A Certain Starlight

It’s like the Asian Bachelor.

Buckle in, friends.

OK. So.

I am an Asian American woman and I’ve always been pretty vocal about diversity and representation. I’m actually Japanese American and biracial, so I don’t look exactly like anyone in this movie.

But I was not prepared.

I am not ashamed to say that I cried intermittently from the first scene until the lights went up at the end of the movie.

I’m 20 years old, and it has been 25 years since there has been a major studio film that featured an Asian American lead and an all Asian cast. Never in my lifetime. I’ve been saying that since the film was announced, but the true meaning didn’t sink in until I finally got to the theater and was sitting there, preparing myself.

My entire lifetime, I have never gone to a movie theater and seen people who look like me, from my background, up on the screen. Not like this.

So much of the film rang true for me. I saw elements of my mother and grandmother and great-grandmother up on the screen. There’s a scene where a bunch of the family gets together (albeit in a mansion) to make dumplings, and I couldn’t help but think about how every year, my family gets together to make mochi at my aunt’s house.

Most of all, I saw myself reflected in Rachel Chu. (What a queen). 

In the movie, Rachel struggles with her identity as an Asian American in Asia. Again, not exactly my story, but she’s told essentially that she’s not Asian enough, that her head and her heart are different. As a biracial person, I have been told countless times that I am not enough, that I am not really Asian, that my identity is different, other. Seeing Rachel deal with that and come out stronger made my heart sing.

The women in this movie are so incredibly strong, all in different ways. There’s Rachel, of course. But then there’s Peik Lin (is it too dramatic to say I would die for Awkwafina cuz it’s true), who’s funny and over the top and supportive and the best friend we all want. And Eleanor, who’s tough as nails and protective and even when she opposes Rachel, I recognized my own mother in her, a woman who would go toe-to-toe with anyone to protect me. There was Astrid, who showed a beautiful quiet strength that is so rarely shown on screen. Asian women portrayed with strength, given agency and allowed to own their sexuality in a way that stems from themselves rather than men’s desires. And let’s also appreciate the fact that the men in this movie are fine af and are allowed to be gorgeous and romantic, despite the fact that Hollywood’s spent years telling us the Asian men aren’t worthy of being romantic interests. (Have you seen Henry Golding? That is not correct). 

On screen, Asians are so often relegated to tired stereotypes - the nerd, the brain, the socially awkward person, the soulless career person, the tiger mom, the lotus blossom. Not in this movie. These characters are so beautifully three-dimensional, so fantastically nuanced that they felt like real people, people that I knew. And a smaller thing I noticed that surprised me – there were characters that perhaps leaned into stereotypical depictions of Asians in the past. But the fact that they weren’t the only Asian on the screen made the experience fundamentally different – that character wasn’t forced to be the representation for all of us, they were just another example of a person, and that felt familiar too.

And THEN taking a step away from the fact that this movie is groundbreaking and culturally important…

THE MOVIE IS SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL AND GORGEOUS AND FUN.

It has been ages since I’ve seen a romantic comedy that was as good as this one. It’s visually stunning (exhibit A of infinity below).

It’s also adorable and charming and made me smile and laugh. The love story is incredible, the chemistry is there, and I can’t say enough good things about it. Also, this is hands down the best use of the song ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ that I’ve ever seen. I sobbed.

Does this represent all of the Asian American community? 

No, of course not. We’re diverse af, and it’ll unfortunately be a while before we’re all represented. But I believe films with people of color shouldn’t bear the burden of representing everyone contained within a single identity. They can’t. I wish they could and I’m hoping that we’re heading in a direction where more and more people get to tell their stories. And as more people get to take the reins, as Hollywood begins to realize that the rest of us exist and that every myth they’ve ever believed about people of color in film is wrong, hopefully one film won’t bear the weight of telling a story that must represent the experience of 17 million people.

So this is just one step.

But speaking solely for myself, I walked out of this movie in awe, in tears and inspired. And pretty damn happy.

There’s a little girl inside of me that would have loved to see this movie years ago. I don’t know how my life would be different if I had felt what I feel now. But it’s here now. And it was glorious.

English

Cantonese (spoken by Nick’s mom and family)

Mandarin (spoken by Rachel, her mom, and Nick’s grandma)

Singlish (spoken by Peik Lin’s mom)

Hokkien (spoken by Peik Lin’s dad + in the mahjong scene)

Malay (in the street food scene + slang words)

French (when Astrid reads a bedtime story)

january: fresh journals, black and white notes, bullet journals filled with motivational quotes, cold brew coffee, loves writing letters, finishes everything on time, a daydreamer, seems laid back but really they’re stressed about everything

february: doodles in the margins of notes, the person who lends you their pens, sloppy handwriting, loves motivational speeches and classical music, finishes easy assignments early but writes their essay the night before its due,

march: straight A’s, study playlists, the teachers favorite, color coded notes, everyone thinks they’re naturally smart (but really they’re spending every night studying), forgets to eat sometimes, hasn’t slept for what feels like years

april: open windows, listening to the rain and thunder, tea pots full of earl grey, a functionally messy desk, fairy lights, always losing their pens, a huge nerd, afraid to raise their hand in class in case their answer is wrong

may: cramming for tests, lives in the library, highlighters and sticky notes everywhere, drinks espresso, would definitely consider bringing their coffee pot to school, messy desk, if an assignment is due at 9:00 they’ll submit it at 8:59

june: late nights, smoothies for breakfast, hanging out with friends, takes notes on their laptop, minimalist, organized, says they’re studying but they’re actually on studyblr, tries to study everything at once and gets distracted

july: staying up late to read, learning new languages, focuses on the learning and not the grade, watches documentaries for fun, loves the classics, owns a thousand pens, takes studyspo pictures, hundreds of unread emails,

august: stationery shopping, getting ahead in class, iced drinks, spending weekends with friends, takes very little notes but does well in class anyways, a relaxed personality, healthy snacks, the master of self care

september: a morning person, new pens and folders, a perfectionist, audio records classes and re-writes notes, over works themselves, loves the smell of new books, competitive, “i’m gonna fail!” but ends up getting A’s and B’s

october: chai lattes in travel mugs, will study for three days straight and then not study for a week, snacking in class, uses washi tape and stickers, sleeps for eight hours but is tired anyways, terrible at accepting compliments

november: gratitude journals, mental health days, the baristas at their local cafe know their name because they’re always studying there, study groups, loves to travel but never travels, cinnamon in their drinks, trouble sleeping, sweet smiles