They could both hear other voices, but couldn't make out any words. The sound of talking was too far away and there was nothing distinct. They couldn't even see anyone else and mostly heard the gentle splashing from a waterfall nearby. It felt nice and isolated - if not a little confusing to one of them.
“Cameras followed us here,” Kotetsu said, not trusting the relaxing atmosphere as much as he wanted to. “There were interviews, and so much obsessing over what we were wearing, and just so much publicity. But it feels like we're alone...” He didn't have a problem with that normally, but things were a little rocky between them.
“Well, they weren't going to come into the hot springs while we actually bathe. The onsen doesn't really allow photos and videos,” Barnaby said matter-of-factly, leaning back against the large grey rock behind him.
“They don't?”
“This one doesn't.” Barnaby let out a relaxed sigh, closing his eyes. “It's rather private and expensive.”
“I can only imagine the cost to come in here for normal people,” Kotetsu mumbled and looked at the expanse of water before them, bordered by rocks with trees and beautiful green plants on the land. “This place is huge. I thought at least we'd all be in the same area but I can only barely hear the others!”
“Of course they left us alone.” Barnaby's voice had an edge of annoyance to it. “Everyone wants us to make-up, you know.”
“Ah...” Kotetsu fidgeted beneath the hot water, wishing he had pockets to shove his hands in, or something. But he only had on a thin pair of green shorts, so he settled for reaching behind himself and pulling at some leaves that hung out over the water a little. Anxiety hung over him like a dark cloud. It hung over both of them and it was hard to relish in the feel of the water around him.
“I'm still angry,” Barnaby said, eyes still closed. Of course he would be, after what Kotetsu had pulled. He was infuriated, and Kotetsu was surprised he was sitting there next to him despite it. Barnaby had yelled a lot, cried a lot, and even punched a hole in their apartment, so perhaps it was out of his system, but he was still unhappy.
Kotetsu completely understood, but he also wished Barnaby could see it. He had to step aside. It was the right thing to do, to give Barnaby what he deserved – a partner who wouldn't fuck up, who would keep him in first league, and guarantee he was never laughed at for being with a worthless, powerless hero.
He continued to pull at the leaves. “I know.”
“I'm still hurt.”
Kotetsu cringed. “I know....”
“I still can't believe you thought that was okay.”
“Then why are you over here with me?” Kotetsu asked. He didn't want Barnaby to go, not at all, but he knew he probably deserved the cold shoulder for his ill-thought out tactic.
Barnaby didn't answer at first. He just frowned. Kotetsu knew why. He asked a dumb question with an answer that was obvious, but he needed to hear that answer. He absolutely needed it, downright desperately. What he had done left him worried that he would push Barnaby too far away and lose him forever, and while he hadn't there were still words he needed to hear.
“Because...”
“Yes?” Kotetsu prodded, actually poking Barnaby's arm under the water. He looked so serene with his head back, no glasses, and hair starting to go down and flat from the steam and moisture.
Kotetsu loved being able to see him with his hair like that sometimes, a deviation from how he normally wore it for the rest of the world to see.
“Because I love you, Kotetsu. You know that, so why would you ask me?”
Kotetsu let out a long breath as a small weight lifted from his tired shoulders. Barnaby had said those words even in the days prior when he was red in the face and dizzy from yelling, and he had said them while sobbing. Yet, he had not said them when relatively calm, not quietly and whispered like so many times before with his head on Kotetsu's chest and arms wrapped around him.
“It's just something I needed to hear.” His hand sought out Barnaby's and he took it. Barnaby's hand was a little limp as he did not return to light squeeze Kotetsu gave. Kotetsu frowned as that weight immediately returned and he felt even older. He knew they'd lost something, but as Barnaby had not left him, he held hope they could get it back.
He hoped it would be sooner rather than later.
“It's not so bad, Bunny. I'm still there at the end of the day. This way I just don't fuck up.”
“It's not right fighting beside someone else! I can put my life in your hands, but I don't know him at all!” Barnaby said, sounding frustrated as he opened his eyes.
Kotetsu understood that...and it made him feel terrible even before everything happened. “I mess up a lot. I think I might have caused you to get hurt,” he said, and it was something he had said many times in the days before, but it was true. “Bunny I couldn't take it if I failed and hurt you for it.”
