daily braincell count: -3

Shout out to the clover, the dandelion and the daisy. The triumvirate of springtime childish whimsy. WHO is doing it like them

Whip Your Tits Out Wednesday everybody

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

I need to be a well off couple's third and I do not want to be on equal footing with them relationship-wise. I do want to be the secondary partner here, the kind who does weird sex things they don't normally do with each other and gets flaunted like a party trick over martinis to show how worldly they are. I want to sit on one of their Eames chairs and gaze into the eyes of their useless designer dog and realize that me and it are one and the same, that I am just another set piece, and plan my escape not before exploiting their networks in the arts and local politics and penning a novella that leaves readers to wonder where the fact ends and the fiction begins.