Cassandra Vaine

"You can have my heart."

"I'm afraid you asked for this."

"I promise you, you're all I see."

"You are the reason I still fight."

"You can run, but you can't hide."

"True friends stab you in the front."

"Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts."

"Well, don't you feel so much better?"

"I promise you I'll never leave your side."

"Promise me you'll never leave my side."

"Cut off my wings and come lock me up."

"You must've made some kind of mistake."

"Just pull the plug, yeah, I've had enough."

"Sometimes I wonder why are we all here."

"Are we just ladders in the world of snakes?"

"You got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine."

"I lost my wife this year, we've lost our friend..."

"Come sink into me and let me breathe you in."

"Such a bitter irony like a kick right to the teeth."

"The nightmares in our heads are bad enough…"

"You got me on my knees, I'm your one-man cult."

"Always fighting battles, but it never seem to end."

"Well, hate is gasoline, a fire fueling all my dreams."

"I thought I'd sold my soul, but he kept the receipt."

"We're all fucked in the head, alone and depressed."

"I'm sorry, but it's too late, and it's not worth saving."

"Time won't help you, 'cause karma has no deadline."

"I think we're doomed, and now, there's no way back."

"You want salvation? Well, I'm sorry, we're all doomed."

"I'll leave you choking on every word you left unspoken."

"Death is on my mind so much, it makes me wanna die."

"My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost."

"I need to feel something, 'cause I'm still so far from home."

"I dealt with too much fuckin' shit and now I'm in too deep."

"And you know that I'm in love with the mess, I think I like it."

"Call me a nihilist, I guess I'm just unclear as to why I bother."

"Every wound will shape me, every scar will build my throne."

"'Cause if life's one big fuckin' game, well, I don't wanna play."

"Show me what I can't see when the spark in my eyes is gone."

"Come shove me over the edge, 'cause my head is in overdrive."

"You can drag me through hell if it meant I could hold your hand."

"So how dare you try and steal my flame just 'cause yours faded?"

"But if I sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song, I'll be alright."

"So dig two graves, 'cause when you die, I swear I'll be leaving by your side."

"The sticks and the stones that you used to throw have built me an empire."

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you… 'cause I'll forget, but I'll never forgive you."

"Remember the moment you left me alone and broke every promise you ever made?"

"So you can throw me to the wolves… Tomorrow I will come back, leader of the whole pack."

"And I really wish that you could help, but my head is like a carousel, and I'm going 'round in circles."

“And I drank poison.”

“That right there’s a ghost.”

“Why are you on the roof?”

“I’ll steal the clothes right off ya.”

“My husband is stuck in the wall.”

“Oh god, I angered a floating cow.”

“Why can’t I boop a dragon’s snoot?”

“I’m gonna steal stuff from the ghost.”

“That’s… that’s not how you do that??”

“You can’t hurt me, I’m a floofy doggo.”

“Didn’t know those could fly, but alright?”

“Why can’t I decorate my home with bones?”

“Oops… didn’t mean to yell at you that hard.”

“I wanted that gold, but it’s stuck to the plate.”

“Fine, stab me. But, I’m taking all the alcohol.”

“Okay, sure, TECHNICALLY that was my fault.”

“How did you…? I shot you. I freaking shot you!”

“Why are you trying to sell my trash back to me?”

“I think you need to drop the sword and sit down.”

“Oh, he just yeeted himself out that window, okay.”

“I would feel bad about that, but he was being rude.”

“I have befriended the goblins! I am the goblin god!”

“Heh, I’ll clear your skies, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh. Oh no, these are drugs. You’re selling me drugs.”

“Why is there a dead dude here? Who killed this dude?”

“I have never considered punching a child until now…”

“I have thirty wheels of cheese and it’s still not enough.”

“I have six skulls in my pocket, solely for the aesthetic.”

“Yes, hello, hi, I would like to purchase one drug, please.”

“Note to self: don’t yell at the plates, people don’t like that.”

“He kicked me in the face and still didn’t know I was there.”

“Why can I pickpocket a necklace, but not a piece of bread?”

“Why are you hitting me? WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME?”

“Ooh, brutal death and dismemberment… been there, buddy.”

“I just drank forty bottles of wine in a row. I should be dead.”

“Hold up, stop hitting me for a second… I need to eat cheese.”

“I’ll punch you right in the mouth. I don’t care, I’m invincible.”

“I just picked up a flower, why am I carrying too much to run?”

“I can ride dragons. And I'mma ride one right into ____’s house.”

“The  F-I-N-E-S-T  weapons and armor… we both know that’s a fib.”

“I’m afraid of him sneaking into my house and trying to sell me stuff.”

“Let me out of the door. Let me out… let me out of this freaking door.”

“How to be a Hero of Myth and Legend… step one: take all the cheese.”

“I did nothing to deserve this… except stab that dude. And rob that house.”

“If I get a dragon stuck in my house, does that mean I can keep it as a pet?”

“I just levitated in front of you, and you’re gonna talk to me about desserts?”

“You keep sassing me like that and I’ll send YOU to the ‘Cloud District’, ya get me?”

“I didn’t push him off the top of the tower. He fell off. After I hit him with a few arrows.”

“Just hear me out: what if a buncha monsters just, y'know, happened to show up and kill him?”

mixed bag of funny, angsty, angry, and just plain weird

"I picked you a flower."

"Am I dead? Please say yes."

"One more word and I'll leave."

"I don't think we can salvage this."

"If you were really sorry, you'd change."

"Don't tell me what I'm allowed to feel…"

"Don't act like you know what's going on."

"No. Get out of here. I don't want to see you."

"You snore so loud, I can't hear myself think."

"Who ever gave you the right to act this way?"

"They weren't supposed to tell you where I am."

"It's called empathy. Maybe you should learn it."

"I know I'm bad at this; you don't have to rub it in."

"Yes, I hear you. All the dramatics. It's hard not to."

"Why are you shrinking yourself for everyone else?"

"Yeah, let's see how YOU like cold feet on your back!"

"No. No, tell me what you actually think. I want to know."

"Just tell me how to help. I want to, I just don't know how."

"I'm gonna need you to take all that sass and go over there."

"You don't have to prove anything to me, you know that, right?"

"How long have you been carrying all those secrets on your own?"

"Let me just ask the spirits of the dead, first… The spirits said 'no'."

"Nothing you do will ever be good enough for them, so stop trying."

"Has anyone ever told you that your vibe is strange and off-putting?"

"I wanted to slam the door really dramatically, but the hinge caught."

"Everyone should be a lot more appreciative of me not going apeshit."

"Every time I see you, I get cute aggression, I can't help it. I must squish."

"This would be a lot more soothing without the underlying, constant terror."

"It's hard to believe your parents loved you if they gave you a name like that."

"If I looked into your brain, I think I'd just hear the Benny Hill theme on repeat."

"I knew this wasn't gonna work. Doesn't make it any less disappointing, though."

"Does this task require a bra/pants? Because, if it does, I will not be participating."

"I heard your stomach rumble from over here. No argument, I'm getting you food."

"Gonna need you to take a deep breath, find whatever inner peace you have, and be quiet."

"You'd have nothing to worry about in a zombie apocalypse… I mean, they eat brains, right?"

"I knew you weren't good for much, yet you continue to find new ways to disappoint me."

"Yeah, you jumpscared me! You move so quietly, it's like perpetually living in an indie horror game!"

"I can't lower my bar of expectations any more. The devil is already using it for limbo parties in hell."

"You're an amazing scientific study waiting to happen on how someone can survive so long without any common sense at all."