Crossroads 2
Good Omens x reader Part 1 Word count: 4,763 Warnings: Discussions of war, religion, mentions of death and violence AO3 Notes: It's a long one so buckle up.I DON'T OWN THIS GIF
The plan was devised. Crowley will take the Anti-Christ to the chapter, the American politician and his wife will show up, she gives birth, and the nuns swap their child out for the dark lords son.
Sounded easy enough.
In actual practice…it was a bit more chaotic. Especially when you decide to tip the scales.
You and Crowley entered the elevator.
“So babies come from demons, not storks” Crowley let out the smallest huff at your lame attempt at a joke. “You didn't say how you felt about all of this.” He glanced at you with raised eyebrows.
“The apocalypse thing or everything everything?”
You shrugged, “One is the result of the other.” He hummed, “In general I think it's a waste. All that time used to create such a vast and complicated world just to end it before it could hit a million.” You looked at his side profile, “Very poetic…and I couldn't agree more. I wasn't around for the very beginning of it like you were, but I can imagine how nice it was up there.” You brought your gaze to your feet, “You did good with the stars by the way. They're nice.” It was Crowley's turn to look at your side profile, a small smile gracing his features. “They are, aren't they?”
There was a beat of silence and then he spoke again as you both arrived topside. “So what changed you?” Your brows came together, “What do you mean?”
“You know,” he gestured vaguely, “you- well you're not very demon-y by not fighting for ‘The Great Plan’. So I'm curious what happened to you that made you turn your back on Hell.” You scratched your head, “Oh, well it's a long story. I don't want to bore you.” You let out an awkward laugh. The truth was you didn't want Crowley to know the real reason you quote, ‘turned your back on Hell’, it was a horror story. One of death and destruction, not something you easily shared. Definitely not when this demon was friends/acquaintances/whatever with an angel. You didn't even think to wonder if said angel knew who you really were, what you had done in the past.
“Give me the abridged version.” You crossed the road towards the bookshop. “I-The war of the Fallen was taxing for everyone and I simply don't want to use my energy on such frivolous things again. It's the Sloth in me.” Again you let out an awkward laugh this time Crowley didn't give much of a reaction to this joke. “I see.” He didn't look convinced but he didn't continue pushing.
The two of you stopped at the doors of the store and he turned to face you, “I imagine the deal has been fulfilled now. You don't need to follow me to the birth, do you?” You shook your head, “No I guess I don't…” A sudden thought popped into your head, what if you dipped your hand into this swap? What if you tipped the scales?
“Would it be alright if I did though? Or at least be around?” He stared at you for a moment. “Why?” You shrugged your shoulders and let the fib easily slip from your lips, “It’s the Anti-Christ, why not?” You hoped he'd take the bait. You did feel a bit guilty for lying to Crowley but hey, it was only a little white lie. “To be honest I can't help but be curious. Half human, half celestial demon? Is he gonna have hooves? Horns? Weird eyes? The possibilities are endless.” You huffed a chuckle and internally cringed, you were so bad with small talk and by the look on Crowley's face, he thought so too. “I'll see you at the convent then.” You nodded, “See you there.” Not wanting to embarrass yourself any longer, you turned on your heel and fast walked out of there.
Finally it was the night. The Anti-Christ was to be born. You stood outside the chapter and took in the scenery, lush and green. Your hellhounds were running around and rubbing themselves in the grass, big slobbery tongues hanging out from smiling jaws. You couldn't help but smile at them, they were so cute. Crouching down you gave the one on the ground a belly rub, her ears perked and tail wagged wildly, smacking you hard on the leg. “Who's my pretty girl? Such a good girl, having fun in the grass.” She let out a deep distorted bark and continued to revel in your affection. As you were distracted you missed the sound of paws pounding onto the ground as they grew closer to you but all you know is one minute you were up and the next you were splayed out on your back and getting covered in saliva. “Oof-! Awe come on!” You laughed and tried to shove the demonic dog off you, “That's enough,” Your other two soon joined in and laid down on you, effectively pinning you to the ground as their packmate continued to give you doggy kisses. “No! Sto-thats enough!” You could barely get the words out between laughs but thankfully the hound stopped and sat on your chest, pushing all the air out of your lungs.
“Okay big guy I get it.” You wheezed out. Reaching a hand up you gave him a good scritch behind the ear, his big heavy head leaned into your fingers. A low grumble reverberated through him and you. It made you laugh again. “You big goof.” With your other hand you reached out to the other two who laid on both of your legs. “Alright, up, everybody up!” They perked up and stood immediately, tails wagging wildly again as they could tell it was almost time to work. “Okay guys so the plan is to corner the nuns so we can swap the babies and then little Anti-Christ won't grow up in America and we can give some other sad couple a happy little baby…who could end the world.” Yeah your plan wasn't very well thought out. In theory you wanted to do it like Moses, send him down a path that would end with him in the hands of someone wonderful who will raise him to be a good person.
