Welcome - Bienvenidos

So many things have happened lately, but I've been too lazy to write, draw, or basically do any of the stuff actually helps me with my depression and anxiety disorder. So, November has finally come! I did interview and I don't have to think about the whole think until December...and then March, again. I went to Santiago last week and had a blast there. It was so fun just to see my loved ones, traveling with my dad, going to Valparaíso and Viña del Mar for the very first time. It was worth all the stress I went through to ask for paid leave. My mom is in India right now. I almsost missed her at the airport. I almost stopped running towards international police and just straight up cried in the middle of the airport, but something told me she'd be there. And she was. I could see her, but couldn't talk to her, or hug her. It was not what I expected, it was better than nothing.

Right now, I'm trying to get back to the poor routine I had before the trip. I'm trying to improve it.

(Today is Nikki's birthday) I wanted to write a few times but I had to refrain myself, because I don't want to write just the depressing parts of my life. These journals will be a gift for my loved ones after I die and I don't want to be remembered as an emo kid who never got a drop of sunshine in her life. That's not the true me and I'll do my best to be remembered as the person I really am. Happy, kind, loving. October has been exactly as I predicted, though. It has been stressful and I've cried a lot because of it. I'm growing a lot from my own tears-- at least that's a good way to see it. I think that's a good point of view. All this is changing me for the better. At least I hope it is. I'm having my interview on Wednesday and that will be the last tast of the whole Assessment process. Then Ill have to take an exam on December, but I0m sure that'll be a piece of cake. I miss Santiago so much. I guess I'm starting to like Summer in the capital a lot more just because Summer means I get to see my favorite people again.

So, it's October and I'm trying to keep my mental health problems at bay while the Assessment process lasts. It's been hard because I hardly have any backup. Anyway, I'll survive this year no matter what. I'm longing for Summer like I never thought I would. I want the Assessment to end. I want the graduate program to end. It's all so stressful. At least I'm saving a little more money for my apartment and Señor Smith is under BARF diet. I guess I can't write to my pen pals anymore because they broke up and I can't take sides. I guess I'm a reminder of the old days. I feel lonely without them sometimes, but I gues that's a big reason why I wouldn't like to have a partner.