TheSideRoadStory

Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.

I can't give you an opinion. I can give you scripture. The Bible says there is only one exception for divorce and that is fornication.(Matt 19:9) However if there is physical abuse present in the relationship and one feels that they or their children are in danger then it becomes necessary that they remove themselves from that situation promptly. One does not have to divorce to live elsewhere.

Remain unmarried and undefiled and should one's spouse commit fornication during said period then an exception for fornication has been made and a scriptural foundation for divorce is established. However, I will only stress that should one leave their spouse with the premeditated intension of causing them to be tempted to commit fornication in order to divorce, than they will stand in a dangerous place with the Lord. Their divorce may not be valid in God's eyes causing them to have opened an adulterous life style should they every remarry.

Lying is not an exception for divorce. That doesn't make it right or acceptable but it is not a bases/foundation for scriptural divorce and should be avoided as a pretense.

Ultimately pray over the situation and if it is possible to work out a marriage than all measures should be taken. Never walk away unable to say "I did everything I could to save my marriage." When one can honestly say that to the Lord and still their marriage end scripturally then will they blessed.

NEW TESTAMENT:

In the New Testament there is scripture that supports remarriage. It's relatively ambiguous but it does not exclude possibility. In fact some of it is fairly implicative.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 KJVS

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: [11] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Chapter 10: "Depart" in the original text is "chorizo" which means to put away, separate, or divorce. Also note the semi-colon at the end which means the following verse is directly related to the previous.

Chapter 11: BUT AND IF she put away, separate, or divorce, LET her remain unmarried OR be RECONCILED to her husband:

"And let not the husband put away his wife." Is behind semicolons as well. At first glance it seems as though it nulls the idea that they were not yet divorced, however, it's clear that if it were there for that purpose it would have used the wife and not the husband since she was the subject of the context. When further examined it's becomes apparent that the context of, "And let not the husband put away his wife." Is actually reestablishing the comittment toward the husband in addition to the wife. Comparitiely saying, "And this applies to the husband as well."

Now let's look at another passage dealing with a similar

1 Corinthians 7:27-28 KJVS

Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. [28] BUT (moreover) and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

These two scriptures are concerning a married man. Section B of verse 27 says "Art thou loosed from a wife?" Meaning he is divorced. It continues to say "seek not a wife." Don't look for a wife after you're divorced BUT which here can be translated as moreover or in other words it's continuing from verse 27 to verse 28 and not separating the two. They are connected.

BUT and IF THOU (the same audience) marry, thou hast not sinned; Confirming it's not a sin to remarry after divorce. Its apparent that there is a separates between someone who has been married getting remarried and someone who has never been married by the use of the word "virgin." The prior was not a virgin the latter is a virgin. Divorce is a safe assumption since it's written to a church saved.

Apostle Paul continues to say that getting remarried will cause problems. He was adimant about this idea as he often said not to get remarried after you've been divorced or if your spouse die. It's understood his purpose was to have his saints focus on the Lord. However not all can accept this. It's Better to not get remarried but it's not a sin to do so.

The ambiguity of this passage does not neglect the possibility of remarriage of previously divorced spouses. If ever a time in scripture for Apostle Paul to address it, this would have been the time. Yet we find that it is not addressed.

I believe apostle Paul was well enough rehearsed in the law to understand Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Hosea. I believe they gathered understanding that it was not an issue.

CONCLUSION:

    It is my belief that should a man divorce his wife for cheating and comitting fornication against him that he has every right to allow her to return to him and be reconciled to one another as God has done for his people on multiple accounts.

    Likewise should a wife divorce her husband and he repent and she has mercy on him then it is my understanding that she is within the will of God to remarry her husband.

    Confession, repentance, and a new covenant needs to be made. God Is in the business of restoring. God's character is defined by this example. The people of God have always been referred to as the bride or wife. He often paints comparisons between that of the husband and wife and that of his own relationship with us.

    It becomes clear that God corrected Moses in Jeremiah and in Matthew and then by the examples we examined in Ezekiel and Hosea.

The more you study it out the more clear it becomes that God is all for reconciling marriage. I do not believe that if God considered it an abomination that he would place himself in a position of performing it himself.

There is a clear correction in terms of divorce made by Jesus. He corrected and fulfilled the original purpose.

