All Aboard the Sexy Train

After eight months, they moved in together. It was crazy and spontaneous but Dean’s lease was up and it just worked.

They’re approaching their two year anniversary when Castiel looks up from his morning coffee and stares at Dean. “You know, I don’t like your last name.”

Dean, never a fan of Cas’ early-morning-philosophical-brain, rolls his eyes and continues to check Facebook on his phone while eating breakfast. “What’s wrong with my last name?”

“It doesn’t suit you.” He deposits his empty coffee cup in the sink. “I think you should change it.”

That makes Dean look up. “Change it? To what?”

“Novak,” Castiel answers, before turning and walking towards their bedroom.

You’ve been visited by the Money Bird. He only appears every 500 years.

we are not who you think we are.

the boy with turrets told the funniest jokes

the girl who raked her nails up and down her skin could create the most exquisite drawings

the girl who abused drugs had the wisest soul

the boy with schizophrenia had the biggest heart

the girl who tried to kill herself told the boy with insomnia stories to help lure him to sleep

the boy who wanted to kill himself had the deepest passion for cooking

the girl with slits and scars all over her body dried my tears and told me I was beautiful

the boy with anger issues gave the warmest hugs

the girl with bulimia told everyone every day that they looked beautiful in their bodies

the boy who was a compulsive liar told us that he wanted us all to get better, and that he was for once telling the truth

the girl who almost drank herself to death stood up for anyone that felt they were feeling bullied

the boy with social anxiety made sure nobody sat alone at meals

Please. Please. Please. Stay away from heroin and meth. Please.

Don’t say “I just wanna try it once, I can control myself.” Don’t say it.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

For many this would be distressing. 

The Bechdel:

two or more women talking to each other about something other than a man

The Mako Mori:

at least one female character with her own narrative arc that is not about supporting a man’s story

The Sexy Lamp:

a female character that cannot be removed from the plot and replaced with a sexy lamp without destroying the story.

Chef’s Specials:

The Anti-Freeze:

no woman assaulted, injured or killed to further the story of another character.

The “Strength is Relative”:

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