The Prophet Chandler

texting my dad “is st peter at the gates of heaven in scripture or is that a catholic reimagining à la dantes inferno” and he says “just an interpretation from jesus saying he has the keys to heaven” and then i delete my post that says if you don’t suck the strap st peter turns you away bc im not interested in perpetuating biblical inaccuracy

good on the virgin mary for not being like an autism mom about it

if i got stigmata i would not devote my life to god and simply carry on as usual. so what there’s holes in my wrists. it’s a tuesday.

Very female trait of Jesus to die for mankind's character development

eve was a girlboss for eating that fruit. adam was a himbo for doing what his wife said. i will not elaborate

“Could I BE any more possessed?” -Chandler in the cursed F.R.I.E.N.D.S dvd that showed up on my doorstep this morning

good morning virtuous pagans, the lustful, gluttons, hoarders, wasters, the wrathful, heretics, the violent against neighbors, suicides, blasphemers, sodomites, usurers, pimps, seducers, flatterers, simoniacs, sorcerers, barrators, hypocrites, thieves, false counselors, schismatics, alchemists, impostors, counterfeiters, perjurers, traitors to kindred, traitors to country, traitors to guests, traitors to benefactors, and satan

youtube channel of man giving intense apologies with husterical and real crying for things he didnt do and knows he didnt do

jesus christ atoning for the sins of mankind

i have a condition where i cant watch a sitcom without it becoming a better sitcom in my head which is how i end up watching and enjoying so many bad tv shows