Ther

Cursed Whiskers • pt.3 • previus

It was morning. The sun has just started to rise above the horizon, the few early creatures being able to enjoy the bits of cold from the night as the earth slowly begun to warm up.

"Mama, mama! Look at this butterfly I found!" tiny fingers held a pitiful looking butterfly by it's wings, the poor creature unable to do anything in the girls hold.

"###, dear, don't grab it like that, you will rip it's wings off." The woman warned, her hair flowing with the morning wind as she spread out the sheets to dry.

Tiny footsteps approaches her from behind.

"Mama, do you think I could fly like a butterfly one day?" The girl asked, just out of curiosity, but she already knew the answer.

　──── ㅤׂㅤㅤ‧‧ㅤㅤ ‎TAKE CARE !ㅤㅤㅤ☆ㅤㅤㅤyou are having a bad day, qifrey makes it better . ˖ ݁𓂃. ݁₊

𝐜.𝐰　　　 ᡴꪫ　 　𓂃　꒰ mdni ꒱ ‎‎. established relationship ⋮ ‎afab reader with no gendered pronouns used ⋮ fingering ⋮ praise ⋮ mild dacryphilia . ‎‎˖ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎.

QIFREY HATES SEEING YOU UPSET, you have a hard time asking for what you want. that's alright, some things are simple like that.

qifrey seeks you out first. too much of a good thing. now you can't leave his lap, perched sideways across his thighs, one of his arms resting securely around your middle while his mouth presses at the corner of your downturn lips he'd kiss into something softer if you let him give you what you want, rather than what you need.

"shall we try again?," the concentrated touches on the tender, hardened bud are enough to make you mind go haywire. he digs his palm against your clit with barely there friction—an involuntary whimper leaving your lips.

Qifrey x Reader

Qifrey seeks you out after an argument, hoping to make amends.

wc: 1.4k cw: Manga Spoilers kind of (if you know about it then you will notice it, if you don't then like,, caution ig idk), qifrey is a little liar, angst, hurt/comfort, mostly hurt, this was supposed to go in a Completely Different direction but i got very distracted and now its sad!

Qifrey hates water. He hates the way rain patters against the roof, sending hollow knocks through the atelier that he and Olruggio built up brick by brick to house them, to home them. He hates the way the cold a storm brings with it seeps through the shutters, crawling up the walls and onto the furniture, reaching where he sits staring at the unlit hearth in a vacant stare. He hates the suffocating feeling that grips at his chest, tight, longing for comfort that he feels unable to ask for—no, he has no right to seek it out, seeing as he's the one who made you cry.

That's the type of water he hates most; The salty and warm blobs of water that first welled up in your pretty eyes after he raised his voice. He barely noticed that you were crying until he'd finally turned back to face you, searing the image of fat tears dripping down your cheeks, staining the skin with trails of moisture that served as pathways for fresh tears to follow into his frazzled mind.

Qifrey didn't mean to shout, it was a rare slip of composure, a panicked defense mechanism that raked its way up his throat in a final act of self preservation, which is ironic considering that's what you'd been squabbling about in the first place. 

You'd come to him after his most recent stunt in pursuing the Brimmed Caps. Olly had given him an earful previously, but you came to him with knitted brows and bitten lips, needing to understand why he so quickly discards all reason in pursuit of his revenge. Needing him to understand how worried you were—how worried you are for him. Whenever these topics arise, Qifrey finds it difficult to balance how much to lean into your assistance and comfort with how much he needs to close away from you, lest his roots find a place to start digging.

A sigh rises in his chest before he pushes himself up from the floor. It's obvious in hindsight. Running headfirst into dangerous scenarios, getting hurt, and all for the goal of saving himself. He supposes he's silly, really, thinking about his own juxtaposition as he approaches the bedroom door. What good partner wouldn't be worried when their beloved seemingly doesn't care for what could befall them?

The knock of his knuckle against the wooden door is soft, he doesn't want to startle you. It's late, after all. Everyone should be asleep. Qifrey briefly wonders whether opening the door is selfish, but before the thought can even settle in his mind, he's clearing his throat to the sight of your back. You don't turn around.

A soft click sounds from behind his figure when the door closes, but the witch doesn't move from his place. 

 “Love,” he rasps, suddenly nervous. “You're working at this hour?” The questions skirts around the edge of the bigger topic. He hopes you'll reply, turn around and take the bait so that he can continue to avoid accountability. Keeping the guilt of raising his voice at you close to his heart with no words of forgiveness uttered would surely keep him anxious for life. Perhaps it would grant a break from the constant hammering of rain, because scaring you feels much more terrifying.

Your pen pauses. The soft ball of light next to your haunched over body illuminates the space around the desk, warming the area with a soft and inviting orange glow. He wants to come closer. He can't. The silence he's greeted with makes his fingers itch and they pick at each other, his nails catching on and pushing his cuticles back into his skin. 

“Listen,” he mumbles, eyes downcast. “We don't have to discuss the details, but I need you to know that I am sorry for how I acted. Stay angry with me for as long as you need to, my feelings for you will never change.”