Matthew 5:17 KJVS

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

It's also important to note that we are no longer under the old law:

Romans 6:14 KJVS

For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

Romans 6:15 KJVS

What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

Romans 7:6 KJVS

But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.

Galatians 5:18 KJVS

But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

While I stand that it is very much within the will of God to remarry a previously divorced spouse I want to clarify that in no way do I assert that it is required. After the exception of fornication I believe that a man or woman may remarry another person of the opposite sex, within the will of God.

God's original plan for marriage was never divorce. However I believe he realized that it would eventually become an issue and so he established a means for his people.

It's my perfect understanding that God wants us to be happy and that it's not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18) That is no less true after divorce than it is before marriage. I thoroughly suggest that if you're facing a choice like marriage, divorce, or remarriage that you give it fervent prayer and thought prior to making your decision. Marriage and divorce is not to be taken lightly. The effects of your decision not only effect you but also your significant other and in many cases, children.

In the case of children I urgently press on you much prayer and counsel. Seek the advise of your pastor and ask the elders of the church for prayer. Take time in your decision, review yourself, review the situation, and if a divorce can be prevented then by all means seek that Avenue first.

I'd also like to note that just because you have the exception of fornication that in no way means you should use it. Again, I say pray thoroughly and seek God's will. If a marriage can be saved then it's your responsibility to God and that woman/man.

    What does the Bible say about Divorce, and Remarriage? Let's open up scripture and begin with it's first account.

    The first mention of divorce we find is by Moses. However, it becomes clear that Moses spoke outside of the will of God in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 when he stated that a man may divorce his wife and he goes on to include that after they're divorced they can never remarry because he believed it would be an abomination to God.

 Deuteronomy 24:1-4 KJV

"When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. [2] And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife . [3] And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; [4] Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord : and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance."

    Moses spoke as if he understood God's perspective on this matter. No doubt Moses was very close to God having been the only man to commune with him directly for relevant periods of time. However, we find that later on that Moses had actually spoken outside of his bounds in this matter when Jesus states:

"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." Matthew 19:8 KJV (Also see Mark 10:2-12)

    God never gave Moses a law for divorce. We realize this is an initiative that Moses took for his people. I am certain it must've been unimaginably difficult to pastor a multi-million person congregation. I would attribute his statement in Deuteronomy as a means of peace-making with his congregation. God allowed it for quite some time however it was indefinitely corrected by Jesus. (Matthew 19:8)

    Let's further examine Moses' understanding of this very situation and compare it with God's perspective concerning specifically the remarriage of the previously divorced spouse. 

Moses said it was an abominaton to remarry a person you've previously divorced. However what does God have to say about it? We recognize that Moses has already been wrong once in permitting divorce to begin with. Now we need to understand if God's will lines up with Moses' statement of remarriage being an abomination.

We will do this by examining relevant related scripture on the topic, the personality of God as characterized by scripture, and by further examining God's overall plan for marriage in relation to redemptive history. Is the remarriage of a previously divorced spouse an abomination today?

God spoke to the prophet Jeremiah about this very topic years later and God's perspective is quite different than that of the Old Law that Moses gave. God even unmistakingly targeted Moses' statement in Deuteronomy and drew many parallels redefining his character on the matter.

 Jeremiah 3:1 KJV

"THEY SAY, "If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted?" "BUT thou(Israel) hast played the harlot with many lovers; YET return again to me," SAITH THE LORD."

   Above in Jermiah 3:1 we see that he separated what "they" say (Moses and scribes) and what the LORD says. Note that LORD is in all caps signifying that when used here it is referring to the personal name of God and not just the generic title meaning "master." Therefore God is speaking for himself through the prophet Jeremiah.

    You might say "Well that doesn't mean that he divorced Israel." Actually quite the contrary. He did divorce Israel in verse 8.

 Jeremiah 3:8 KJV

"And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I HAD(past tense particle) put her away, and GIVEN(past tense verb) her a bill of divorce..."

    God divorced his wife(Israel) because she committed fornication(worshipped idols/idolatry). Fornication is the only exception given by God for divorce.

 Matthew 19:9 KJV

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (See also Matthew 5:32)

In Jeremiah 3:8 God divorces Israel. In verse 9 Israel defiles herself and the land AFTER the divorce which is a direct parallel to Deuteronomy 24:4.