One of the hounds brushed against you and whined. There was an ambulance rushing down the road. And there was another set of lights behind it, and another. You were confused but then remembered there was a politician in one of those cars, the rest must be security. The cars pulled up in increments. The ambulance had a brunette woman come out with a couple of men in suits, they helped her to the doors but also lugged a device that had a man on the screen. Odd. The next car had a couple exit it, one man and a woman, both hobbling towards the front doors as well. Two women? But you thought- a black Bentley booming with music pulls up last and the redhead you've been waiting for comes out, basket in hand. He looks across the yard and makes eye contact with you, his eyebrows raising in question. You nod and begin your way over, your hounds trailing behind.
“Big ones aren't they?” You smirked, “What can I say, I feed them good.” He returned the amusement. “Why'd you bring them anyway?” You gave one of the hounds a scratch, “Letting them stretch their legs that's all.” You looked at the basket, “That him?” Crowley looked down at the basket with an uninterested look, “Yeah.” Walking closer you pointed, “Can I take a peak?” Crowley lifted the basket towards you, immediately the hounds crowded the two of you. “Gentle.” Ears were perked and swiveling, curious and cautious. You lifted the blanket and looked inside, it was a normal human baby but power radiated from him. He smelled like lavender and smoke. You could almost call him cute. “You'd never guess he'd bring the end of the world. Poor thing.” You dropped the blanket and straightened back up, the hounds still walked in circles around Crowley sniffing everything, you snapped your fingers and they came back to your side. “Guess it's time to get the party started aye?”
Crowley looked over his shoulder to the convent, “Yeah it's time for the main event.” He turned and strutted into the chapter.
Now it was your turn.
At first you didn’t move, second guessing to yourself. Was this a good idea?
Again, a hound nuzzled at your thigh and whined. Clearly they were growing antsy.
“Alright here’s the plan. You need to corner the nun who will be swapping the babies and do not let her leave until she surrenders the child. Guard the baby and come get me. And do not let Crowley know what we’re doing. Understood?” The Hellhounds yipped and howled in response, tails wagging and tongues out. You gave them a nod and they ran off. You flicked a finger and opened the door. You entered a moment later watching the hounds who had their noses in the air trying to sniff out the baby. After turning a couple of corners they saw a nun pushing two carts. They attacked. They surrounded the nun, snarling and snapping their jaws. The nun let out a yelp and brought the bassinets closer to her person. One of the hounds left to retrieve you and when you came into the room, you couldn’t help but be confused. “Why do you have two?” The nun stared at you with fear and didn't speak. “Where’s the Anti-Christ?” She remained silent. You could sense the child was in the general area but couldn’t pinpoint him. You let your eyes glow red, “Speak nun. Why do you have two babies?” She took a step back and your hounds got closer, one of them going as far as biting her habit in an attempt to keep her in place. “Who are you?” You furrowed your brow, “I’m a demon and I need to know where the Anti-Christ is.”
“I have him and the other woman's baby.” You sighed, “What the fuck?…okay, give them to me.” The nuns grip tightened on the bassinets , “We weren’t told this was a part of the plan.” You growled and shot your hand out to her, palm up waiting for her to push the carriers in your direction. “Change of plans, I’ve been entrusted to do the swap. Now give me the offspring” She hesitantly moved the bassinets into your hands. “Good,” You turned and barked out an order, “Watch her and don’t let anyone in.” You stormed the halls and walked to the blonde woman's room. You stopped outside the room and took a deep breath, this was insane, you were quite literally changing the world right now. You had your back to the door and walked backwards, pushing the door open with your bum.
“Here’s your child! Healthy and ready to go.” You placed the Anti-Christ next to the father. “What’s with the other baby?” You let out a fake laugh and looked at the other cart, “Oh! There was another woman who gave birth in the ward, I thought it’d be easier to bring both of them back instead of making two trips.” The father hummed in agreement, “Two birds with one stone.” You chuckled and nodded, “Yep! Well congratulations and luck to you both.” Spinning around you left the room and started to fast walk to the politicians room but as you got closer you saw the door was open. “Hello Warlock.”
Shit.
They had already given the American a baby. The child you had must either be the British baby or the one the Chapter already had. Either way you are now standing in the hallway with the extra baby. How the fuck were you going to get rid of this baby?