“You're such a hypocrite, Qifrey.” Your voice comes out wobbly. Perhaps you hadn't managed to stop crying in the few hours that had passed.

“I know…”

Putting your pen down, you finally turn to face him with puffy eyes. His soft gaze settles on your form as you shift on the wooden chair. Your figure is closed in, trying to shield yourself from any more hurt and he feels his heart crack at the sight. Tears still cling to your lashes, glinting in the lamps glow with every blink and the man thinks he's never seen anything more beautiful yet full of sorrow. He thinks you're pretty when you cry, but not for this reason, he can't stand it when you're hurting.

Wordlessly, he walks over to you with tentative steps, before taking a knee right in front of you. 

“Please, my sweet, don't cry.” One gentle hand rises to your face. His index finger curls, using a knuckle to carefully wipe the tears threatening to drip down from under your eyes before he cups your cheek. His thumb strokes over your skin, while his other hand rests on your knee. Your partner never breaks eye contact, the habit was drilled into him throughout his years as an apprentice and now as an adult he takes great care to shift around and make sure he can always see what's swimming in the hues of your irises.

“Qifrey—”

“I know,” he repeats, voice so soft that he wonders if the words even exited from his mind. His hand drops to your shoulder, the other mirroring the positioning before he runs his palms down your arms, letting his fingers trail over the length of them until his grip envelopes your own. With a tender grasp, he brings your hands up to his lips. A gentle kiss is placed across your knuckles before he breathes out again and bows his head to you. “I'm sorry.”

He looks like he's begging, praying for your forgiveness on his knees in front of your form as he holds the backs of your fingers to his forehead. Inhaling through his nose, his grip tightens almost imperceptively before he speaks again, “I never meant to shout at you, you didn't deserve such a reaction.”

“I was… overwhelmed, but that is no excuse. It will never happen again, my love, I promise.” He doesn't move, just keeps his forehead pressed against your fingers until they move in his grip.

Wiggling your fingers free, you brush your fingers through his fluffy hair, it's always so soft. Qifrey looks up then, with an expression riddled with stress. Guilt pulls his eyebrows together, curving the inner corners upwards. He still keeps your other hand hostage for now, gripping it under his chin while his glossy, baby blue eye watches your expressions. For a man so anxious, he exercises an impressive amount of patience.

“I know you didn't mean to yell,” You whisper, nibbling on your lower lip in contemplation, “I just—your lack of care for yourself scares me…”

Qifrey's stomach churns at your words. He knows, you'd said this earlier but he was so caught up in his own thirst that he couldn't hear it. Perhaps he didn't want to hear it. Perhaps he's reckless because he knows it scares people.

“If something happened to you, what would that mean for the girls? They'd be devastated; What about Olly? What about me?” The words tumble from your lips in desperation as if you're pleading for him to hear you, to reach out and grab onto the words and forever hold them close to his heart.

He can't. That would be too kind, too comforting. He briefly considers telling you the truth, confessing that he can't completely accept how your worry and love has slipped under his skin in a warmth akin to one felt only on a fresh summer evening that leaves you feeling completely at peace. He wishes so badly to agree. Tears well up in his lash line from the turmoil and he has to swallow down a scoff. The more he considers being honest, the worse the pain in his head becomes, so he decides to lie.

“I'll be more careful,” he nods, straightening his posture, “no more acting without thinking. I'll come to you beforehand, Olly as well.”

The headache lessens.

“You promise?” Cupping his cheeks, you brush his tears away this time, trading roles.

“Yes, I promise.”

Ther x Ronin, Adam and Eve retelling, Spread the Rot.

cws: religious themes

Etherality, one of the two humans created by God on his perfect earth, a perfect woman for Craig, perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect body. Everything in her was meant to fit Craig's tastes, after all she was to be his wife in this beautiful garden.

She was sitting on a cold stone by a river, like a nymph, beautiful, flawless. Her eyes locked on the reflection she could see in the river, long red hair falling down her back, milky skin, blue eyes dark like the night's sky. Somehow this person, this woman, she felt foreign, like a complete stranger who copied her every move.

Ethereality ran her hand across the surface of the river, disrupting the water and causing her reflection to disappear for a second. It was an idiotic thought, she's a woman, a woman created by God to be Craig's wife. She was ethereal, a true beauty. She couldn't feel alien in her own body, it would mean that she's questioning God's creation, that would make her imperfect.

"Ther, Ther, sweet Ther, when will you open your eyes?" A man in the form of a serpent was resting on one of the branches of the great tree, the tree holding all of God's wisdom of what's right and wrong. His serpent form was red, with eyes as black as coal. His eyes locked on the human on the other side of the river.

Ronin - because that's the man's name, the name he picked for himself at least, is an angel, one of God's favourites, or at least he was until he cut the wings binding him to heaven off. He hated heaven, hated the strict rules, hated the forced perfection.

He wanted to break free from heaven, create his own damned world, chaos and sin, freedom. To do that he needed to create chaos, destroy God's perfect plan, and dispose of all the virtues God created.