Barnaby finally looked right at him, glaring. “You wouldn't fail me. You know that. I trust you so much Kotetsu, even now. Even though you did that...because I know why you did it. You can't trust yourself, that's the damn problem! I don't get it, why do you think it's okay do doubt yourself so much and just let our partnership slip away and...” Barnaby took a deep breath, his cheeks getting red again. “I need to stop. I'm going to yell and really don't want to do that.”
Kotetsu didn't want that either. He was tired of the yelling! It wouldn't fix anything! “Bunny?”
“What?”
Kotetsu smiled a little sadly and looked at the surface of the water before meeting Barnaby's eye. “Bunny I know you're ready to explode right now, it's just that...you haven't kissed me since it happened.”
Barnaby blinked as realization seemed to dawn on him. “I...you're right. I haven't.”
“I guess, with tricking you, and lying and...all that I don't deserve a kiss.” It was true. He could have gone about it all so much better, something he came to know when it was too late. “But I'd really like it. I can sleep on the couch again tonight, or leave, or whatever. But I miss you.” He missed kissing and touching him.
“I-I miss you too.” Barnaby's glare began to ease up, if only by a little bit. “I don't know if I can do that yet, though. I'm still...it's easy to kiss and forget little things, but...”
“You said you still love me.”
“Yes, very much.”
“We can't make it better if we just stay unhappy.” That was true, right? It sounded true anyway.
Barnaby looked so conflicted. The water felt cool and Kotetsu couldn't help a shiver even though he knew it was hot and comforting in reality. But he was scared. In his mind, being rejected for a kiss was going to mean something very bad. He'd been holding on okay, but he was more fragile than he liked to admit to anyone...even if they already knew.
“Please?” Kotetsu said, bringing his face closer to Barnaby's. He wished Barnaby would squeeze his hand. He wished he would touch him. They both had on so little and were in such a nice place, and it could be so romantic.
Instead he was trying to convince his beloved to give him a kiss, even just a little tiny one.
Barnaby did not lean back or push him away, he just stared as if he had no idea what to do, and Kotetsu wondered maybe, just maybe...if he closed the distance...
There was a rustling behind him, and Kotetsu was barely able to register it before he felt a hand on the back of his head pushing him toward Barnaby – who was also being pushed by a hand.
“Now KISS,” came a loud voice as their lips were unceremoniously mashed together, and then held there. “Come on, slip 'im the tongue!”
Barnaby made a high pitched squeaking sound as his eyes went wide open and both of them struggled to pull back. Kotetsu had to admit he WAS tempted to kiss him for real since their...attacker, he supposed...was obvious.
Finally the pressure lessened and they both pulled back. Barnaby looked pissed. Kotetsu turned to see Ryan crouched on the land next to them in his golden shorts that shimmered a bit too much in the light. The lion had a dumb grin on his face, his hair also down and looking slightly ridiculous the way it dripped water down his shoulders and onto his broad young chest.
“Come on, stop with the quarrel and start making out or something! Just don't finger each other here, beca-”
“What the hell do you think you're doing!?” Barnaby snapped. He had a look that could kill and it was directed entirely at Ryan. “Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me!”
Kotetsu was too surprised to say anything. Admittedly, it was in a positive way. He still didn't really know Ryan, and while he seemed loud and full of himself, he didn't seem bad.
“I just want you two to go back to being gay for each other. Is that so much to ask?” Ryan asked, slipping into the water beside Kotetsu even though he was quite uninvited.
“Why!?” Barnaby asked, and his hand slipped out of Kotetsu's grip. Kotetsu knew he was balling it up into a fist.
“I'm a little tired of them giving me looks and attitude over there, like I personally decided to bust you two up,” Ryan said, jerking his thumb back to indicate somewhere in the hot springs behind them. “Look, I don't give a huge shit as far as what they think of me, but it gets kinda tiresome after a bit. So start fucking again already.”
“Ah...” Kotetsu wasn't really okay with that language, concerning them and coming from someone they didn't know well. “We're fine, thanks...”
Then Ryan nudged him with his elbow. “Why're you thanking me? Damn grandpa, I should thank you! ...I guess. Actually I would have been a hero anyway but if you hadn't stepped down I would be working alone and it's a lot harder to break into the business like that in some places.”
“GRANDPA?” Kotetsu's jaw dropped.
“Please leave,” Barnaby growled. “I get that you're trying to help but you are making things worse.”
“Aw come on.” Ryan pushed a finger up under Kotetsu's chin to make him close his mouth. “I'm only going to leave if you two need, you know, privacy.”
