The Miscarriage Poet

We need better words. We deserve better words. Our experiences matter. Our children matter. Their deaths matter.

How is it okay that this is the word used to describe the death of our children, and their births? The loss of a baby is a birth, whether it was surgical, medical or happened on its own. It is not a heavy period, and for the love of all that is holy it is not a "corrupt or incompetent management" of a pregnancy. It is death. It is birth. It is the entire circle of life in a heartbreaking event. The definition above is the original meaning of the word. I can tell you this—it wasn't a woman, let alone a loss mother who decided to use it to describe our losses. And I am not okay with that. How about you? I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you prefer to describe what happened?

I think it is about time I introduce myself! I am a thirty-four year old mom of three (two living children and my darling daughter who lived and died—2017). I am a Canadian living in Montréal, but all my children were born in America. I will share more of my loss journey as we go along but I will share now that on August 1, 2017 I heard the words "there is no heartbeat" and felt myself crash through the floor. I was induced and delivered my beautiful baby girl the next day. I miss her with everything I am and started writing poetry about her and the experience almost immediately as a place to put my feelings. Three years later I started sharing my poetry in the hopes that it might benefit others going through the loss of their children. I know I read poetry as well to help me cope but found very little focused on the themes and topics surrounding baby loss. I hope it can serve in a small way to bring comfort to others and to break down the stigma that surrounds our losses.