He planned on using Craig to do it, an empty headed man like him was easy to manipulate, whisper to him about power and he'll take the fruit like it's the only thing that matters to him. But something, or rather someone else caught his eye, Ther, or Ethereality, he watched them for a while now.

They were like him. Hated the form He put them in, hated the man they had to share a paradise with, hated everything about this holy place. He saw that, and he saw how much they fought their feelings, tried to bury them deep inside, yet they couldn't. They couldn't fight the truth, they just needed a push to accept it.

And that's when a magnificent idea popped into the man's mind. He could feed the fruit to them, he could help them and take them away from that damned place. Craig didn't deserve them anyway and Ronin? Ronin could give them everything, the whole world would be on its knees for them.

Ronin waited for them to pass the tree, he saw the curiosity in Ther's eyes. They were thinking about taking one of the fruits, he saw it, he saw the spark in their eyes.

"Oh, why won'tcha give the fruit a try, love?" Ther jumped. Hearing the man's voice from behind them. Their eyes widened when they saw who he was.

"Who are you?" They asked, their eyes moving between the void in his eyes and the broken halo on his head.

The man's hair was white, it was probably the only clean and holy thing about him, he was wearing a black cloth over his hips that reached his to his knees, under his chest there were two scars. The scars caught Ther's curiosity.

"An angel." He whispered, taking a few steps towards them.

"Really?" They asked, not believing him.

"Nah." He waved his hand dismissively and put his hand under Ther's chin. "But I can be your saviour, I know how to give you answers to the questions about yourself and your purpose." He whispered into their ear, while he pulled one of the many fruit's from the tree.

"Wh-what? But God sai-"

"Shh, what He said doesn't matter. He wants to toy with you and that bastard, you will never be a full fetched being if you listen to Him." He cupped their cheek and  caressed it with his thumb, like a lover would.

"Come on, gain your freedom, take it with your teeth, raw and bleeding." He smiled and put the fruit to their lips. "What do you say, Ther?"

Hearing this name, it made something in Ethereality squeeze. The name... it felt just right. Like freedom, like it was who they were meant to be. If it's just the name that made them feel that way, then maybe eating the fruit would do even more?

Maybe... Just maybe they could find their own reflection?

Thernin - soulmate au.

Tw/cw - Family abuse mentions - Suicide - Major character death - Homophobia - Murder, gore, blood etc.

Six year old Ro was laying down in her bed, looking at her mother who was about to tell a bedtime story so the little child could fall asleep. The woman was clearly unhappy with having to read to her daughter. Ro saw the displeasure in her mother’s eyes, she only showed kindness when Ro was well behaved, when she didn’t fight, talk, or move if possible. Ro felt like she was choked, suffocated by all the rules she has to follow. 

“Do you want mommy to tell you the story of why your vision is with no colour?” The woman asked, the fake smile glued to her face. Yes, Ro’s mother was a cold woman, a cruel woman. After all the Beaufort’s were a cursed family, cursed with suicidal children, Satan's family, unable to be cleansed from sin. 

Ro finally focused on her mother’s question. No colour. That’s how Ro saw the world, blacks, whites and grays. She didn’t know why it looked this way, she hated it, she heard adults talking about how cute she looks in pink, how girly she looks. 

“Will you tell me?” Ro asked, curiosity in those black empty eyes of hers. Empty like her mother, black like her father’s heart. 

“Of course sweetie, mommy will tell you.” Fake smiles. She didn’t even bother trying harder to make the smile feel real. Not bothered to show her daughter some love, grace her with warmth, or teach her about feelings and emotions. Religion, the only virtue this family had, other than pride and all the sin leaking from the shadows. 

Ro’s mother tucked her under the blankets, kissing the top of her head and tried her hardest to hide the disgust she felt through gritted teeth. 

“Listen and listen well Ro, I will tell this story only once.” The woman took a long breath before she started the story. “In our world ever since Adam and Eve betrayed our Holy Father we were punished severely, seeing black and white is also a part of His great punishment. Luckily, Our Lord is forgiving and graced us with the ability to see his wonderful creation once we meet our soulmate, so when you meet a good boy Ro you will be able to see colour.” She said, the pain in her cold eyes visible even for the six year old. There were so many secrets she hid, from her daughter, husband and herself. So many things she was never able to accept. 

“Did you start to see colour when you met daddy?” Ro asked, she knew the answer, she knew that what her mother would say was a lie, she caught on rather quickly. Maybe it’s the fact that she also can’t see colour when a boy hits her? Instead of seeing pretty greens or pinks, she fights back, getting her dresses dirty and the boy’s nose broken. 

“Of course honey, mommy’s world is so happy and colourful, she can’t wait for her little jewel to see all the colours too.” 

Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.Lie. Lie. Lie.

All ms. Beaufort ever does is lie. Lie with a smile glued to her face, hiding the bruises and wounds her husband leaves on her. No one will hear her screams, no one will see her tears, no one besides her daughter who she despises. If only she was never born… If only she killed her daughter when she still had time… Maybe she would be free now. 

