B o n j o u r

A common misconception about Chompers is that they are blood-thirsty monsters who likes to kill zombies. They're not, actually. For a creature who is unfortunately without eyes, they never know what is in front of them and can be aggressive as a way to protect themselves. And to prove my point, I will befriend this chomper here.

There, my dear... Be not afraid. I'm not gonna hurt you...

Girl-

I don't think they want to be your friend...

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

tell a reptile their scales are wonderful,

tell a canine their fur is shining,

tell a deer their antlers are mighty,

tell a feline their claws are impressive,

tell a bug their resilience is inspiring,

tell a shark their teeth are gleaming,

tell a werewolf their howl is powerful,

tell a dragon their hoard is magnificent,

tell an angel their halo is radiant,

tell a machine their wires are superlative,

The fact that isn’t all the PVZ art I’ve made really illustrates the point

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

We interrupt your daily schedule to bring you the latest report! Ladies and gentlemen, the great General Camo has been rumored to be spotted near an old military outpost just outside Zomboss HQ! That's right folks! ZZTV footage has shown a silhouette of what could be the infamous General! Was is he doing there? Is he planning something? Oh goodness me, what an update! We'll keep you all in the loop once more comes out!

In other news, THE PROFESSOR LIVES! Rejoice, for University Z's top professor is alive and well! After rumors of his death were circulating around online, he made an official statement, assuring folks he is alive and well.

I did NOT realize that until now QwQ

Erm- Anyway- I now gotta ask-

How long is the average baguette? And like- how long can a baguette be? Is there a world record for World's Longest Baguette? And has anyone beaten it yet?

This is important I promise- Shenanigans related? Yes, but 50 pesos is 50 PESOS.

-@thereal-rainbowcat-nikki

Euh… indeed. I had rather fancied it would be a lifetime before anyone put the question to me. Why this look of astonishment?

The standard baguette measures some 55 to 65 centimetres in length. The extant world record, I believe, stands at 140.53 metres—established by a French team; the previous mark, 132.62, was held by the Italians.

Plus, i'm not American, literally...

But once I get back to my domain- apartment*, Yvonne and all her children will have their work cut out for them!

If sourdough starters can be used to make baguettes, that is.. I think I should look that up actually, since I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be using Yvonne for anything that is even slightly bread..

But even if I fail, there's always the divine revelation I had in a dream..

Baguette Centipede...

Where I buy a bunch of baguettes and stitch them together like the humans from Human Centipede

After all, my friend didn't make any rules saying.. I couldn't.

I did NOT realize that until now QwQ

Erm- Anyway- I now gotta ask-

How long is the average baguette? And like- how long can a baguette be? Is there a world record for World's Longest Baguette? And has anyone beaten it yet?

This is important I promise- Shenanigans related? Yes, but 50 pesos is 50 PESOS.

-@thereal-rainbowcat-nikki

Euh… indeed. I had rather fancied it would be a lifetime before anyone put the question to me. Why this look of astonishment?

The standard baguette measures some 55 to 65 centimetres in length. The extant world record, I believe, stands at 140.53 metres—established by a French team; the previous mark, 132.62, was held by the Italians.

I fear I am rather light-headed. One scarcely knows whether to count oneself fortunate or otherwise in having experienced… the peculiar sensation of perusing a shopfront in a foreign city, only to be interrupted by an armed engagement—a round, most precise in its trajectory, shearing clean through my proudest little contrivance, followed by a succession of collapsing shelving units which pinned me prone to the floor, quite immobilised. I had near lost all sensation below the waist, at one point.

Providentially, I yet draw breath! And my person, under proper medical care, is convalescing apace. I may be absent a day or two before I regain my post, but set your minds at rest—I shall maintain correspondence throughout.

I fear I am rather light-headed. One scarcely knows whether to count oneself fortunate or otherwise in having experienced… the peculiar sensation of perusing a shopfront in a foreign city, only to be interrupted by an armed engagement—a round, most precise in its trajectory, shearing clean through my proudest little contrivance, followed by a succession of collapsing shelving units which pinned me prone to the floor, quite immobilised. I had near lost all sensation below the waist, at one point.

Providentially, I yet draw breath! And my person, under proper medical care, is convalescing apace. I may be absent a day or two before I regain my post, but set your minds at rest—I shall maintain correspondence throughout.