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It was only a few days of you going back into your regular routine when you got to give the extra baby away. It was to a mother who was willing to sell her soul to have a son. You were extremely lucky to have had such an opportunity fall into your lap. And maybe you'll take her soul in 7 years and the kid will grow up fine, right?
The whole ordeal was chaotic but technically a win for you, the Anti-Christ was going to grow up a somewhat normal life with no celestial supernatural interference. You just hope he won’t hate the world when he comes of age.
During the night of the swap you didn’t bump into Crowley after your initial hello. But now you stood outside The Ritz. Crowley and his angel friend were inside, he had asked you to meet them there. He never gave a good reason why, just vaguely said something about drinking to Armageddon. You didn’t have anything to lose and only you, your hounds, and that one nun knew what really happened that night.
You saw the two of them at a table, the angel eating some kind of cake. “Y/n! Have a seat.” Crowley waved you over. “Hello Crowley, and?” You waited for the angel to introduce himself. “Aziraphale.” You stuck a hand out, “Y/n, it’s nice to meet you properly.” The angel looked at your hand apprehensively, “Sorry. Habit.” You wiped your hand on your pant leg and sat. Silently beating yourself up. There’s no way you just tried to shake hands with an angel, shake hands, you, the crossroads demon, with an angel. You were mortified. “Anyways,” Crowley broke the tension, “How would you say the swap went y/n?” You took a sip of water to quench the sudden anxiety his question brought. “Um, good! Yeah, good, everything went to plan.” Aziraphale had his eyes casted down on his dessert, “Even with the second woman showing up?” You took another big gulp, “Yeah, surprisingly, everything went smoothly.” Crowley hummed, “I didn’t see much of you inside. I thought I saw you come in after me.” You looked at him for a second trying to decipher if he was suspicious of you or if he was asking genuinely. You found yourself at the ladder. “I did go in for a bit. After you handed the baby over I hung out in the hallway and watched the nuns do their thing.” Neither of them questioned you further on the subject.
Aziraphale took another bite of his cake. “What kind of cake is that?” You asked as you eyed the sweet. “It’s a strawberry shortcake.” Your eyes shot from the plate to Crowley as he propped his arm up on the table, his hand rubbing the underside of his chin, watching Aziraphale take another bite. You observed for a moment before copying him, leaning slightly towards the angel, “Sounds good. I’ve never had one from here before, how would you rate it?” The angel chewed for a moment before closing his eyes and relishing in the deliciousness. He let out a pleasant hum, “It’s the perfect blend of sweet and a little tart. They always have the best strawberries. Positively scrumptious.” You smiled, “I’ll have to try it sometime.” Aziraphale met your eyes and finally took notice of how you were a little closer, the angel sat back a little in his chair but sent a very small, again apprehensive, smile before turning to Crowley. “So, what are you in the mood for now?” The demon didn’t miss a beat, “Alcohol.” He grabbed his spoon and hit the side of his wine glass, “Quite extraordinary amounts of alcohol.” You couldn’t help but laugh at him. This caused both beings to look over at you. “Do you partake y/n?” The angel had that innocent cherub look on his face. You shrugged, “Sometimes, only certain occasions really.” Crowley stood, “There’s nothing more certain than this. Come on.” He started to saunter away, Aziraphale stuttered out a noise before getting up and trailing behind him leaving you at the table. With the bill. Or at least you assumed, you pulled a couple hundreds out of thin air and left them under Aziraphales plate.
The two of them were in the front seats of the Bently while you clambered into the back, “Thanks for leaving me with the bill guys.” Crowley glanced at you in the rearview mirror, “You paid the bill?” You made eye contact, “Obviously. You two left without paying.” Aziraphale looked over his shoulder, “Oh we always miracle money after.” You deadpanned, “Wow, thanks for telling me. I could’ve used that money.” The duo looked at each other, Crowley shrugged and pulled onto the road. Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder at you again, “I’m surprised you paid.” You looked at him a little confused, “Why?” This time he shrugged, “You’re a demon, that’s all.” He shifted in his seat and turned his gaze out the window, “I would think giving money to humans would be…” He trailed off. “What? Beneath me? Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I’m an asshole.” Aziraphale didn’t continue. The three of you sat in silence as Crowley zoomed through the streets, Queen playing quietly in the background.
