𝓐ᥫ᭡.

What is it?

It is a state where you embrace your true identity, as a consciousness, letting go of your human form completely. A void is a blank or starting stage, therefore at first entrance it appears devoid of anything, just a black, or white void. The void is your home, from where entirely different storylines for yourself can be chosen. Anything that comes to the mind is possible in this state, namely manifesting and shifting.

Why is it?

(In the form of further reading)

What is reality?

Lastly, how to get into it?

Entering the void state is to let go of your identity. Creepy as it sounds, it's not stripping you of anything, just surrender your human identity and set it aside for a while as you get your desires faster than the speed of light.

Step by step guide:

1. Get into the most comfortable position imaginable; I know it generally advised to lay flat on your back or something, but sweating in the middle of the night in hopes of entering this "mystic state" is never connecting to the source, you can hope all you want and wonder over as your heart desires but not when you're actively entering the void state.

2. Intend; what is your purpose for entering the void? To make sure we don't forget it later on, say a small statement "I intend to ____" with a calm mind, which you'll remember regardless.

3. Ease into it; affirm, meditate, or visualise all the desire you're going to have after this trip to the abyss, or just do anything that seems fit. The main component of letting go of your identity is to let go of the physical body, and we let go of our physical body when we're deeply relaxed or experiencing altered states of consciousness.

4. Repeat a certain phrase or word in your mind, it could be a mantra, an affirmation. By focusing onto our chosen focal point (the word or phrase), we leave behind our identity as a human, which had been tangled in our thoughts.

5.Go blank. The darkness behind our eyelids is quite similar to our idea of the void state. Once you've repeated the focal point enough times, you'll feel floating and feeling like your soul is being dragged or pulled. You need to stop repeating at this point, instead focus intensely on the blackness of it all, at a point, you'll feel the area of the blankness expand so that it takes a form of a spherical view of a void.

6. Enter. You'll need to repeat step 4 and 5 a few times, but soon you'll fall out of your human form, and merge into your consciousness, becoming your true form, and before you know it, you'll enter the void state.

...

This was requested by an anon, I hope it could help anyone from overcomplicating such a simple concept.

Bye, I'm going to go watch season 1 of squid game again.

choose ur desire

make up an affirmation about it. example: I have my desire.

affirm the affirmation

every time you get a doubt tell your brain sybau

you said you couldn't shift, and so you didn't. you said you couldn't get your desire, and so you didn't

every single day i get some version of "i keep affirming but it's not working." or "i have sleep paralysis and anxiety and adhd and asthma and dissociation and i get distracted and i think about soup and i have intrusive thoughts and i blink too much and i can't shift." and like, okay, let's pause.

you are the god of your reality, right? right. you are the ultimate authority, period, the one who dictates the rulebook as it's being read, the one who names the block and thereby either gives it weight, or flips it on its head.

you keep saying you have a block. okay, cool. but have you ever decided what that block does? have you ever said, "this block speeds up my shift," or "this distraction means i'm already there," or "this anxiety is just energy that moves me into alignment faster"?

because if everything is yours to command, then so are your limitations.

you are the one who assumes the feeling of "stuck" is the truth, instead of just a sensation. you think resistance is something you have instead of something you're assuming.

you say "i'm not seeing results," but then continue living in the assumption that nothing's happening, when in fact, the only reason nothing's happening is because you're treating the lull as a wall, not a bridge.

you are obviously not failing in any sort of way, what you are doing though is declaring yourself blocked and then asking how to unblock yourself instead of just....… not calling it a block. you're assuming your reality is stuck because you feel stuck, forgetting that your feelings follow your declarations, not the other way around.

so yes. you can shift with sleep paralysis, you can shift with doubts. you can shift while thinking about raccoons or scrolling tiktok or crying. all the power to you. you can shift while feeling as if it isn't working, because intention is the root, not belief. not clarity. not silence. not faith. just, and i mean just and only, intention.

and when you make intention king, everything else becomes a servant.

the key isn't to "overcome" the block, you are only a person, but what you can do is name it something else.

it's to be like, "this thing i keep calling resistance is my signal that i'm halfway through the veil."

"this tiredness is the awareness detaching."

