i am so in love with you
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Today's Document
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@themindofagirrl
i am so in love with you

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a year and some change and you still confuse the hell out of me
what am i to you?
You talk to me with words, I look at you with feelings. • Anna Karina, Danish-French film avant garde actress (1940-2019)
a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets
you only want me when someone else isn’t filling your bed

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Part of being human is that we can’t go back, we can only hope that if we come across that moment again we’ll do it the right way.
Jesse Lacey (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
i can’t get myself to move on because i might see him again. it won’t be for a while, but it’s not like i havent had to wait a while for something before. there’s also strings attached that he doesn’t know about that prevent me from being able to let go. he has no idea that he was the first, and pretty much only. but how am i supposed to sit here like this for a whole year? i cant. but i also dont know anything else but him, so i don’t want anything else but him. im so stuck and i don’t know how to move past it. and no one understands it.
Love Letter #902
What would I do if I saw you today? Would I tear up from joy? Would I scream out I love you? Would I smile so big my face would crack? Yes. Yes. And yes. But you are there and I am here and the distance hurts. So I wait.......
When I look out my window, I see love. I see people walking hand in hand. I see kids playing. I hear birds singing their songs. But I am inside. I’m looking for you. When will you come home? When will you walk down my path, and let me have the love I see? Soon. Very soon. Being alone here without you is not one of the hardest things I have ever done. No. It is THE hardest. And I want it over. Now. What would I do if I saw you today? I wish I knew.

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It’s weird. Acting like we’re two old friends, catching up. But I guess that’s what we are, right? Ghosts of each other’s pasts. Only I still don’t want to be that. I want to be your past, your present, and your future. I want to be your mornings and your nights. Your midday afternoons. I want to spend all my days with you. Every single second of them. I want to hold you and touch your skin. I want the chance to get to know you and all your darkest places. I want you.
I wish I could kiss you for all the seconds of the day. We’d come up for air and that’s it. I wish I could hear you whisper my name. I wish I could touch your face. I wish I could run my fingers over your arms again and make you shudder. “What?” “Nothing, it just feels good.”
“My throat burns, like a forest ripped raw from a fire, and my only satisfaction is to put your cool lips against mine, and gaze longingly at the oceans in your eyes. Oh, how I love to swim. Once submerged, I realized you were so shallow, yet your depths dragged me under. And I couldn’t help but drown. And now I’m on fire again.”
— Excerpt from a book I will never write #106 // @22planets
I don’t want to look like this anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore
living in a lonesome way

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I want to talk to him. Tell him I miss him. That I want to hold him. That I want to be held by him. I want to tell him I think about him everyday, all day long. I want to tell him that I want to visit him. That I want to be with him. I want to spend all my days and nights and hours and minutes and seconds with him. But I can’t. I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know why. I think it’s partially because I respect myself too much; I hate what he’s put me through. But I also think it’s because I’m scared of what he’ll say. Or, rather, what he won’t say.
I feel like I don’t know you anymore