The bently pulled up in front of the bookstore. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry Aziraphale, I didn’t mean to come off as rude.” The angels eyebrows shot up in shock, he swiveled in his seat to look you in the eye, his face twisted in disbelief “Oh…It’s alright. I shouldn’t have implied that you were inconsiderate just because you’re a demon. You’re forgiven.” You nodded, “It’s alright.” He copied you and nodded back, a small smile gracing his face. “I have several very nice bottles of Chateauneuf du Pape in the back. I picked up a dozen cases in 1921 and there’s still some left for special occasions.” Crowley whipped open his door, “Lovely, let’s go!” The lanky man got out and made his way to the front doors quickly. Aziraphale darted his eyes to you, studying you.
You could feel his stare, it was a little unnerving. You suppose he’s only really ever been around Crowley and just assumed no other demon had the same morals as them, at least you hoped that’s why he was looking at you that way. “Well I’m pretty excited to try this wine.” You spoke as you got out of the car, not wanting to be subjected to the angels analysing any longer.
Aziraphale followed behind and brought his keys out of his pocket. Crowley cocked his hip out, “Say they’re not very big on wine in Heaven are they there? I’m never gonna get any more nice little Chateauneuf du Pape in Heaven. Or a single malt scotch. Or a little frou-frou cocktails with umbrellas.” Aziraphale let out an exasperated sigh, “Crowley, I’ve told you, I’m not helping you. I’m not interested. This is purely social. I am an angel, you are a demon. We’re hereditary enemies.” He unlocked the front door, “Get thee behind me foul fiend. After you.” Aziraphale smiled and waved his arm out to let Crowley go first. You couldn’t help but snicker at the two of them. What an odd pair.
-Four hours later-
The three of you were positively drunk. Anything and everything was talked about. “What years were the best for you?” Crowley had removed his glasses a bit ago, his yellow eyes looked at you inquisitively. You let out a hum and thought for a moment, “Well the bubonic plague was chaotic. The Renaissance was a lot of fun, parties were great and the innovation I got to inspire. Of course any of the big wars…but definitely after the first world war. Humans were so lost and desperate. It was really sad.” The room is quiet. “It was good for business but I wasn’t happy. Oh! But after, the music, the rejuvenation of it all. What a time.” Aziraphale tilted his head over to you, “Then the depression hit.” You sucked your teeth, “Yeah…but the Titanic-”
-Two more hours past-
Crowley was stumbling around while Aziraphale was sitting in his chair in front of his desk while you were sprawled out in the armchair.
“S-so, wha, what exactly is your point?” Aziraphale could barely keep his head up. “My point is,” Crowley let out a burp, “My point is dolphins. That’s my point.” He walked to the loveseat and flung himself down, “Big brains. Damn big brains. It’s not to mention the whales. Brain city, whales.”
“Kraken.” Aziraphale piped in and let out a big blow of air, “Ooo great big bugger.” He lowered his voice for dramatic effect. “Supped to rise up to the surface right, right up,” He pointed his finger in the air, “Right up at the end. When the sea boils.” You nodded, “The Kraken…he’s pretty cool.” The angel and demon looked at you, “You know the Kraken?” You shrugged your shoulders, “Yeah? We’re both from the third circle. Practically grew up together, the leviathans were not the best nannies but they did what they could.” The two of them looked at you like you grew another head.
Then Crowley sat up and leaned towards the angel, “Wha-, that’s my point. Whole sea bubbling, the dolphins and whales, everybody turning into buwe, bwu, buwuw, baby.” Aziraphale tried to copy Crowley, lips stuck out in a purse. You shook with laughter while Crowley continued with his ‘point’, “Fish stew, anyway, it’s not their fault. And that’s same with gorillas, they say like ‘whoop!’. They say, ‘ah the sky’s gone red, there’s-’ “ Crowley started slicing his hand through the air, “Stars crashing down and what are they putting in bananas these days?!” Crowley got up to pace. You hummed and nodded, taking a swig of wine.
“They’re all creatures, great and small.” Aziraphale cradled his cup and lost his gaze to a random spot on the wall. Crowley turned to face the two of you, “You know what’s worse, when it’s all over, you’ve got to deal with eternityyy!” His voice went super high at the end which causes you to wince and cover your ears. “Crowley!” You said fruitlessly.
“Eternity?” Aziraphale also righted himself in his seat. You watched his expression grow uncertain and nervous. You spoke, “Yeah the rest of our lives will be spent stuck in our respective places. Boring.” You tipped your head back and downed the rest of your glass. “No it won’t be so bad at first. Although,” He waltzed over and picked up a book, “No Stephen Sondheim first nights in eternity I'm afraid.” Aziraphale looked over at you with a pained expression which you couldn’t help but mirror. “Although I have heard rumors that your boss really loves ‘The Sound of Music’!” Aziraphale shook his head and groaned loudly. “Fancy spending eternity watching that? You could literally climb every mountain over and over and over and over-” Crowley kept repeating till Aziraphale butted in, “I-I don’t like it anymore than you do but I told you, I-I can’t diso-not do what I’m told.” You grimaced at him. “An angel- I, um I, I can’t cope with this while I’m drunk. I’m going to sober up.”