"this doubt is the mind processing the shift already happening."

because you are not waiting for your reality to change. if you are you'll continue so for years on end without any sort of light at the end of the tunnel. you are the one who has to decide whether or not you get to claim the change, and you do, obviously. always.

you're not stuck, you're just calling it stuck. you're not blocked, you're just narrating a block.

what if you stopped?

what if you said: oh. this is working, it's been working, it will keep working. even when it doesn't feel like it is, especially then.

what if your lack of belief was the exact proof that it's already done?

what if your messy brain was just your reality rearranging?

what if the chaos was the tunnel, not the obstacle?

what if intention was enough?

(it is. always.)

how to stop checking 3d?? no glue, no borax, no spiritual snake oil, just the facts.

right, so, you want out. you want to stop checking 3d like it's a stock market crash, like it's a renaissance painting where, if you just squint hard enough, the divine truth will reveal itself. you want to stop, but you keep doing it, and now you're here, which means you are both self-aware and in trouble. let's fix that.

let's diagnose. checking 3d, whether compulsive, casual, or full-tilt existential crisis, is a symptom. you are looking for proof. confirmation. a wink from the universe that everything is working, that your assumptions are correct, that the metaphysical postman hasn't lost your order. it's like shaking a polaroid before it develops: you think you're helping, but you're just interfering.

here's the brutal truth, courtesy of every dead philosopher worth their salt: reality doesn't care if you check. schrodinger's cat is going to be what it's going to be whether you pry open the box or not. your job, if you actually want to stop checking, is to stop thinking you're the forensic analyst of your own existence. because you're not. you are the architect. and architects don't micromanage bricks. they draw the plans and trust the builders.

so, the method. no glue, no borax, no manifesting mala beads necessary. just strategy.

i , replace the action :  every time you catch yourself checking, do something else. immediately. drink water. text a friend. recite some poetry (preferably by someone dramatic, like plath or pound). make this a rule: if you check, you must also perform an arbitrary task, like doing a plank or translating a sentence into latin. you won't like this. that's the point. your brain will get bored and stop the cycle.

ii , reframe the impulse :  checking is a power move in reverse. you are telling the universe you don't trust it. that's embarrassing. stop doing that. act like someone who already has what they want, because people who have what they want do not spend their free time poking at the logistics of their own happiness like it's a faulty ikea table.

iii , refuse to engage with time :  checking is a byproduct of impatience. impatience is a byproduct of thinking time is linear and oppressive instead of weird and malleable. ignore time. pretend it doesn't exist. pretend you are a 14th-century aristocrat who has never seen a clock and moves exclusively by candlelight and gut instinct. the more you detach from time, the less you will care about what happens when.

iv , control your narrative intake :  what you consume, you become. if you're constantly reading anxious forum posts and scrolling through tiktok videos of people catastrophising, congratulations, you're marinating in doubt. stop it. read things that make you feel powerful. read war strategy. read virginia woolf. read a single wikipedia article on some obscure form of combat and let your brain steep in the idea that you are the general, not the foot soldier.

v , become so interesting that you forget to check :  this is the most important step. if your reality is boring, you will check on it like a neglected houseplant. make your life impossible to check on. fill it with distractions so lush and decadent that you forget to care. become the person who is too busy living to investigate. read difficult books. learn weird skills. get obsessed with something obscure and ridiculous (medieval astronomy, japanese joinery, renaissance poison recipes). make your brain so occupied with living that it forgets to spiral.

last thing, and this is crucial: trust like it's your job. because it is. trust is not passive. trust is an active, radical decision. the moment you commit to trusting, fully, unflinchingly, with the audacity of a gambler pushing all their chips forward, you become untouchable. 

so go. don't check. do something better.

