well, depends on the wallet, I suppose. Though, if your friend is crafty, she may be able to add the needed rivet for the chain so you don’t have to swap it out.”

“No? I had no idea that’d be a bad idea. I thought it’d be a good idea simply because you’d know who and what I’d probably be talking about instead of needing me to explain and like.. set up the scenario or something.” Kiyan chuckled, “I don’t actually know just how much a therapist needs to know to be asking those questions and whatnot.” He shook his head since he refused to believe one could talk to much. “There’s talking too much, and there’s revealing people’s secrets which is what I think that whole loose lips sinks ships is all about. If you don’t talk about other people, that’s fine then.” He grinned, “I don’t think i gossip all that often, however you did ask about the thief in the staff room.” The drama professor took the pen and quickly jotted down his number, double checking that it was indeed his number and not Erin’s nor his sister’s which were the only two he managed to memorize. 

“... I will have to ask if she can do that. Because I can’t do that but I also don’t want to switch. OH! What if I asked the home ec department? Maybe I can ask them for a favour!”

“Given that my PhD is actually in Psychology, I’d have to say I’m definitely one of those ‘people’. But, much like with many things, therapy works best when both parties involved are willing participants, and my father’s a bit too much of a private person for that to work,” she laughed lightly. His excitement was almost bordering on endearing. “Dear me, if I’d known you’d be this enthused by it I may have asked you to join me at the initial proposal. Really shown the administration what the course could do.”

“That’s interesting,” she began, “Might I suggest a wallet chain? They tend to be more in fashion among high schoolers, but it sounds like it may actually serve its intended purpose for you. Would also keep the would-be robber from actually taking your wallet…at least not without taking your trousers along with it.”

“Unless you’re actually working as a therapist as a side gig, then I don’t think I’d be finding myself a therapist anytime soon. Actually, I don’t even know where the therapists are in this town - I should really look that up, maybe go to a session or two just to see how that goes. Like what does one do in therapy? Do you just talk about your feelings and all that? Lena says I talk too much in general, so i don’t know if that’s an issue on it’s own. Can one even talk too much? Even if they did, what’s wrong with that?” He ranted, probably hit a nerve himself because he had been told by others that he needed to shut up sometimes. “Oh! But now we know! If you ever need my help, I will be so down. I don’t know what you need me to do but I will still be so, so down to help. My room is just at the end of the hall so if you ever need to find me, I’m there. Or, you could call me if you want? Do you want my number? I got a phone recently because apparently it’s still hard to find me when I don’t really go anywhere. I don’t know how that’s possible.”

Key pondered on the idea, remember how some of the teens he saw wore it. “I.. Would I need to get another wallet, I don’t think the one I use has a place to hook a chain on it and I really like my wallet, my best friend gave it to me one birthday and I don’t really want to change it yet especially when it’s not all worn out.”

“I believe what you’ve described is actually behavior that is typically associated with some form of mental illness or neurodivergence, though in both respects I believe cognitive behavioral therapy would be the key to avoiding a heart problem,” she teased. Giving her phone a quick glance to ascertain the current date, she glanced back up at him and said, “I should know by the end of the week. But no need to worry, I’ll be sure to send you an email as a reminder just so your browsing history doesn’t come under suspicion.”

She chuckled lightly at the thought. “I think it would honestly be less trouble to just keep your wits about you and not loose your wallet to begin with.”

“Well.. I’m glad that your pops didn’t have that going for him then.” He nodded with a smile, “I don’t think I have that problem but people have mentioned that therapy is good for you for all the reasons.” His smile grew wider at the news, “That’s fantastic! I’ll be looking forward to seeing that email. Oh I’m so excited.” 

The sloth shifter hummed before shaking his head. “Yeahhhhh, It would but I don’t trust myself, and my friends and sister probably would say the same thing. I’d lose it regardless if I try my best to not lose it. Maybe someone would rob it from me! You can’t be too careful!”

Ripley couldn’t help the slight laugh. “I mean, he’s great at adapting, so if for some reason he has to rearrange his routine, he can manage it well enough.” The man had certainly done well when going from single-guild-hunter to single-guild-hunter-father so… “But for the most part, he’s had it instilled in him since he was a boy that routine was the key to success, and with an example like my grandfather, few could argue.” Few being herself and her grandmother, and boy did they. “It’s always nice to see young men who genuinely show interest in such courses, and don’t find the mere idea of it intimidating. I’ll be sure to reserve you a spot as soon as I get the greenlight.” Some might say she was a bit cock, but Ripley preferred to think of it as being self-assured.

She simply hummed in response, leaning back after he was done. “It’s a psychological effect. It’s far easier to rationalize guilt away if there’s no name or face to tie the consequences of our actions to. It’s why it’s very highly recommended that one keep a picture of a baby, child, or family in one’s wallet. Makes it far more likely it will be returned.”

“Oooh. Okay, he is adaptable.. in a way.” He laughed, “It’d be way crazy if he was rigid through and through because like the slightest change would have set off an aneurysm and that does not sound healthy at all. That sounds like a pretty stressful life to be honest. Like, wow, I wouldn’t be able to do that. Being so set in your ways that any change would take you through a rollercoaster? Oh my god. My heart won’t be able to take that much stress.” Kiyan smiled, “Do you happen to know the general date you might get an answer about this? I.. don’t have the best memory so I will definitely need to set a notification - or I guess I could just check the page every week.. Every day but that sounds like I’d be stalking. Kind of.”