“We do now go away.” Barnaby was shaking.
“Just don't shoot off in the water, cause that's gross. Even I don't do that. Put it in his mouth at least, whoops I just closed it-”
“Stop!” Kotetsu yelped and swatted Ryan's hand away. “We're just fine, okay!? We can make up by ourselves! And you need to go away, seriously!” He kind of hated saying that. He didn't really want Ryan to dislike him.
“Yea well, I sure hope you mean that,” Ryan snorted. “Fine, I'll leave, but stop with the lover's spat. I'm not looking to move in on anyone's sexy territory. Work's work. I'm gonna have bigger issues to worry about and all that, and so is he.” Ryan pointed at the still-shaking-from-rage Barnaby. “So like, cool it down, there's gonna be enough trouble, and wouldn't it be nice at the end of the day to have nice sweaty sex with someone to unwind? I'm sure you two do it all slow and romantic and all-”
“LEAVE. NOW.” Barnaby was looking at the rock he'd been leaning against in an effort not to even see Ryan.
Kotetsu sighed and leaned toward Ryan. “Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, really, but you gotta go now. You...aren't actually helping.”
“Yea, he does look a lot angrier.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I guess I'll go back over there and see if anyone wants to talk.” Ryan started to crawl back out of the water. “But for fuck's sake, I really do hope you two go back to normal. You're being dumb.”
And with that, he walked off.
Kotetsu watched him go and turned back to Barnaby. He put his hand on his shoulder, feeling the shaking as it began to slow down. “He's going.”
“I know.”
“He's annoying. I'm sorry.” He wasn't that sorry, in reality, but it sucked that he couldn't have at least gotten Barnaby into a partnership with someone he already knew and could stand to be around. But...he did feel bad for Ryan. Being seen as the one to drive them apart by everyone, the other heroes and the media, had to be a little tough on Ryan. He had been welcomed to the hero world but there were still plenty of people sour over the fact that it was not Barnaby's lover at his side.
“You should be sorry! God, even I wasn't that bad when we first partnered up!” Barnaby said, glaring at him again.
“You were really rude and cold and annoying though!” Kotetsu retorted, and he couldn't help but smile, thinking back. “And...as much as I wished you had been more outgoing and at least hung out with me, you're right. You weren't that bad. You were new and distant and stuck up and all I wanted to do was break down your walls.”
“You were very persistent, yes.” Barnaby shook his head. “You were also tolerant of me when I treated you far worse than you ever deserve to be treated.”
“So, maybe we ought to show him more tolerance, right?” Kotetsu said, smiling more. “Not that it'll lead down the same path, but bein' new and all...and remembering how lonely and sad you felt.”
“Being teamed up with you made all the difference...I am so thankful for it.” Barnaby's eyes suddenly looked wet. “And I miss it so much. Kotetsu what would I have done without you? What will I do now?” he asked, looking lost and ready to cry.
“You still have me!” Kotetsu found his hand again and held it tightly as he moved closer to Barnaby. “Bunny, I'll never leave you. I may not fight with you as a hero, but I'll still be the one you always come home to and I'll always comfort you and do my best for you even if – even if it's a choice that upsets you... I'm still here,” he reminded him.
Barnaby sniffed and finally squeezed Kotetsu's hand. “I know. I'm still so, so sad, though...”
“It's a big change. I know.” Kotetsu took a risk and kissed Barnaby's cheek, tasting the salt of a tear. Barnaby didn't shove him away or get mad. “But I'm here and I love you. I always will love you.”
“You're such a stupid old man!” Barnaby cried and twisted, ripping his hand from Kotetsu's grip only to throw his arms around him, clinging tightly as he cried into his neck. “You're so stupid for doing this, I was so happy with you. And I'm so sick of being upset with you. I'm still happy with you,” he sobbed, and Kotetsu held him close, petting his back gently. “I don't want to feel mad and hurt anymore, I don't. I really don't.”
“I'm so sorry I hurt you...”
“I know you are. I know.” Barnaby's body trembled. “I love you so much, Kotetsu.” He sobbed again and clung even tighter if possible.
Kotetsu held tighter as well, thinking about things as he did so. Barnaby still wanted him, despite what he had done. Ryan, he was obnoxious, but he was okay. And he and Barnaby, well, they'd be okay too.
They would heal even if it took a long time.
