beautiful and totally fucked up

I try to stop the cats eating their own hair, I don’t want them chewing human hair too. By all means, pick up the cats just don’t let them near your hair.

But, you see, now it's chewed my hair I feel we have a connection.

I thought we were allowed to touch the pets? I can put him - or her - back if you want.

Well in general it usually does. I make sure to keep up with things during the week so I don’t have to one weekend.

That's nice.

Yes, yes always on call, that’s the duty of a Hit Wizard, still I can delude myself a little bit.

I wasn't speaking about your duty or being on call or whatever, I just meant in general.

Thank merlin for the weekend.

The weekend doesn't mean a break, you know.

Does this mean I have an excuse to play pranks on people today? Or am I going to be scolded -if they go correctly- for being a right bitch?

Unless they're really good pranks, I wouldn't bother. Generic ones start to get boring.

Sorry to burst your bubble but my mother wanted me. She unfortunately died giving birth to me. Chances are my father didn’t want me…which is exactly why I intend on finding him. I’m sorry…and who are you?

You're being out of hand. Although I wasn't exactly sensitive, I did not outright disrespect you in any way. Quite usually, those who are adopted generally were not wanted by their birth parents. Unless their parents were unable to provide for them. However, statistically, the greater majority of wizard children have at least one parent who is involved in the wizard community. And with the wide variety of jobs constantly needing people to take them up, only the tiniest percentage of magical beings are employed. Of course, if you look at it closer you would see those unemployed are most likely werewolves or vampires. But with the Ministry's new laws, acceptance is increasing and any species can take up a job within the Ministry. Half of them are very dangerous jobs and are in great demand of people. So, realistically, it was unlikely for you to be adopted for provision reasons. And if you weren't so quick to jump down my throat, perhaps you'd understand where I was coming from.

Being adopted sucks.

Chances are your parents didn't want you. You should probably forget about it.

Hair brushes are way too expensive. All I want is a piece of plastic to run through my hair, I don’t want anything else and it only needs to serve that purpose. Why on Earth would they be more than a galleon?

Are you serious? Maybe you're looking in the wrong shops?

Don’t you just want to sit down in your home with a proper meal?

Of course. But I don't need to.

Our relationship is nothing but professional, Maria.

Oh please, our relationship is more professional than what I just witnessed.

That sort of makes sense. If you’re not buying food often, then what are you supposed to eat?

I kind of buy when I need. Mostly canned foods; soups and whatnot. Cereal bars. It's like getting dinner from a supermarket except with all my meals.

I thought it’d cheer you up, Maria. You know how keen I am to brighten someone’s day.

Oh, yes. It seems Miss Weasley especially. You know you're not supposed to get involved with your employees, right?

Explains the incredibly happy expression on your face.

At least I'm not one for forced happiness, Riley. That smile on your face isn't exactly genuine, it's much more natural for you to walk around with your forehead furrowed. 

Why don’t you have standard teabags? Everyone has standard teabags.

I haven't been shopping. For Christmas I was with my parents and didn't need to go buying food. Then I thought I could live off what I had until I needed to get to work again, because there's no point in getting a load of food if you're travelling all the time. It'll go off.

Yeah, I have taken to eating crisps instead.

I haven't got the time to shop for crisps, instead I've just got cereal bars and all those chocolates given at Christmas. Neither of which create a diverse and balanced diet if I'm honest.