It's nice to meet another Catholic. I need some help. So, my father was a Protestant and married my mother, who has been Buddhist all her life, even now. And I've disliked that. I've disliked how my father chose to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, even though I've loved and respected my mother since I'm her child. My father's lack of religiosity has affected me. It made me not so religious all my childhood that's caused me to be insecure and fall for unchristian beliefs out of pressure in the past. I've become more religious when my father decided to convert into Catholicism and encouraged me to do so. We've been Catholics since a few years ago. I like the change of becoming more religious. I know when to be meek to obey God and when to be assertive when someone wants to encourage me to sin, I wear long skirts instead of trousers as a woman to maintain the utmost modesty, etc. But my past of being not so religious. How do I deal with it? I've cried about it while praying to God, asking for his forgiveness. But the guilt still remains and it bothers me sometimes and how I handle my guilt feels sinful so I need some help
Hi! First of all, God bless you and keep you close ♡ I’m so glad you joined the Faith and have found hope in Christ.
Everyone has their own personal faith journey, and even the saints struggled at times with sin! Remember that you are human, and because of original sin it is in our nature as a fallen race to mess up- because we are not perfect. No one is except for Jesus and Mary.
When I was younger, my parents raised me in the Faith. I am a cradle Catholic, but even people that are raised in the Faith are susceptible to falling away from it. When I entered my teen years, I started to fall away from Jesus. I didn’t care so much about going to Mass and I didn’t pray at home or even reach out to God. I fell into a cycle of sin that I never sought redemption for, and I stopped going to Confession altogether for a number of years. When I moved away to college, I even stopped going to Mass on Sunday.
Then, close to Easter when I was newly 20 years old, I had a very sudden urge to return to Mass. I rediscovered my faith through love of the Virgin Mary, who is my patron saint. I began to pray the rosary daily, to ask Her for assistance in strengthening my faith, and to pray for Her intercession to pull me closer to Jesus. From there, I fell in love with the Church all over again. I started to enjoy going to Mass and to pay attention, I started veiling to honor the Blessed Virgin, I bought a prayer candle with Mary on it and had it blessed to pray with it, and I started to see God in everything good I encountered. I find joy in prayer and thoughts of Our Lord.
Soon after that, the sins that I so habitually committed started to have less and less hold on me. Every time I had a temptation to sin or started to indulge in sinful thoughts, I asked Jesus immediately to banish them from my mind and from my heart. I still struggle with self control and at times the compulsion to sin is very strong. But resisting it is easier through the help of Our Lord, the Blessed Virgin, and the saints.
Whenever I think of my sinful past or the times that I discarded Jesus for instant gratification, I *am* sad. But then I start to think about how Jesus must have felt to have me return to him. He and all of Heaven must have been rejoicing for one of the lost sheep to return to the grace of God! That is how it must be for you too.
Remember that you are never alone in your faith. Legions upon legions of Angels stand behind you, as well as millions of saints, martyrs, and archangels that champion you from the heavens. The Blessed Virgin and our Lord Jesus are strengthening you and blessing you every step that you take closer to God!
When I feel sad that I ever fell away from the Church, I remember that when I went back to confession for that first time, my guardian angel must have been running laps around me and jumping for joy, as well as every soul in Heaven who has been praying for my return to Jesus. That thought strengthens me and gives me hope, and I remember that feeling every time I feel compelled to give in to temptation or sin.
One thing that can help very much is praying to Our Lady for guidance. Since I have a special relationship with her as my patron saint, I asked her to help me reach for Jesus and resist Satan’s pull. I started to pray a rosary daily, and then it was like a miracle- it felt easier to say no to sinning and I started to feel genuine joy when I was able to turn back to God in a moment of vulnerability.
Remember also that you have a community of the Catholic Church on Earth who is cheering you on, though you may not see it. Every day we pray for the unfaithful to return to God, and any one of us is there should you need guidance or help.