I don't want to be all click-baity and go "you guys RUN DON'T WALK to this manifesting method which will 100 percent give you results 😍" but in all honesty, I fully believe it 100 percent will give you results. so, just try it.

ok and this isn't even a method I just know loablr and shiftblr loves calling them methods so here's just a life hack/ trick/ method that's just. chefs kiss. It is the way to get things so fucking quick it's like. scary.

the steps:

pick your desire

affirm like 1-10 times. it does not matter how much you do it, how you do it, what you do while you're affirming. just affirm that you have it.

move tf on like FORGET ABOUT IT QUEEN.

okay and ultimate hack: pick a time where you KNOW you'll be thinking of other things.

for example:

right before hanging out with friends

right before going to the grocery store with your mom

right before playing a game with your sibling

right before you watch a funny show

right before a concert, museum, whatever

so you'll affirm and after that you will be forced to think of something else. you'll just entirely forget about it.

why does this work?

because it's literally the definition of living in the end. you affirm that you have it and don't think twice about it. you have fun afterwards, you're distracted. I mean, you already have your desire, so why would you even be thinking about where it is?

and if you need external validation (which honestly, I think is crazy dumb because.... you only need yourself and your assumptions to manifest what you want tf) :

Every single time I've manifested something into my reality it's always been like this. and the sooner I move on from the obsession, the wavering, the thinking about that desire. the quicker I've gotten results. I'm not saying results in a week I'm talking results in minutes. No. joke.

okay love you kisses kisses

a "ritual" to say goodbye to your old self and everything you've known

are you feeling stuck in your manifestation/shifting/void journey? do you keep seeing people telling you to persist in your desires, but you feel like your mind is doing the complete opposite?

it's time to let go of your old identity. the doubtful one. to step into your new self. the one who already has it all.

before you start: do this in the afternoon (ideally), before you go to bed. turn off your phone notifications, clean your space/table, make it a safe place, light a candle, whatever makes you feel calm and relaxed. (optionally) listen to this subliminal as you do the following steps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRFnXo2vlWI :

the goodbye letter: take a piece of paper and write a letter for your old self. the one you're letting go of. write: what no longer serves you, what you're saying goodbye to. tell them thank you, for everything they've done to get you to this point in time. tell them that it has been a long journey, but now it's time to leave. write the date down. this is the last time you're doing this.

burn the letter or tear it into tiny pieces and throw it away. once you don't have the letter in your hands anymore, say out loud or in your mind: "It is done."

any doubts that show up from this point forward are just whispers of your old self. but you're not that anymore, so simply ignore them, laugh at them. they don't belong to you, but to somebody you don't know anymore.

take a shower; however long you want the shower to be. play some frequency music in the backround. as you wash the soap off of yourself, imagine you're "cleansing" your old self. this is rebirth. the second you step out of the shower, think of yourself as a blank canvas. you are renewed. anything you want to be at this point, you already are.

as you get ready for bed (self care, brushing teeth, etc.), treat every movement as sacred. this is not routine. this is reverence. you are officially your new, master manifestor, master shifter, master of EVERYTHING self. feel how incredible it is to finally be free of all the doubts you used to have.

lie down in your bed, and say (out loud or silently): "This body is no longer a cage. This mind is no longer a battlefield. I am nothing. I am everything. I am."

let yourself drift off to sleep while repeating any short phrase that implies fulfillment, like a lullaby. an example is "thank you, thank you, thank you..." or "isn't it wonderful?" or any short phrase you prefer, until your mind is completely dominated by the sensation of thankfulness.

yesterday I was having the coziest night, it was raining and for some time I had put a stop to my shifting journey because I had other things to focus on these days. but yeah it was so cozy yesterday it reminded me of my hogwarts dr. also keep in mind ive been working a lot on my self concept and I feel very confident in my abilities recently.

so I laid on my sofa and got into a comfy position, like any position I would use to fall asleep on a normal night. I started drifting off to sleep as I kept repeating "I'm in my dr", "I'm in my dr" and just imagining my dorm, how I would brush my hair... I wasn't thinking too hard about it. just letting my mind get all hazy and kind of feeling how it would be to be sleeping in my comfy hogwarts bed. I was pretty much almost asleep when I suddenly heard this very loud noise, as if someone was in the same room as me. I opened my eyes, startled obviously, and I was in my living room again. But I just KNOW it was from my dr, because I was home alone and I have a bunch of roommates in my dr who will wake me up. This all took less than 5 minutes, by the way.

I'm not even frustrated that I woke up!!!! I'm just mad that months ago I was painting shifting as this impossible, super hard thing . I'm so so so happy and not only in my shifting journey, in everything right now. It's all working out as it should and I'm sorry if I'm not posting a lot recently since I've had a lot to do these days :)

dolly's complete guide to affirmations ༺♡༻

in other words, how to be the creator just by thinking it.