The drama professor thought about this, “I should just plaster pictures of my friends and family all over my wallet then. Make it super tacky. Maybe no one will want to steal it then.”

“Different people have different means by which they get things done. My father has always been one to believe that keeping to the same daily routine is the best way to go about living, and I’m always the one to point out that with no variety it hardly seems like living at all. Yet, we both have made it through life just the same,” she pointed out. It was a fair bit of an oversimplification of matters, but that was neither here nor there right now. “Either way, if you ever decide to take a course, I would be more than happy to have you in my class.”

“I’ll admit, I was being a little facetious wen asking about a creamer thief, seeing as I prefer my tea as is, but it is certainly worthwhile to know about your observations on Walterson. It belies that he either feels he’s not being properly compensating for his work otherwise or this is a stepping stone and he’ll be escalating to taking other things soon enough. Worth keeping an eye on.”

“That’s a very good point.” He fidgeted for a moment, “Does your dad really just do the same things everyday? What if it’s like.. a weekly thing that he always does it on like.. a Thursday and one day he decided to switch it up and do it on a Monday instead? Would that be like shocking? Because that’s pretty impressive in his own way to be able to stick to that routine for a very, very long time.” Kiyan nodded eagerly, “I will definitely check it out - especially that women’s history course if it gets approved.” 

The drama professor leaned forward, talking in a serious tone, “This is why if you ever leave anything in the staff rooms, you gotta label them. I mean, it doesn’t guarantee that they won’t be taken by some people but those who know better would definitely not touch them if they know that it’s not for the general public - Although I’m not sure why people think a lone sandwich would be up for grabs when there had been no notice of like.. a sandwich day or we got catering or something.”

“Well it did require quite a few extra years of study, but as you’ve clearly demonstrated, it has an impressive factor to it. Very much worth the effort,” she joked dryly. Ripley let out a small laugh at his remark. “Oh trust me, Professor Khalaji, I hardly lend myself to assumptions about a person as a whole based the one small aspect of their life I’m going to be privy to. After all, not having a grasp on History doesn’t directly impact your ability to teach a group of students how to emote as they deliver their lines.”

It was apparent that the man clearly needed someone to converse with, and considering he wasn’t necessarily keeping her from other tasks, Ripley was okay with obliging. “Ah, they did give me a general tour, but I wouldn’t mind one where there was some actual insight. You know? Show me the rest of the Humanities wing, but tell me a bit about each professor, or who steals all the creamer in the lounge?”

“I don’t know if it’s the fact that I might not be able to grasp History that will make it weird. It’s most likely my study habits. Also! People have said that I’m not very organized, which is weird because my curriculum turns out fine all the time, including the productions my classes tend to put on throughout the year. Like, I don’t know about you, but I’m also very surprised myself because I never know how I get it to happen but it does! I think my students are also very self efficient once they are given a rough outline...and a script.” Kiyan rambled on and on. 

“Hmm the creamer thief. I haven’t exactly seen them in action and everyone has their own suspicions but my gut is telling me that Professor Walterson is the one. I swear I’ve seen him pocket a few of them into his jacket before he sneaks out of there. He does that thing where he believes that no one is watching and quickly grabs a bunch, and then silently walks away.”

“My, you are a rather chatty fellow, aren’t you,” she said with a small smirk. “Professor Kiyan Khalaji of the Drama department, I’m Dr. Ripley Wren, History. This semester we’ll be focusing on World History to be specific, but I’m hoping to maybe get a new Women’s History course approved by next Spring.” She wasn’t normally one to speak so much at once, but she got the sense the man would be appreciative of the verbosity of the conversation. “Come, have seat. Maybe you can give a rundown of the place.”

“Oh Dr. Ripley Wren! That’s impressive. Dr. That’s an awesome title. That’s- I could never.” He laughed, scratching the side of his neck, “I hope you get that approved soon. I’m sure many people would love to take it. I would take it if I had the time to take on a few classes myself - though you might start questioning how I made it as a professor after seeing my grades or something because sometimes, even I don’t know how.” 

He eagerly walked up and took a seat near the woman, “Okay, so what do you want to know? I’m sure they gave you the tour when you first joined the staff, yeah? If not, someone did not do their job. If you want, I could should you around but for the breakdown.. I guess the different wings are the general topics.. So you have the arts in an area, the human kin and other sciences in another, so on and so forth.”

Ripley was in the middle of helping a student obtain a digital copy of a book they wouldn’t be able to afford for the semester when she noticed the onlooker from the door. She was glad when it became obvious that he would not cause them an issue -she much preferred her students have the materials needed over the school getting it’s exorbitant amounts of money and knew this might not go over well with the board.

As she bid the student farewell she called, “You’re welcome to step in now.” As he did she offered him a small smile and said, “I do appreciate you allowing us a moment to finish up. How can I help?”

“Hi! Hi. I’m Kiyan. Khalaji. Kiyan Khalaji. I’m the drama professor. I just wanted to like.. say hi to all the new faces - well, new to me at least. Are you new? I’ve never seen you before so i’m assuming you’re new.. Or maybe I just have never seen you walk about before. But hi! It’s nice to meet you by the way. What do you teach?”