 Jeremiah 3:9 KJV

"And IT CAME TO PASS (after the divorce) through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks."

    Israel defiled the land by your adultery AFTER her divorce. Moses stated that a wife could not go back to her husband after she was defiled because it was an abomination. Does God take Israel back? We know He does.  

 Jeremiah 3:12-13 KJV

"Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, RETURN, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord ; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord , and I will not keep anger for ever. [13] Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the Lord."

 Jeremiah 4:1 KJV

"If thou wilt RETURN, O Israel, saith the Lord , RETURN UNTO ME: and if thou wilt put away thine abominations out of my sight, then shalt thou not remove."

Note: (Remove in the original Hebrew is "nood" meaning to "waver." In other words God was telling Israel if she will remove temptation from her site she won't waver or fall back into her idolatry/fornication)

    God told Israel to return. Did God commit and abominaton or was Moses mistaken? Matthew 19:8 makes it clear that Moses was mistaken and thus Jesus fulfilled the law and restored the natural order of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

    What was God's character and requirements for divorced Israel? We find that He only asked for two things from her.

1. Acknowledge that you cheated. Simply confess that you cheated and were disobedient to God. (See Jeremiah 3:13)

2. Repent. Put it behind you. Never do it again. Remove the temptation from your site so that you don't do it again. (See Jeremiah 4:1)

    Afterward he made a promise. If you do these two things for me I will not be angry with you forever, I will have mercy, and my anger won't fall on you.

    Divorce is not the permanent end or else we would all be in danger of Hell today. If it wasn't for God's forgiveness for Israel or our sins and God's remarriage to his people we would be lost and in trouble. God's overall character reflects a loving God willing to go the distance for someone even after he's cut them off. It's an obvious attribute of the Lord throughout scripture.

 Ephesians 5:25 KJV

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"

    Look at the Bible as a whole. God always allows his bride to return. His mercy endureth forever. He loves us. There are times that the people of God have gotten so far away from Him that He puts her away; He delivers her into the hands of the enemy. He separates himself from her but always watches, waits, and listens. Ultimately, he always allows her to return if she confesses and repents. As long as the church is still alive she will always be given an opportunity.

EZEKIEL:

    Ezekiel chapter 16 gives a similar account to Jeremiah. Let's look into how it compares with God's perspective of previously divorced spouse remarriage and how it greatly differs from that of Moses' precept.

First we begin with the the marriage of Israel and God's covenant aka vows.

Ezekiel 16:8 KJVS

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I SWARE unto thee, and entered into a COVENANT with thee, saith the Lord God , and THOU BECAMEST MINE.

So here we have a beautiful image of God falling in love with this woman Jerusalem/Israel. He provided for her and was gentle. He made her vows and she became his. This is the perfect picture of marriage. However things don't stay as perfect as God had planned.

Ezekiel 16:15 KJVS

But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was.

In verse 14 God said he provided her beauty but in verse 15 she trusted in her own beauty. She ends up cheating on God with other gods. God goes on describing her fornication against him and how she did so much to please others and not Him. He even compares her directly as his wife that fornicates.

Ezekiel 16:32 KJVS

But as a wife that committeth adultery, which taketh strangers instead of her husband!

He is angry. He is hurt. In His anger he declares that he will gather her lovers and even her haters and he will reveal her shame to them and he will judge her or in other words he will make a decision since she broke wedlock ultimately severeing their marriage.

Ezekiel 16:38-39 KJVS

And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.

We soon find out the decision and judgement God makes is to give her away. It's seems God's character is something along the lines of "If you want them so badly then here. They can have you. I'm done."

[39] And I will also give thee into their hand..."

Ezekiel 16:60 KJVS

Nevertheless I will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth, and I will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant.

Lets summarize. We recognize that a covenant was made between God and Israel in verse 8 and then it was broken in verse 38. God then puts Israel away in verse 39. Now God talks about making a different type of covenant. A covenant that will last forever or in other words new vowels. All in all we have a clear example of God supporting the remarriage of a previously divorced spoused.

