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...i grit my teeth – god damn this world for forcing polarity, life and existence. for trapping me, a soul of the universe, in a body of the world.

the constant dichotomy, we are hardy creatures, squishy yet rigid

wondering what went wrong why it happened what will happen next and what it all means..

me, the alien, a foreign creature even to myself

why do we bother ourselves wishing for anything, when it is all already in motion and on the way here each moment, speeding ahead, speeding towards us each yesterday, gone and past before we could grasp our fingers around it each tomorrow, just like that, turned into yesterday

the aching and the yearning to search and to question, never satiated perhaps suffering is too simple of a word as always, a semantic issue at heart.

i am exposed to acknowledge, accept, and nurture

i am full of love, and deeply loved in gracious return

i am grateful for every fleeting beauty, kiss, glimpse into the eyes of infinity

i am here to be and to feel, and to relish together

hunt the bugs patch up the framework >empty the trash..

simplify the command chain break down the binary >unplug..

rewire the motherboard rewrite the code >reboot…

detangle the cyber space sort through the cords >reroot…

the sky cried today, so i did too

gut punch, swollen eyes, heavy heart

humid, haunting, and hellish (at times) complex, regenerative, and epochal (always)

memories subsist on the present, to be probed and devoured circumlocutious yet persistent

here I lay, flayed open and exposed – on the precipice of change here I lay, human, covered in my own blood and tears – in sorrow and agony and awe here I lay, soft and wet and shivering – my soul a coward in the night