A few days have passed since the conversation, Ro was still seeing in three shades only. Her family called her a good girl or a dirty brat, depending on how Ro behaved. Ro did everything to be called a brat, a boy in girl’s disguise, a devil. Somehow it felt much better than being referred to as a girl, a girl… something that Ro felt to be unfit to her behaviour and interests...

While Ro was playing outside, throwing rocks at all crosses she saw and running away when upset grown ups came out to shout and chase her away. It gave her a feeling of freedom, cured her boredom, she just acted like all the boys did, copying their behaviour and claiming it as hers. 

On one of these journeys Ro stumbled upon someone. normally she wouldn’t care too much. It was just another kid, with strangely colored hair… wait. Colour? Ro looked down at the girl who she pushed to the ground when she was escaping one of the older ladies. 

The world around them was… strange. The girl had long ginger hair, cold, piercing blue eyes and a scowl on her face. But Ro could see something more in those eyes of hers, fear. She’s afraid. Of what? Ro? No.. that’s not it. It’s something way deeper than that. Before Ro could do anything, her mother’s voice reached her ears. 

“Roselyn! Roselyn Beaufort! Apologise right this instant!” She said, grabbing her firmly by her forearm and basically throwing Ro down, not caring that the girl’s knees were scraped and bleeding. 

Ro yelped in surprise, hissing when the rocks, small pieces of glass and gravel were basically stuck in her knees. She looked at the girl, shock from all the new colours still present in Ro’s mind. She was intrigued, but she couldn’t ask about anything with mother around, it was dangerous. 

“I’m sorry for pushing you to the ground, please forgive me.” The apology wasn’t genuine, wasn’t even close to being one. Ro always said the same apology, it lost its meaning after being used so often. But no one cared, nothing in Angelwood was genuine, not even the faith the town was supposed to have. People didn’t love God, they were afraid of him and even Ro knew that. 

“I forgive you… Roselyn.” That’s all the girl said before she walked away, bidding farewell to Ro’s mother. She acted strange, like she was ashamed or afraid of something. Ro was intrigued, and she was going to make it her life mission to figure this out. 

For the next few days, Ro was following behind Ethereality like she’s the girl’s shadow. Stalking behind her, ditching all of her favourite activities. The girl ignored Ro, or at least tried to, until one day she snapped. 

“Stop following me!” She suddenly shouted when Ro was walking closely behind her. Ro didn’t back away, oh no, she was directly behind the girl, hands on her shoulder, keeping her in one place. 

“Or what? You’ll push me? Scream? Cry? It took you days to react, you won’t do anything.” Ah yes, the ever confident Ro. Not even in front of a new ‘friend’ will the behavior change. 

“Just leave me alone Roselyn! Why are you insisting on following me?” Ro chuckled, the sound loud, filled with mockery. Ro figured out that Etherality also saw colour since the day they met, she noticed how curiously she watched her surroundings, Ro did the same. 

“Don’t act stupid, you’re supposed to be the big girl, the smart one.” Ro said, practically laughing at all the ways adults called Ethereality so perfect and well behaved. “You see them too, I know it, you know it!” Ro was strangely aggressive, shaking the girl by her shoulders. Maybe she was mimicking the way her father treats her mother? After all, the parents’ relationship is the only way for a child to figure out how affection is shown. 

“Stop! Stop this!” Ethereality shouted, pushing Ro to the ground. “You’re delusional! I don’t see any colour! And even if I did, it wouldn’t be because of you. Girls can only like boys, end of story!” This made Ro laugh even more, she was laying on the ground new bruises on her arms and legs from the fall. Holding herself by the stomach and laughing maniacally. It was definitely the family’s fault.  “Oh you little angel, you saint! They told you that? Who’s to decide what we can or we can’t do? Humans?” Oh that was so amusing to her, maybe it’s her discovering the truth of this world at such a young age, or maybe how amusing Ethereaity’s reactions were? Who’s to say…

“Welcome to Angelwood.” Ronin’s head rose when he heard the old well known bitchy voice of Ther’s. His lips twisted in a smirk.

Oh Ther, the person who made Ronin see colour, the person who was denying being his soulmate so much that he laughed in their face when they confessed that it might be true. He didn’t care about the world being in colours, the only colour he needed to see was the one of Ther’s eyes or maybe their annoyingly bright hair, the colour of their skin or lips. 

“Hah, no need to greet me babe, nothing ever changes in this shitty town. It’s like last time.” He shrugged and looked down at them, his eyes lighting up. “I came to fetch you my darling dearest.” He said and pulled them in closer by their hand. 

“Ro- I’m not going anywhere. I’m to be Prom Queen, I won’t leave because of your whims.” They said and shot him a glare. 

“Oh, of course Angelwood girl. You can’t leave without your crown can you?” He asked, a mocking glint in his eyes.

What a cocky bastard Ronin is. Annoyingly handsome bastard. 

“What now? Staying to watch or what?” Ther asked. 

