The R.A. Diary

sneaking out through the window

and breaking curfews.

It is being young and reckless

and doing God knows what

in God knows where

with God knows whom

in wee hours.

Loving you is

making excuses for

coming home late when

you're supposed to be tucked in bed.

It is talking back

to mom and dad when they

get mad for suddenly being volatile

and delinquent.

Loving you is

ditching books and spectacles

for cigarettes and bottles of beer.

It is my kind of booze

and smoke, infusing addiction

into my veins.

Loving you is

running the red light while

smiling at you from

across the street.

It is driving at the speed

of light right past the no trespassing sign.

Loving you is

lying about where you've been

and losing your halo.

It is playing with fire

like a moth that

is bound to get burned.

Loving you is

diving headfirst into the unknown

abyss of feelings.

It is proceeding without caution,

tossing off every sense of prudence

to the wind.

I know.

You are a bad news.

You holler danger.

Trouble is written all over your face.

You are a catastrophe by design -

the epitome of what my parents warned me about.

But you are a gorgeous chaos

of motorbike rides, inked skin,

leather jackets, tattered denims,

platform boots,

lit cigar and booze.

I know.

You bring out the bad in a goody-two-shoes.

You make me drop my umbrella and dance under the rain.

You show me how to let loose and break away from normalcy.

I know.

Loving you is

bad but it feels good.

Loving you is

me, becoming less

like me and

more like those girls

in tight tank tops,

fitted ripped jeans, chokers

and red lipsticks.

But I don't mind

becoming one of them.

You see, I don't just bend the rules, I break them for you.

I know.

Loving you is

kissing safe and sound

goodbye but it is

living.

- I know, you are a bad idea.

Totoo rin na minsan you will still care about them, kahit pa tapos na yung relationship ninyo, at contrary sa sinasabi ng iba, hindi sya "katangahan". It's not wrong to care for someone who once shared their brief time in this universe with you.

People will come and go. That's how it works, but that doesn't mean you cannot be with them anymore. During the time you spent together, you may have picked up their habits, the things they like, or even how they look at life. They're with you and you're with them, always.

I guess life is equally beautiful and sad this way. We walk around, eventually finding someone that matches with our pace, we take a little piece of them with us, and then one of you will have to speed up or slow down. We're an amalgamation of the people we choose to walk with.