I. why affirm?

idk it fucking works okay 😭 source: just trust me bro

just kidding. from what I understand; repetition rewires the brain. law of assumption states that what you assume in your mind as true is what reflects in the 3d, or in what you "can see". it's simple, you tell yourself something. you repeat it. you are reaffirming to yourself that this statement is true. and loa, or whatever you want to call it is real, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here wasting my time typing this.

affirmations aren't something new. they've been here since forever. Neville Goddard, sure. he was born 1905. that's 120 years ago. cool. but see there's also this woman called Florence Scovel Shinn, born 1871. she wrote a book called "The Game of Life and How to Play it". Miss girl was already talking about affirmations BACK THEN. it's not magic, it's not "brainwashing yourself". it literally fucking works.

II. how do you affirm?

choose one sentence, or multiple sentences that imply you having that desire already. some people like talking in the future tense. I always prefer saying the affirmation as if it has already happened.

so, for instance:

I want a dog → "I have a dog"

I want to get a good grade → "I got an A in my test"

I want to shift realities → "I am in my desired reality"

you repeat this sentence (or sentences) over and over in your mind or out loud if you're home alone ;). you can do this sitting in silence if you have that willpower. but I like to affirm while doing mundane tasks. instead of doomscrolling on TikTok, I choose to use the time to draw, or clean, or walk, or do anything! while affirming.

III. how to find and choose the "right" affirmations

you can

make them up yourself

go on Pinterest and search "affirmations for x"

sometimes, it's best to simply choose one single affirmation that sums up well what you want to have. that way, your brain won't have to do a lot of work remembering it. after you repeat the same sentence over and over, it will get use to the sound of it. you will start affirming unconsciously.

and here I will start with my PERSONAL preferences and tips when choosing an affirmation. I consider myself a very musical (?) or phonetical person. I love when words could be sung or when they rhyme. I love hearing them and I like saying them. so for example, I make my affirmations sound nice so I don't get annoyed while repeating them in my mind, like: "I love maths because they're easy" sounds better FOR ME than "Maths are so easy for me". does that make sense? whatever, you do NOT need to overcomplicate like me it it's so simple trust 🤞

IV. umbrella affirmations

"but dolly, what if I want to manifest a lot of different things at once?"

queen do not fear, umbrella affirmations are here 🥹❤️‍🩹 umbrella affirmations are affirmations that imply that you have a list of things that you've already listed somewhere before.

for example;

"I have everything on my list" (you write a list of your desires first)

"I look like my dream self" (you already have an idea of what your "dream self" looks like)

"He/She is fully manifested" (you wrote a list of a desired person you want to have in your life and affirm this)

V. wavering? doubts? results?

I honestly think wavering is not a problem at all, nor doubts. the biggest "issue" I'd say is looking for the result and wondering when they will come. because queen if we affirmed that we ALREADY have it then why are we searching for it??🥀

if you get a thought opposite to your affirmation, SWITCH it around! for example;

"I am so ugly" → I want to be pretty → "Sybau I'm beautiful"

"What if I never shift?" → I want to shift every time I try → "Girl stfu I've already shifted countless times before!"

It's all a mind game!

VI. my personal advice

after years of learning and practicing manifestation, I've found that I manifest sooo fast by just affirming and forgetting. like, I robotically affirm for a day or two and move on with my life. because at that point I'm just confident that I already manifested it. I already did what I was supposed to. now the universe will do the rest of the work because im lazy asf haha. and if I physically can't ignore my circumstances, then I just tell myself "It's not real"/"It's just a glitch in the matrix" because honestly, it's the truth! The 3d doesn't create your thoughts, it's the other way around.

Hope this helps!!!

what is dolly manifesting today?

a post inspired by @wheretearsflow (sorry kiss I will stop spam tagging you!!) because today will be the most chic (chique-est??) day of my life

to have my hair cut and dyed perfectly (going to the hairdresser tday hashtag shitting my pants (jk it will look so good))

free food. doesn't matter from who or when!! and that it's good please

a compliment from a stranger that feels so specific that it just has to be magic

all my trains and buses arriving PERFECTLY on time right when I step on the stop. I won't have to wait for anything today!!

a study session that feels like a breeze.

the whole day to have a really strong autumn aura to it. I'm talking cold weather. tights.

arriving on time everywhere and feeling NO stress whatsoever.