“Watch you suffer? Yeah why fucking not, seeing you play this holy girl, it’ll be a show of centuries.” He scoffed and leaned in closer. “I’ll enjoy watching all of the people hanging from the gym’ ceiling.” He whispered and looked down at the wedding band that Ther was wearing. “Aw, did our dear fucking Doughton already put his seal on you?”

“Ronin don’t, please-” Ther tried to stop him from talking while they were walking to wherever Ronin was taking them. 

“Stop what? He probably thinks that he can fucking own you, like you’re his trophy or whatever. I can’t wait to wreck him up, break his fucking neck, watch the blood spill.” He was talking his mind out, not caring about Ther practically silencing him with their hand so he would hut up. 

“Shut up Ro! Please… They’ll fucking hear you, all of them… and the angel too.” It was then where Ronin noticed how exhausted Ther looked. 

They were much thinner than when he saw them last, their already unnaturally pale skin was almost as pale as his. 

“Ther… What the fuck is happening? Are you…. doing this again?” He sounded desperate, who would want their soulmate, their partner to wither away like this? Definitely not Ronin Beaufort. He can be an asshole, the devil himself in Angelwood’s eyes, but for fucks sake, he would never leave Ther in this state alone. 

“It’s nothing Ro. I just… I’m fine.” Of course they weren’t and they knew that Ronin saw right through them. It was the thing they found the most annoying, that stupid soulmate connection and Ronin’s observative nature were a curse and a blessing at the same time. 

Luckily Ther also seen right through him, especially when the two of them were younger. They saw his anger, how he tried to hide the bruises or how he stopped himself from crying out his frustrations when it all was too much for a child to take. Ther wouldn’t comment on anything, they would just get close and let him pretend that he just needs to sleep on their shoulder. 

“Nothing my ass, it’s the Prom Queen shit, isn't it?” He asked through gritted teeth. “Or maybe it’s Craig? Maybe you should finally fuckign slice his throat, cut his eyes out, gut him open and let all of this bullshit drop.” It wasn’t a question. Ronin knew that it’s what Ther needs, they need Craig’s blood spilled, they need to get all of this out. 

“I… No Ro, he’s… he’s my boyfriend.” They chose to deny it. They needed to deny it. Ther needs to keep this act up, they’re not Ther, they’re Ethereality, a pretty girl, Angelwood’s saint girl. 

Or that’s how the town shaped them. Took them apart, broke their bones, poisoned their brain… Maybe Ronin is the only one who truly sees them? Maybe that’s what the soulmate thing is about, you see colours and secrets, nothing is able to stay hidden from you, especially if your name is Ronin fucking Beaufort. The son of the cursed bloodline, devil boy and proud Satan’s spawn. 

“Come on darlin’, you want this. Kill Craig, then the rest of this town… And we can go somewhere far, as far as you’d like.” Ronin whispered tempting promises into Ther’s ears. Persuading them into self claiming their freedom…

And Ther wasn’t that hard to break, especially with Ronin around. 

Craig’s body was at their feet. His face forever frozen in one of fear, he was screaming while he was dying. 

“All that screaming and for what? Ah, Craig, Craig.” Ronin chuckled and kicked his head with his shoe. “Almost made me feel bad for ya, almost…” Ronin spat at him. 

“And what was it about respecting the dead?” Ther asked, looking at the bloody crowbar in their hand. “Where did you even get this?” They asked, dropping it to the ground and watching as it bounced off of the corpse. 

“You don’t hafta know everything, love.” He chuckled and looked at how the body looked.

Guts spilled out, Craig’s legs crashed, his bones were basically flat, broken was an understatement. His blood was splayed everywhere, on the grass, swings, trashcan. It was a gory mess, and Ronin was proud of it. Letting Ther go all out has always been one of his favourite activities, although they usually didn’t actually kill, just got their frustrations out by hitting Ronin’s torso and crying, or shouting at the stars and sky. 

“Just make sure to not give it back, I don’t need anyone having brains and whatever else on their tools.” Ther said, guessing that Ronin probably stole it, stealth was the least of the sins he committed against humanity. 

“Awh of course, I’ll take it as a memorial of your spilled blood baby.” He walked up to them. “Would’ja grant me this dance?” He asked after he bowed and outstretched his hand towards Ther. 

“How romantic.” They huffed and took his hand. 

They needed music. They danced, sharing this moment of peace in between chaos. It was a truly grotesque moment, two teenagers dancing next to a corpse, swaying to the sound of wind in perfect harmony, no words needed, just stares and Ronin’s smirks. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful like this. Bloody and broken, my perfectly imperfect rot.” Ronin whispered. 

“Rot? Just like you?” They asked, their voice also hushed to a whisper. 

“We’re rot. You and I both, love.” He leaned in, connected their lips in a slow deliberate kiss. 

If only he knew that this would be their last kiss… Maybe he should’ve kidnapped Ther, take them away when he still could…

Maybe now he would still feel full, see everything he couldn’t imagine himself to miss seeing. Maybe he wouldn’t stand in front of a fucking grave. . . 

