TheSixthTester

Originally posted on my ao3 account with the same username.

Summary:

“If you are reading this, maybe you’ve found this journal by my dead corpse, or maybe I’m alive and sharing my journal and experiences with you (if I ever escape this place).

My name is Kylie Anderson, and I am trapped in an endless IKEA.”

The journal of a woman trapped in an endless IKEA, better known as SCP-3008.

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DAY 10

If you are reading this, maybe you’ve found this journal by my dead corpse, or maybe I’m alive and sharing my journal and experiences with you (if I ever escape this place).

My name is Kylie Anderson, and I am trapped in an endless IKEA.

I know that saying I’m trapped in an endless IKEA seems like a joke about the hard to navigate isles of IKEA stores, but it’s not a joke. I am literally trapped in an endless IKEA, no joke. How the hell this IKEA is somehow infinite, I have no fucking clue. Like, genuinely, what the actual fuck? I know for sure that this is not man made because there is no possible way for a human to somehow make an IKEA that looks normal on the outside but is fucking infinite on the inside. I never believed in magic and the supernatural, but I do now because that is the only explanation on how this thing was made. Still have no clue specifically how or why something like this happened, but it has got to be some kind of voodoo magic shit.

And the IKEA being infinite isn’t the only weird thing. The store has a sort of day and night cycle that is determined by the overhead lights being on and off (that’s how I know that I’ve been trapped in here for 10 days). And the restaurants in here just magically restock themselves overnight! I’m at least grateful for that, slowly starving to death seems like a painful way to go.

But the weirdest (and scariest) thing here are the giant faceless monsters dressed in IKEA uniforms that live here. You heard (read?) me right, monsters dressed as IKEA employees live in this place. They’re docile during the day (unless you provoke them) but at night they get violent and attack. They have hands that are big and strong enough to crush a human’s head. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

On my second night here, I managed to climb my way up to the top of one of those massive shelves so that I could be safe from those monsters. I was about to fall asleep when I heard screaming. I looked down and saw a man getting chased by 7 of those monsters. They managed to grab the poor man and one of them grabbed him by the head and crushed it. Blood and bits of brain exploded from his head and covered the surrounding area and those monsters. The stench was horrid. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Let’s talk write about something else now. How about the supplies that I currently have? Turns out that IKEA sells backpacks, and when I was wandering I found some on the shelves and took a black one. My backpack has some interesting stuff in it. I found a sewing kit that I snagged in case I need to repair clothes or get a wound that needs to be stitched. I also grabbed some cloth and tape in case I need to create a bandage. I know for a fact that this place is dangerous and I can get injured at any time. They’re not actual medical supplies, but IKEA doesn’t have those so I just gotta work with that I got. I am (was?) in med school and I took first aid and cpr training in high school, so while I’m not a full blown doctor, I know a lot about medical things. So I’m confident that if I get a wound that isn’t too severe I could fix it up with my improvised tools and hope for the best.

I have a few water bottles from the restaurants and a tupperware container (Ive learned that IKEA sells more than furniture) with some food from there as well just in case I’m in a situation where I can’t restock. I snatched two kitchen knives incase I need to defend myself. I picked up a tiny tool kit which could be useful in the future. I found some rope, too, which could also come in handy for something.

I’ll admit that I also have two useless items. I know what you’re gonna say, I should only take what I need to survive. But in my defense mental health is very important and these silly little things make me happy and therefore my mental health isn’t declining to the point of suicidal thoughts because of them so I do need them. HA! TAKE THAT NON EXISTENT PERSON WHO CRITICIZED ME! Anyway the two items are this funny little IKEA bucket hat I found and a tiny adorable cow plush. I wear the hat every day because it is my lucky hat and I love it so much. And I sleep with the little cow plush because it just brings me comfort. I know it’s childish but I’m literally trapped in an endless IKEA with seven foot tall monsters that want to kill me, I think I deserve a bit of childish comfort.

You can probably tell that I wander and explore A BUNCH based on the different kinds of stuff I have. I love going to the forest behind my parent’s house and then just wander and explore, following no particular path, I have since I was a kid. When I get out of here If I get out of here, the first thing I’m gonna do is go on a long walk in the woods…

I guess I used this page as a little sort of introduction to me, so if I die and someone finds this they will know what kind of person I was or something. Or maybe I just want to be remembered.

I can’t really think of anything else to write.

-Maleficent is the one who abandoned Mal as a baby instead of Hades.

-Mal’s name would probably be something different, most likely starting with the letter H, keeping in theme with all the other VK names. But for the sake of simplicity I’ll still call her Mal.

-Mal’s color pallet would be blue and black instead of purple and green, and her hair would be more blue instead of purple. I do think her eyes would still glow green when she uses magic.

-Descendants 1 would only have minor changes. Mal would still be friends with Evie, Carlos, and Jay. Hades would take Maleficent’s place as the head honcho of the group of the Evil Queen, Cruella, and Jafar. The Core 4 would still be tasked with stealing Fairy Godmother’s wand and the events of the movie would play out the same until the battle at the coronation, which would he against Hades instead of Maleficent. I think Hades would be defeated by Mal banishing him back to the Isle, I just don’t see any way he would turn into an animal like Maleficent did.

-Descendants 2 would basically be the same until Mal fights Uma at the cotillion. I think that she wouldn’t turn into a dragon since it wouldn’t be thematically appropriate with her being raised by Hades. I think she would have some kind of power-up related to the powers of Hades. Like her hair is on fire with blue flames like Hades, her eyes glow blue instead of green, and she has strong fire powers that she uses.

-Descendants 3 could go one of two ways, it could stay the same with the only difference being how and why Hades and Mal reconcile, or Maleficent could take Hades’ place in the movie. I’ve decided to go with Maleficent taking Hades’ place in the movie because I think that’s more interesting. Hades’ ember is in the museum and Audrey steals it. The rule about only Hades and Mal being able to use it is retconned, so anyone can use it. Mal goes to the Isle to get Maleficent’s scepter (which will now have the ember rules of only being able to be used by Maleficent and Mal) and Maleficent and Mal have their own version of Do What You Gotta Do. The events play out the same, except with Audrey having the ember and Mal having the scepter. Mal’s hair becomes more purple as she uses the scepter, mirroring how it became more blue when she used the ember in the movie. In the final battle against Audrey Mal would still turn into a dragon, Maleficent’s scepter unlocking that part of her powers. The only difference is that Audrey wouldn’t be killed, only severely injured. Mal would ask her mother for help healing Audrey, revealing her secret that Maleficent is her mom, and Mal and Maleficent would have their reconciliation moment. The end of the movie would be the same, with Mal breaking the barrier, but it would be Maleficent that showed up instead of Hades.