YALL WHAT THE FUCK AS I WAS TYPING THIS MY DAD WOKE UP, DAID HIS MEETING WAS CANCELLED AND THAT HE CAN DRIVE ME TO THE HAIRDRESSER I would've had to get the train for 1 hour and 20 minutes to get there 😭😭

the day hasn't even started and I'm already divinely blessed <3

wishing u all a beautiful day (or night!)

⠀⠀⠀⠀hogwarts sex ed 101 . . . there wasn't one ,

ok so. sex ed at hogwarts. 1977. marauders era. the year god said 'what if i put all the bisexuals in one school and didn't teach them a single thing about genitals, boundaries, or the consequences of dry humping in a cupboard.' he did. welcome to the british wizarding education system. funded by divorce, powered by unresolved tension. narrated by emma. you're welcome for this very necessary and useful piece of information.

so. no. there wasn't sex ed at hogwarts. like. not even the ghost of it. not even a euphemism. not even a pamphlet. there was one stained copy of magical maturity and you in the infirmary and it was locked in a drawer under madam pomfrey's shame. it had illustrations. they moved. someone cursed it in '62 so now it plays low moaning sounds when you turn the pages. sirius black used to check it out "for research" and then giggle in the common room like a french exchange student who just learned the word "thrust."

you've got to understand. this was a school that thought putting a werewolf in an abandoned manor once a month and praying no one opens it was a viable health plan. sex ed??? no. they had banshee management for beginners. they had magical menses: a guide to not hexing your classmates when you're bleeding. they had one seminar on unwanted transformations during puberty but it was mostly about not turning into a beetle when you get horny. which. relatable.

the only people who talked about sex were the portraits. and they were weird about it. sir cadogan once tried to explain contraception using a metaphor involving dragon intestines and a chastity spell invented by merlin's ex. it did not clear things up. students got all their info from older cousins, contraband witch weekly issues, and the backs of chocolate frog cards where someone had scribbled "you can't get pregnant if you're on top" in green ink. wrong. so wrong.

the boys' dorm smelled like socks, and something evil. every time someone mentioned "wand length," james potter made a joke and remus lupin visibly aged five years. lily evans read the female eunuch under her duvet with a stolen wandlight and had a moral crisis every thursday. mary macdonald was the only person in the entire school who knew what a clitoris was. so she became god. people asked her questions like she was the oracle of delphi but for genitals. "mary, can you get pregnant from a bubble-head charm?" "mary, what's foreplay?" "mary, why do my pants feel weird when snape talks about potions?" (and he talked a looooot about them. subtle foreshadowing). my girl was busy. marlene was up there too but she never spoke out so she never got her own hotline.

sex was happening. everywhere. god knows it, i know it, you now know it too. in greenhouses, in empty classrooms, in the astronomy tower. it was a budget rom-com with trauma. there was a rumour that if you made out under the whomping willow at the exact moment it smacked a bird out of the air, you'd lose your virginity by osmosis. again, wrong. someone tried it. got concussed.

teachers pretended none of it existed. mcgonagall's sex talk was "don't get caught." dumbledore's was just making intense eye contact with you over a lemon drop and saying "magic is a sacred bond." slughorn had absolutely hosted orgies in the '20s. sprout once gave a lecture on pollination that made half the class cry and the other half extremely confused about flowers.

if you asked filch where babies came from, he'd say "the ministry" and limp away. if you asked peeves, he'd mime something unspeakable and then chant "one-two buckle-my-shoe, syphilis is after you!" honestly not even the worst advice.

but. like. this wasn't unique to hogwarts. this was just. britain. the 70s. everyone was either having sex or terrified of it or convinced it could be cured with chamomile tea. sirius black had a whole phase where he thought wanking made you go blind. he wore sunglasses for three weeks. refused to explain.

anyways. do not confundus your girlfriend's uterus. do not confundus anything. read a book. read two books.

also let's talk shame. catholic levels of repression. protestant levels of awkwardness. dionysian levels of impulse control. no one knew what they were doing and everyone was pretending. people said stuff like "deflowering" and meant it. they thought it was romantic. they thought love looked like sneaking into the potions dungeon and dry-humping to the sound of dripping cauldrons. they thought "i want to feel your magic inside me" was a line. it was not. it was a red flag on fire.