“Yeah me too.” You sighed, “Guess I should too.” The three of you reversed the liquor back into the bottles. “You know I will miss whales, they’re so cool.” You let out another sigh, this one more sad. “I’m gonna miss Earth…” The angel looked at you solemnly. “Yes, it will be a difficult loss but it is to be destroyed.” Your shoulders sagged a bit more. Crowley opened his mouth to add in but a sudden red light pierced the room.
“What is that?” Aziraphale looked around.
You groaned and stood up, stretching your arms up toward the ceiling, “Sorry, that’s me. Duty calls.” The red light emanated from the palms of your hands. You look down at them briefly, the light seering into your eyes.
You shook your hands a little and walked to the front door, “I see why the two of you are friends. It’s rather pleasant to have someone. I hope the two of you don’t mind if I come back every once in awhile” Aziraphale glanced at Crowley who met his eyes, the demon shrugged and turned his head back to you. The angel blinked a few times then copied the demon and put his attention back on you and spoke after clearly his throat, “I don’t see why not.” Aziraphale gave you one of his smiles, there was still something hidden underneath it but you’ll take it over nothing.
“I’ll see you around then.” You smiled at them as you wrapped a knuckle on the door, the door jam glowed red, wisps of crimson ichor seeping from the cracks. You pushed the door open to reveal a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, “Thank you for today.” Aziraphale gave a small wave. Crowley nodded, “Yeah see you.” You left through the door.
The bookshop was silent.
Crowley turned back to Aziraphale who was sitting up stock straight with wide eyes trained on the now closed door. He was stiff and unmoving, all traces of emotion drained from his face. Crowley quickly became concerned.
“What?”
“I forgot who that was until all of that happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“Crowley that was The Beast.”
“I’m not following, I thought, you know, the devil was The Beast.”
“How do you not know? You’re a demon! You of all beings should know about them.”
“Be an angel and enlighten me. There’s a million demons I have met over the years.”
“During The War,” Aziraphale swallowed, “There was a creature, a monster, who killed everything and anything in its path.” He stared at the front door, gaze unwavering. “Lower ranked angels, higher ranked angels, arch angels…” There was a shaky exhale, “I can’t believe I forgot till now. There was almost nothing left of any of them, if or when we could find them. Not that celestial beings would leave material things in this plane but due to the nature of our circumstances-”
“I get it, angel.” Crowley stared at Aziraphales side profile, taking in his truly frightened expression. Aziraphales words brought memories back. Images passing through both their minds. Scenes that had been stored away bubbling back to the surface. The screams, blood, gore, unspeakable tragedies. And Y/n stood at the center.
Crowley remembers it better now, he had fallen not too long before The War had been declared. His body had just finished going through its demonic changes. He stood in a grassy field, the ocean clashing loudly against the rocks nearby. The Earth shook as leviathans and other hellish beings crawled out of the ground. Y/n came out, their form hunched over almost on all fours, their eyes a deep red and glowing, jaw slightly unhinged as they took deep breaths of the new air. Their teeth gnashed against one another, claws gripping the Earth. The Beast.
Most celestial beings were taught about the circles of Hell. Crowley barely remembers those days of being a young angel learning the logistics of everything but, he remembers the circles of Hell. The first 3 circles are nothing but the most evil and vile things you could think of. God threw her first creations, the leviathans, there. They were made to destroy and God couldn't handle having them roaming freely, so, the circles were made. People seem to forget God created Hell. It's a separate plane where a surprisingly self-sufficient ecosystem thrives. Hell creates its own creatures, kind of, the leviathans are powerful beings who happened to have a lot of time on their hands when they were placed down under. Hellhounds, devils, imps, poltergeists, fae, and the first demon were all birthed from the darkness. And when Lucifer was casted down and everything ‘evil’ treated him like any other living being, he decided to take over and give Hell order. That's where the other 6 circles came from.
It was lots of boring info Crowley barely paid attention to and he only ever visited the inner circles one time and he swore to never do it again. Purgatory was enough for him.
But Y/n, the crossroads demon, wasn’t anything like the stories about the monsters that lurked from the inner circles. Crowley has only known y/n for a short while but they hadn’t done anything that would make Crowley think they were evil, truly evil.
Was y/n really The Beast?
