Work In Progress

My head is a mess. I’m fighting for something I’m not even sure I even want. Maybe I’m just fighting to fight. Maybe it’s all down to my control issues. My not wanting to be alone issues.

Fuck.

Let’s run away & meet who we were meant to be. Because i don’t like this version of me. You wouldn’t either if you really knew me. Deep down. Down in trenches. The emptiness where it feels like my soul once was. Who knows where it is now. Your guess would be better than mine. Let’s run away & pretend who we were never existed.

“We’ll start you out on 25 mg and go from there” Dr. K said.

I feel like im right back where I started. No. I feel like I’m miles further back now.

I’m sitting in bed panicking because I just took my new medicine for the first time.

I’ve had it for days. I’ve read the bottle over and over again, trying to convince myself that this bottle doesn’t admit weakness.