⠀⠀⠀so. was there sex ed at hogwarts?

no. but there was sexual miseducation. there were bad metaphors. there were prefects giving unsolicited advice in the lav.

and if you're wondering where i was in all this . . . i was that girl. i saw everything. i judged everyone. i'm dating a slytherin boy and i'm never confessing anything, even if the lord shall taketh me away no. absolutely not. expelliarmus.

i'm not saying i saved hogwarts. but i did tape an illustrated anatomy chart to the wall of the girls' bathroom and label it in four languages. i did distribute cursed zines about safe sex that moaned when opened. i did hex someone's trousers off for saying "girls don't get horny." you're welcome, feminists.

sex ed at hogwarts was me. and mary. and trauma. and bad latin. and the slow, horrible realisation that magic doesn't replace literacy.

we learned. painfully. and now i'm sharing it.

⠀i do have a masterlist where you can catch all of my stories oh em gee.....

" there is no new information on here "

there is nothing new. no revelation, no eureka moment, no half-lit epiphany waiting in the wings to drape itself over you like some scene-stealing ingenue. not in shifting, not in loa. this is not a murder mystery; the butler did it, the secret was never secret, and the call is always coming from inside the house.

but then again, the debate flares up, bright and exhausted, like the end of a cigarette crushed against marble. tiktok is misinformation central, tumblr is an echo chamber, et cetera, et cetera. apples and oranges, atomic bomb and coughing baby. false equivalence. but sure, let’s pretend.

if you think the community is boring, i regret to inform you: you are looking for the plot twist in a story that does not require one. you are waiting for the second act crisis in a structure that is flat by design. you are watching water boil and bemoaning its predictability. shifting is easy. loa is easy. the mechanics are not some esoteric alchemy known only to those who speak in riddles or upcharge pdf guides. you just do it. you know and it happens.

but there will always be some industrious soul stepping onto their soapbox, announcing, with the breathless urgency of a man who has cracked the zodiac cipher, that they have discovered "the secret." as if there is some clandestine order, some walled garden of enlightenment, some ineffable password to be whispered at the gates of the promised land. but let’s be serious. it’s all one big game of emperor’s new clothes. the trick is that there is no trick. the prestige is that there is no prestige.

people will dress up the simple in filigree because they cannot handle the terrifying freedom of ease. they will spin their wheels because stillness scares them more than failure. they will reject the plain truth in favor of the labyrinthine lie because, deep down, they want the struggle. the suffering. the uphill battle. because what are we without a climb? what are we if it’s just......easy?

you don’t need another revelation, another discourse, another rearrangement of the same three puzzle pieces. shifting is easy. loa is easy. and the only real "secret" is accepting that it always was.

Basically i'm asking for the ROUTINE of the QUEEN!

Pls excuse me if i'm annoying or if that question already been asked ! But i'd like a post like this before u go 🙏🙂‍↕️!!!!

my shifting routine.

so. you wanna know my pre-shift routine !!!! you wanna get a peek behind the proverbial curtain, see the machinations, the gears turning, the genius at work !!!!!! well, okay, pull up a chair and let me walk you through it, but let’s be clear!!!!! my routine can definitely be different from yours. not all the maps will lead to the same journey.

i don’t do awake methods, i dunno why, i just never really wanted to try them. no staring at the ceiling waiting for some divine hand to yank me into another reality. no breathwork, no tensing my body like i’m about to drop into some cia black site. no. i’m a sleeper. i drift. i get comfortable, and i let the universe do the heavy lifting. we (i) call this the anti-method (both usable for inducing the void&&shifting). the absence of method. the sheer, unadulterated rejection of trying, because trying is for people who think this is difficult, and i do not have that affliction. it’s like shifting for people who are too cool to try (aka me, aka you now).