Ther basically told Ronin to return home, it was shortly before their Prom, they didn’t want Ronin there. They “wanted” to be Prom Queen. And Ronin’s protests were ignored. 

So now he’s back to where he came from, everything in his small cramped house a mess, the perfect image of his mind. He felt his heart ache every time he thought of Ther, they could share some sort of connection in feelings, he felt Ther’s pain, sometimes unsure if their pain was his or actually theirs. 

He felt frustrated, weak, angry. Why did he agree to leave? Why couldn’t he fucking push them… 

He knew the answer. He didn’t want to be the same as everyone. Pushing Ther would only hurt them, he needed control yeah, but not when the person he want to keep under his care was controlled their whole life, unable to decide one thing for themselves without a punishment. 

“Fuck!” He shouted and threw the bloody crowbar to the ground. His chest was rising and falling, he tried to stay somewhat calm, tried to tell himself that his decision was right, that when he comes back after he gets enough money for new plain tickets Ther will want to go with him… He just needs to wait six months, half a year worth of collecting money, that should be easy. 

Maybe if he didn’t take up working in a small workshop owned by an elderly mechanic he would have an easier time getting money faster, but no one wanted to hire a whipster like him, he wasn’t surprised. With his temper it was hard to keep clients as regulars from time to time. 

While Ronin was losing himself in his thoughts he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head and a wave of distress falling over him, he had to lean on a wall. 

“What the fuck… Ther… what the fuck is going on there…”

He hissed out, trying to bear the pain through gritted teeth, he has no chance against his soulmate's pain, he can only wait this out, wait for them to feel better, if that moment ever arrives… 

Maybe he should have been a stubborn bastard and kill off every fucking student at the great ball when he still had the chance. Maybe it would ease Ther’s need to stay as the perfect Angelwood girl, the saint amongst saints, and the follower of angels, even if they tire them out and cause them to lose sleep, loose themselves and slowly die out, losing their light. 

Maybe that’s why they were made for eachother? A self made devil, a man who had to create the male shell for himself, and a person who holds onto the memory of a girl, a painful memory that they were shaped into. Maybe Ronin was birthed into this world to keep Ther’s nature under control? 

Maybe their rotten connection was deeper than the two of them thought.

Half a year.

That’s how long Ronin had to wait. 

During this time he felt Ther’s emotions stronger than ever, the pain was never ending, it made his life harder, almost unbearable, it was mostly their heart aching. 

Sometimes he couldn't take it, wanting to gut himself open just to stop feeling this, but then he reminded himself of going to Ther, saving them this time for sure. 

Now, after a twelve hour flight, and a long drive on a bus, he was almost ready to get out, ready to find Ther, ready to corrupt them, this time for good. 

But, while Ronin was standing in front of the door, ready to leave the bus, his vision turned black and white, Deprived of all colour. 

It felt weird. He also felt this weird sense of emptiness? As if he just lost something deep within his heart. He chose to ignore it, blaming it on his fucked up mind. It made sense, a lot of sense. At least until he got out of the bus and a memory of his mother came back to him. 

“Roselyn, remember, if you ever lose all colour it means that your soulmate is gone. And that is the worst feeling ever… Not that mommy ever experienced it, mommy has daddy and he is alive.” Oh, those eyes full of lies and sorrow. Her world was empty, gray, no colour present in her world, and it’s all because she wasn’t careful that one night… “I wish you the same happiness Ro, I hope you will feel exactly the same way mommy does.”

Ronin didn’t understand these feelings then. But now he does, and he feels them all too well. His mother cursed him. cursed him with the Beaufort bloodline, unlucky sinners forsaken by heaven and God. 

With his mother’s words in mind, the colour deprived world in front of him and the ever present emptiness he rushed to Ther’s house. Pushing everyone out of his way, not caring about anyone anymore, he has to make sure that he’s wrong, that his mother was wrong. 

He reached their house, climbing the stairs to their room. His whole body felt heavy, mind was too loud, Ronin felt nauseous, like he was about to faint at any given moment. 

He pushed the door open, his eyes glued to the floor and then he looked up.

.

.

.

The sight in front of him was the worst thing ever. Ther. His Ther. Hanging up from the ceiling, thin, pale and unbreathing. Frozen in time like a doll, a doll with a rope hugging their neck. 

Ronin took a few cautious steps towards the body. 

“Th… Ther… It isn’t fucking funny. I know you're alive. You’re not fucking dead.” He said, his voice laced with despair, pain, all of the sorrow. He didn’t feel this way when he saw his mother in this situation. 

“Ther, fuck, open your eyes. Open your fucking eyes!” He basically shook the body. Then he desperately looked for a knife, once he found one he cut the rope and caught their still warm body. 

“Ther! Ther! Ther!” He was shouting, sliding to the floor with the dead body in his arms. He couldn’t believe it, how could he let this fucking happen?

How could he lose control? How could he disappoint his rotten saint so much? 

Now, with nothing but emptiness filling his body he could only hold their body. 

