I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes.
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@thesassyblondeone
I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes.
JOHN MULANEY SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 02/29/2020

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“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Psychiatrist, 1926-2004)
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
— Maya Angelou (via naturaekos)
really it is wild that sign language exists and is perfectly accessible and yet its not a taught second language in schools
yeah you can use it under water and in situations where u need to be silent and thats all cool and everything but you can also use it to talk to deaf people which is more than enough reason already. just let sign language be an option in schools.

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Nature photographer Curt Fonger stumbled upon a bobcat sitting atop a 40 foot tall Saguaro cactus in the Arizona desert. The animal was apparently taking refuge from a nearby mountain lion.
(via @karshmallow)
FUN FACT:
i was born on friday the 13th and i weighed 6 pounds 6.6 ounces
nice :-)
I FOUND MY BIRTH RECORD SEE
MY MOM LITERALLY TOLD ME THAT SHE FCKING TOLD THE NURSE IF CREEPY SHIT STARTED HAPPENING IN HER HOSPITAL ROOM SHE WAS GONNA GIVE ME UP FOR ADOPTION
When your friend does a good job.

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Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
HAPPY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG.
Released: 11th December 2009

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i know there’s the joke that as kids we thought that the bermuda triangle and quicksand were way more serious than they actually are but you know what else i thought was a notable danger? whirlpools. i thought they just kind of popped up in the ocean randomly and sucked down giant ships to the bottom of the ocean and it was a big problem.
do you know how many recorded cases there have been of whirlpools sucking down large ships? zero. it’s never fucking happened in real life.
what i thought whirlpools were like
vs the actual third largest whirlpool in the world
Not to get emo on main but you ever think about how the troop sang about their dreams of finding “a girl worth fighting for”, and they think their girl worth fighting for is one of romance, but the song abruptly comes to a halt when they find a different girl worth fighting for.
A tiny girl that had been killed at the hands of the Huns. A child too weak, too small to have any chance of withstanding the murderous invaders. That is their girl worth fighting for.