否極泰來

"there weren't any signs" i cried myself to sleep in front of you for a month straight

first day of october and i'm still in love with you

loving you is reflexive. a tap of the knee and out comes your name.

it should be shameful how nice it feels that you have a toothbrush at my place now

i need my home but my home is living their life 200 miles away

you have touched me so intimately. you have held me to your chest with no ill intention, fingers combing through my hair. you've carried me up the stairs when i haven't been able to. you've embraced me so tightly i could feel the words "i love you. i will miss you" in your touch. you've reached out and cupped my heart, bringing it to your lips to take a sip of it's offerings. and i will always make sure it is full for you.

i want to go through everything with you. i want to be there by your side at all times no matter what. through the good moments and the bad moments. you are another part of me. you always know how to cheer me up or make me feel at ease. spending time with you feels like a dream. even five minutes means so much. i get to see the person of my dreams. i just want to hold ur hand. be in your arms. breathe your air. i want to wrap my arms around you when i feel tired. i wanna be the chest you lay on when you're stressed out. i wanna be there for you through everything. i just wanna be yours.

i have your city on my weather app

only once in your life do you find someone who can completely turn your world around. you tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. you share hopes for the future. dreams that will never come true. goals that were never achieved. and the many disappointments that life has thrown at you. when something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it knowing they will share in your excitement. they are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting. or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. never do they hurt your feelings. or make you feel like you are not good enough. but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. there is never any pressure, jealousy, or competition. but only a quiet calmness when they are around. you can be yourself and not worry what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. the things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song, or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

i hope that the right person will know how to hold my love. the right person will chose me just as deeply as i chose them. i wouldn't have to quiet the way i care, never feel like i am too much. i wouldn't have to beg for the love i deserve. and one day i hope to be met where i am. someone's favourite and to not be confused by their feelings. i won't feel like i'm fighting for someone who isn't fighting for me. and one day i hope i'll understand that it'll never matter how tightly i held onto the wrong person. how intensely i tried. because the right person would find me. the right person would stay. the right person would understand my soul. cherish my presence. and love me without conditions or limitations. love shouldn't feel like i'm begging, it flows freely and accepts me as i am.

i wish i didn't fall in love with a person like you. a person who leaves me so raw after every deep conversation that i can taste blood in my mouth. you have destroyed me in the most beautiful way possible. and whenever you leave, i can finally understand why storms are named after people. you should've warned me that once you and i are no more, all the good parts of my soul that managed to leak out around you will be destroyed, spilled on pavement to never be picked up again. i am perpetually reminded of you. every blue car and blue water bottle. every rock in a river, every crevice in a climbable wall. but you know what the worst part is? it's how you've witnessed and observed me. making me feel like the only person who mattered. and i secretly liked that because i never felt that way before. so now i'll avoid mirrors, because when i look at myself i remember you.