Even his heart was slowly washing all the emotions away, as if it was doomed to never beat for anyone again, as if Ther was truly his one and only love forever. 

After all, having a soulmate is both a curse and a blessing. 

Trigger Warnings!!!

su1c1d3

light s/a mention

Ther x Ronin Gluttony Gods

Ronin was back in Angelwood, he returned to the city a little later than he expected. The damned bus really took its time to drive him there. He couldn't get Ther to greet him, if he was earlier they would be next to him now, venting their feelings and cursing the Angels. But now, Ronin can only go to the old high school, mix in with the other students and seek Ther in the crowd. Annoy them, maybe dance with them and make sure that they escape with him, find the courage to seek freedom, to reach out for it. He smiled to himself, that plan he was building in his head was really devilish, he just needed to find the prom queen to make them its main star, after all a play can't start without the lead.

He entered the school gym, it looked almost like a real ballroom, colorful lights everywhere, loud music playing, teenagers trying to hide the alcohol they smuggled in. Ronin didn't fit in with the overly elegant students, he looked like a black sheep and he was proud of it. He wore his devilish aesthetic like a badge of honour. He pushed himself through the crowd, looking for this one person who couldn't leave his mind.

But before he could find them, the lights turned white and focused on the stage, the school's headmaster stood there, a microphone in hand. He looked like he just wanted to have a drink and let this school burn for all he cared about, but he had to play his little role, like everyone in Angelwood did. Like the little fucking puppets they all were.

"Good evening our dear students, it's the moment you've been waiting for! We will announce the prom queen and king."

In response there was a round of applause, names being chanted by the teenagers, the loudest one was "Ethereality", seems like all the assholes had their pick decided already. It wasn't a surprise when Ther's last name was called out. A round of applause and happy chants were heard immediately. After all it was their perfect girl, the perfect saint of all Angelwood. Ronin clapped for them too, although his applause was more mocking, and he knew that they knew it too. After all Ronin was the only person who knew who Ther truly was, even they didn't understand their needs and feelings as well as Beaufort did. They were in denial, living in this false femininity, pretending that the dress they were wearing was actually to their liking. Acting like Craig Doughton was someone they actually loved, like their heart wasn't aching for the comfort Ronin gave them.

But Ronin saw through all of that, he saw how uncomfortable and shaken Ther was when Craig, that motherfucker, leaned in to kiss them. He saw the absolute hate in their eyes when they smiled at the crowd. Oh, how painfully amusing it was. Ronin could play the hero, he could be the big saviour, and then Ther would kill that lovely "boyfriend" of theirs, as the ending act of course.

Ethereality was supposed to die that night, Ther was about to reborn, like a phoenix coming back from the ashes. This idea made his heart burn in passion, his eyes glint in wicked amusement. This night was meant to be beautiful.

Finally Ther got down from the stage, joining the crowd of drunk and high teenagers, the teachers really did a shitty job or they just didn't care. Ronin tried to find them, whispers his sweet corruption-filled words into their ear, kiss them, dance with them before they will share a truly devilish dance amongst the dead, amongst all the sinners who tried to play holy fools.

He saw them, they were looking at him. Ther looked even worse than when they were on the stage. It bothered Ronin, something didn't feel right. And the worst part? He could only stare at them. Look at them as they stared back, the people between them blocking their way.

Music was rumbling in his ears, making him feel like he was about to go deaf. The lights were making Ther's face change colour from red to blue, then to pink and purple. Their eyes looked empty, not even a small light of happiness in them, nothing. The gaze similar to all of these he killed, empty, soulless. Their lower lip trembling, they tried to hide it when they felt Ronin's gaze on their lips. Ther was clutching their hands on their dress, pushing whatever feelings they felt into their strong hold.

It all bothered Ronin, he saw them in terrible times, but nothing compared to this. He couldn't shake off that weird feeling that this was the last time he would ever see them. And it made it all so much worse, he had to reach them, he had to go with plan, he had to...

They were gone. When he reached the spot where they were standing there was nothing, just a prom queen crown laying on the floor like a worthless piece of trash. Which it was, just a piece of cheap metal that Ronin could break by just stepping on it.

He picked it up.

If he was about to find the missing "queen" he could as well crown them himself, as the ruler of filth and chaos, the perfect god to his perfect rot. The idea sent a shiver running down his spine, oh the pleasure it gave him. He just wanted to get Ther out of the misery that was taking over them, make them in the perfect image that they were meant to be, give them the closure they desired. And to make it all come true, Ronin has to find them first.

Looking through the whole school would be a long struggle, they never had a favourite spot inside that place, at least not when he was still in the town. Ronin decided on talking to people, not his favourite activity, but he had no other choice.

"Hey, did you see where Estridge went?"

He chose a small group of girls, they were the ones who talked to Ther ever since they stepped from the stage. They turned to look at him, curiosity mixed in with disgust. All these years and nothing change, they all still looked at him the same way. What a warm welcome, truly.

"You mean Ethereality? No. We don't know where she went."

He nodded, barely stopping himself from glaring at them for that "she". He approached some more people, the answer always the same.