HOSEA:

We find another example in Hosea where God draws yet another parallel to Israel his wife and Gomer, Hosea's wife. However in this example God makes a much more clear attempt in expressing a much deeper understanding; that being his expressed love for his people. He uses the marriage and life of Hosea and Gomer to depict the nature of his relationship with Israel. He also makes it clear through their story that the example given in Jeremiah is not restricted to God himself but is available to humanity as well.

In Chapter 1:2 God tells Hosea to take a prostitute for a wife. In verse 3 he chooses Gomer. Signifying that Israel was filthy when he discovered her. God said that Israel defiled the land.

Hosea was a priest and no doubt he bore shame in the marriage of a prostitute. Similarly God bore Israel's shame as Jesus would someday bare ours. This story is a history of Old Testament Israel and a foreshadowing mention of redemption to come.

Hosea 1:3 KJVS

So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim; which conceived, and bare him a son.

We read down to verse 6 where he compares Hosea's daughter to Israel and gives her a name meaning "no mercy."

Hosea 1:6 KJVS

And she conceived again, and bare a daughter. And God said unto him, Call her name Lo-ruhamah: for I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel; but I will utterly take them away.

God gives Hosea insight on his plan to put Israel away (Divorce).

Hosea 1:9 KJVS

Then said God , Call his name Lo-ammi: for ye are not my people, and I will not be your God .

God severs his relationship with Israel. They no longer belong to him and he no longer belongs to them, signfying a clear past tense divorcement nature between the two. If it's not clear enough here we see the reflection in Chapter 2.

Hosea 2:2 KJVS

Plead with your mother, plead: for she is NOT my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;

They are divorced and he commands that she repent. He goes on to shame her children. Evidently after they had their children in wedlock she commits fornication and he divorces her. At some point it's my belief that she remarries or at the very least defiles herself and has other children.

Hosea 2:5 KJVS

For their mother hath played the harlot: she that conceived them hath done shamefully: for she said, I will go after my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink.

Gomer/Israel is now evidently defiled after the divorce. Eventually she thinks better of her situation and decides that she wants to return to Hosea/God.

Hosea 2:7 KJVS

And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them : then shall she say, I will go and return to my FIRST husband; for then was it better with me than now.

Now from the context of this passage one could safely assert that Gomer remarried after her first divorce and had children with him by her use of the words, "First husband."

Grammatically speaking, it doesn't make sense to state that you have a first husband if you don't have a second husband. I would assert that she got remarried and defiled herself before realizing that she wanted to return to Hosea.

However this whole chapter speaks concerning God and Israel and not necessarily Hosea and Gomer. The connection is assumed but not necessarily dogmatic.

The results of God's character eventually accompany forgiveness. He even states in a future tense that Israel won't be removed from his hand. (Possible prophetic foreshadowing of John 10:28-29)

Hosea 2:10 KJVS

And now will I discover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of mine hand.

God states his plan to take her back and then we find that He wants to get her alone and speak to her "comfortably" in the original text meaning "understanding." He wants to convince her to act right. He's fighting for love now that his anger has settled.

Hosea 2:14 KJVS

Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.

Now we will read down into verse 19-20 where God says he will betroth Israel forever.

Hosea 2:19-20 KJVS

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. [20] I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.

Betroth comes from the original word "aw-ras" which means to engage. And finally we learn the result of the full return.

Hosea 2:23 KJVS

And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God.

In summary we seen in Chapter 1:2 a marriage. In 2:2 we see the Divorce. In 2:7 We see a post divorce defilement and then also a repentance. In 2:19-20 we see three times that God says he will remarry Israel and establish something new conclusively supporting the remarriage of a divorced spouse.

    In Hosea Chapter 3 we find a shortly  extended chapter on the prior topic where God tells Hosea in verse 1 to love the woman that committed adultery possibly with her friend and connects it to Israel.

Hosea 3:1 KJVS

Then said the Lord unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.

He obeys God and buys her. Some assert to marriage as it would've been contradicting to God's character to have Hosea purchase a prostitute for pleasure. It's clear that Hosea purchased the woman to himself when the original text is thoroughly studied.

Hosea 3:2 KJVS

So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:

Afterward God draws the parallel toward Israel once again and then ends the chapter with the return of Israel to God after playing the harlot.

Hosea 3:5 KJVS

Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the Lord their God..."