I miss the old me

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@thesaphireblue
I miss the old me

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Nautical twilight. Such a peaceful time of the day.
03/08/17
always be my favorite time of the day
You remind me of the constellation in the sky
and how I get lost just by looking at it
You remind me of the mystery
I cannot unveil
each time this thing races so fast
You remind me of joy
just like a child laughing her heart out of simple things.
At the end of the day when I’m all alone  I am only left with realizations.
in the middle of the field a pale girl stood staring at the moon, emitting a silver radiant light For a moment the pain that she's been bearing started to run off she burst into tears, she cried she fell into the ground the wind dried her tears as if like an old friend the crickets serenaded her sooothing her writhing pain midnight daffodils caressed her as if like a mother gently lulling her baby to sleep she broke the silence, she hollered loudly in the middle of the field relinquishing the battle she was fighting it awakens the opposing entity and suddenly they backed off that was the end of her misery she turned into an invicible person

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most victims hide in silence
most victims dwell in darkness
they blend in as normals in a day-to-day life
but just like the waves in the shore
grim past ebbs back and forth
they are unsteady
they fake it until they make it
they walk with us, talk with us,
Suddenly, you just found yourself lost in the rides of thoughts. You're in a free fall. A fall that doesn't hurt that much. A ride of excitement, a ride of fear, and a ride of taking risk, choices, and chances. A lot has been going through inside you, and then there's that increasing speed reaching the peak of thoughts. Then a sudden silence hangs above and before you know it your inching your way down real fast, you're falling. But a different kind of falling rushes over you. It's the sense of adventure leaving you the way you had never imagined.
When you know already, don't deny it.
I was out for a long time, now I'm coming back.
I was my own knight
wielding heavy swords and golden shields
warding off enemies.

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I always have this habit of picking flowers, because I thought I deserve to give myself something beautiful.
Best Hunters
Memories are the best hunters I've ever known. They pierce right through you in the center. They chase you even in the broad daylight, they wil never let you rest in your silent night. Artemis and her sworn hunters couldn't do it that far, only memories can. Even how miles you got away from it when it hunts you they will always have way of tracking you down. Running from it is no use for its arrows will always be behind you.
The Old Man
I used to wander around our place
and everytime I walk down that street
I always see that same man outside their house
with those smokey-grey hair, wearing those worn-out nostalgic eyes, wrinkleds etched on his skin
slouched heavily on his wheelchair
with gnarled fingers tracing the arms of his chair
staring at nothing
until such time when I roamed around
striking the stones with the soles of my feet
I came to a stop
turned my head left
and saw an empty space
Death kindly stopped for him
and took him
He just grinned.
I Am My Own Rival
Everyday I cast the sheet beside my bed
waking up to the reality that there was a hole inside of me
feeling the same day after day
can’t seem to get my eyes close in this darkness
and keep on fooling myself in this mess
walking on the street whole but hollow
drowning myself on this shallow
this is no mere game
this is a battle I’m not sure I’m winning
and it’s a Shame!
keep on fightingÂ
but I don’t know who I’m facing
the hush seems to shut me behind
deserting me in the turmoil
I’m done with the lies I made
I placed myself in this cascade
in the shards of windows
see a broken reflection
of a formidable foeÂ
trapped inside of me
How will you know that you let go of something that is good? your heart latches to the idea of that thing and it doesn’t get you bored everyday you just can’t stop the train of thoughts chugging inside your brain and maybe not too little grain of regret- that’s what you gain.

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You left me with little things that reminds me of your presence.
The heart has a dark side that fills with sadness. The lies, the secrets, the flowery fake words that have a different motive and the things that make us worry. All our dealings met with hostility and we are not immune to any of it.
Michael Daaboul ~ Dark Side of the Heart (via michaeldaaboul)