"I didn't see her."

She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She.

Why couldn't those blind fucking ignorant fools tell who Ther was? Why were they so amused by making Ther carrying that cross on their back? Oh how much he wanted to get rid of them, break their bones, stone them alive, hang their bodies. Watch the blood and guts spill, forming a beautiful massacre dedicated to Ther, maybe he would even take the sinners' hearts to offer them to his love, as a sign that no one can take this new form from them?

The feeling of uneasiness, of losing control, it was becoming more real, Ronin was being drowned in it. It was freaking him out, he couldn't lose control, he couldn't let whatever was coming to happen. He had to stop it at all coast, even if it means that he will have to kidnap Ther from that fucking town without having their sweet revenge yet. Revenge is a dish best served cold so it could as well wait, now he had a different priority.

"Um, you are looking for Estridge, right?"

A girl much shorter than Ronin asked, he didn't know her, but it didn't matter. She could have answers about Ther whereabouts, and if she'll lie, he knows who to get first.

"Yeah, d'ya knows where i can find them?"

He stopped fucking with the she and her bullshit, he didn't have it in him to remember that he should watch the way he refers to Ther, he couldn't give less of a fuck in that moment anyway.

"I think that she went to the gardens, she sat there a lot.."

Of course. Why didn't he think of that? It was Ther, if they would sit anywhere, it would be the gardens. He gave the girl a quick "thanks" and left the gym. The music getting more muffled with every step he took. The air getting heavier around him, he had a hard time breathing. The image of Ther's empty eyes was filling him with uncertainty. He didn't realise it, but he was running to the gardens. If he was about to see his world crash, he could be there faster.

And it did crash.

There, in the middle of a flower bed, Ther was laying, their arms weakly reaching out to the sky, as if they wanted to touch the moon.

"Ther, fucking hell.."

His voice was pained when he fell to his knees right in front of them, breath heavy, eyes widened.

Ther was slipping away. Dying.

"Ther, do not.. do not fucking close your fucking eyes!"

He shouted in desperation, holding them now, close to his body, his hold was tight, like he was hoping that he can stop this. He was cursing everything he could blame for this. His mind was in chaos, he couldn't even look at them.

"Ro... Ro, I..."

Ther's voice was weaker than ever, their gaze was a little less empty now that they could see Ronin, be with him alone. But it didn't make him feel better, it made him want to tear his heart out of his chest, give it to Ther as a way to keep them alive.

"Ro... the Angels. It was all too much, a-and, and Craig, he..."

Tears fell from their eyes.

Oh. Craig Doughton. Of course it was that fucker's fault. Ronin didn't even need to hear the story. He could already see his disgusting hands roam all over Ther's body, taking her tears as cries of pleasure, after all he only cared about his own satisfaction. And the fact that his "girlfriend" was begging and fighting? That was just a play for him, there was no reason for Ethereality to not enjoy the "fun".

Oh Ronin saw red, he saw his skull open, his body damaged so much that no one will recognise him, he will enjoy his screams and begs, he will avenge Ther, make him feel their pain.

Ther's weakening body was what tore Ronin out of his mind. Right. The person he wants to avenge is dying, taking their lasts breaths in his arms.

"When...when did you-"

He didn't even need to finish, Ther answered him in the middle of his question.

"When you... weren't arriving... I just couldn't take it anymore, not when that... he told me what he wants to do with me."

Their voice broke again, shaking weakly. Ronin felt the anger mix with sorrow. If only he had arrived earlier.

"Ther, I will burn this town, kill every motherfucked who dared to hurt you. Please, don't close your eyes."

He was begging, begging them to stay alive, even if he knew how death works. He wanted them to stay, he needed them. His desperation was so strong, it was overwhelming.

Ther, instead of answering, used all their strength to make Ronin lean forward, so they could share this last kiss together. The kiss felt weak, fleeting. It was Ther's last goodbye, the first and last time they would ever be able to bid Ronin farewell.

"I love you... Ro..."

They are gone.

Dead.

Ronin was holding his dead lovers, despair feeling his mind. He wanted to tear himself apart, join Ther in death. He can't accept it. Of all people, why Ther?

Why Ther? Why his lover? Why before they could be free?

These questions made his blood boil, his mind fill with all the people in the gym.

It was all their fault. Now, they need to pay the price. They all will grovel under his feet, live the same pain that Ther had to suffer through. He will make sure of it, he will watch them rot.

Ronin wiped the one lonely tear from his cheek, swallowing his feelings, letting the sorrow turn into a fuel for his strength. He took one of Ther's bracelets, he needed something to hold on into, to keep as a memorial, as a trace of Ther.

If he had to make Angelwood a forgotten town, then he could as well keep one piece of it all to himself.

can't think of a song more perfect for them.

I saw another angel. Again couldn't help myself they won't leave my mind.

Rottober Day 4 - Rebirth

Tear

(With & without filters)

I don’t know much about them (I’m trying to get into the fandom:3)

Ther is my muse rn ✨️

Before the madness of an overbearing town takes over

.

After…..