so here’s what happens !!!! i wrap myself in blankets. i mean it, total sensory deprivation chamber vibes, the womb reborn. i cocoon, i hibernate. i burrito. if there’s music, it’s there to lull me, not lead me. my first long shift was silent. the subsequent ones.....sometimes clairo, sometimes piano, sometimes the sound of my own thoughts unraveling like a cassette tape i’ve played one too many times. kewl !!!

and then, the secret sauce....... i affirm. not in the way you think. not in the “i am already in my dr” kind of affirmation. no, we (i) don’t think here. we (once again...i) assume. i lay there, nestled in my own self-importance, and i think, “what if i shifted? and i just forgot?”

and that’s it. that’s the whole trick. the mind buckles under its own certainty, folds inward, short-circuits on the possibility, and next thing i know? i’m there. i’ve been there. maybe i was always there. maybe you were too, and you just haven’t looked up from your own narrative long enough to notice.

so, you wanted a routine......here it is. now go forth. pop off. get shifted. go use it, or don’t. either way, i’ve already shifted. maybe you have too........maybe you just forgot.

how valentine’s day was in my better cr : a novella, a fever dream, an aesthetic experience, a love story to end all love stories

monday, tuesday : civilian behaviour. school, the humdrum, the daily grind, except coryo is the chauffeur of my suburban dreams, picking me up in the mornings like a perfectly curated boyfriend playlist, and we drive to school, me, unbothered, in the passenger seat of destiny. i love hiiimmmm. but wednesday. wednesday !!!

5pm. the text : pack some things. vague, thrilling, mysterious ???? like a mission briefing, but sexy. i throw my essentials into a bag because intuition tells me that valentine's day will be an event. at 7pm, he picks me up. drives me to the airport. his jet. HIS JET. no hints, no peeks, just the casual absurdity of a seven-hour flight into the abyss of love. i fall asleep on his shoulder like a tragic heroine, a modern-day sleeping beauty, only to be carried (yes, carried !!!!!!!! he's my prince charming) to the car when we land at 4am in paris. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

the ritz. the hemingway suite. i mean, come ON. i am in sweats, barely lucid, but my god, does he know me. paris at 4am is a whisper, a love letter, an empty museum of its own beauty. we sleep another six hours in the kind of sheets that feel like being swaddled by luxury itself. then, valentine’s day begins.

10am . . . breakfast in bed : croissants, honey, mimosas, little tea cakes that taste like poetry. he gifts me a heart-shaped pandora charm with diamonds, and i think, ‘sweet, simple.’ except, no. there is more. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM.

12pm . . . musée d'orsay, because of course he knows me. at a cafe, he sneaks another charm onto the coffee plate. a beauty and the beast rose. i stare at him like he invented romance. i am giggling. i am twirling my hair. i am about to FAINT from love.

1pm . . . rue saint-honoré. he drags me into miu miu (i want to sob), buys me the little nappa hair clips, and then clips one into my hair outside before kissing my forehead. this man is a disease and i am not looking for a cure. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM. he's almost about to drag me into louis vuitton and i'm making a run from it because i'd marry him. which is bad because we're 17 !!!!! no marriage !!!

2pm . . . ilang. my favourite restaurant. a shrine to my good taste (no, seriously, if you're in paris...go there ASAP. they have the best best bessssssstttttt korean food).

then, the champs-élysées, where pda levels reach new highs, where he buys me a box of ladurée macarons and matching love rings. this is sickening. i have to reciprocate. i buy him an acne studios scarf to match his coat and my miu miu bag, because symmetry is key in love and fashion. i love hiiimmmm. i can barely stand it.

4pm . . . we share airpods, clairo’s ‘juna’ plays, he spins me around on the street, and at this point, i am beyond salvation. send help. (don’t send help.) I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM. he takes like 100 pictures of me, and i swat him a few times. like....tenderly.

dinner : a boat restaurant, eiffel tower views, romance so potent it should be illegal. dessert comes with a love letter. this man. this fucker. i hate him. i love him. (six times over.) actually, seven. i love hiiimmmm.

by the time we're walking back to our hotel, he wraps his scarf around my hair like i'm a 60s french heroine.

11pm . . . we get back. and.

morning. . . i wake up : first, kiss him on the cheek, shift back.

et voilà. a love story, a weekend, a work of art, a religious experience. i will never be the same. i love hiiimmmm. endlessly.