show me a hero, and i’ll write you tragedy.

Joel knows the spot the two of you have chosen to rest is too exposed with the bare minimum of coverage from nearby trees and bushes. But you look at him with such exhaustion that he begrudgingly agrees to stay, if only until dawn. While you take the time to start a small fire and start the cooking of the portions of fresh meat the two of you managed to gather on your hunt, he sweeps the area to make sure no remnants of the infected linger. Satisfied with finding nothing, Joel makes his way back to the now low burning campfire and the smell of cooking meat.

“Ya find anything?” You look at him as he sits his pack next to yours, offering him the canteen of water as he takes a seat on the fallen log close to you. 

He shakes his head as he takes a deep drink, “No, which could be a good thing considerin’ how open we are out here.”

“I know it’s not perfect. M’also well aware that the only reason stopped because of me, so thank you,” you lean over under the guise of taking the canteen but instead press a soft kiss to the corner of his lips, feeling his lips quirk slightly.

“Well, it’s not like we couldn’t both use a break. Feels like we’ve been walking for days,” he takes another drink before passing the he water back to you, “‘sides, it’s not that awful of a spot. Stars look nice.”

You nod in agreement, your head tipping back to take in the stars as Joel takes over the cooking. The conversation fades and you’re covered in the silence of the night around you, one you’ve become accustomed to in the years of travel with the man at your side. At the thought of him, you right your head and glance in his direction. The flames of the fire lick at the angles of his face, half hidden in shadows while the other glows from what light the fire provides. You take him in slowly - the beard lining his jaw, the soft pout of his lips, the curve of his nose and settle on his eyes as they meet yours. 

“What’s got you quiet? That’s usually my job,” he tears off a bit of the meat, looking at you with a quirked brow as he catches you in your admiration. 

“Huh? S’nothing, I was just appreciating the view,” you took the offered meal, moving closer to him and the warmth of the fire. 

“The view bein’ our bleak surroundings or present company?” There is a smile to the question as he asks, his gaze lingering on yours before he turns back to own meal. 

You don’t hide the smile as you shake your head and continue eating, “Both I guess. Can’t say I’m really upset at either.”

You swear you hear him laugh softly as he continues to eat, the lull in conversation returns as you both enjoy the meal of small game and dried fruit. As the night wears on, you and Joel find yourself stretching out under the full moon. You knew, just as Joel said, that the spot wasn’t safe enough to stay but the exhaustion weighing on your bones was becoming impossible to ignore and he must have sensed it. 

“Sleep, darlin’, I’ll give you a few hours then we‘ll switch.” Before you can respond, he lays his well-worn jacket over you. His words soft in the night air as he continues, “it’ll be morning soon and we’ll need to move but just sleep for now.”

“You sure?” Your eyes are partially closed at your point of asking, making Joel chuckle as sits up fully and leans against the log. 

“Yeah, m’sure,” he leans his gun across his knees, his back braced against the log as he glances down at you for a response. Finding you asleep, he sighs and brushes a few strands of hair from your face.

Time seems to slow as Joel sits in silence, nothing but the low crackling of the fire and your quiet snores to feel the void of night. Just as you had admired him by the fire, he took the time to take you in as he always did in quiet moments - though, even after five years of travel, he still did it in a way that never drew your attention. 

He always knew you had shared his feelings, but you hadn’t been vocal about them until after the third year of his companionship, after a close call with clickers. The altercation had led to a fight between the two of you, your anger more fierce and direct than he was used to when it came to you. It had led to the tumbling of admittance to the feelings for him you had held captive. Joel hadn’t said anything, just tossed his gun aside and took you in his arms. The kiss he gave you had held every bit of what he couldn’t say and all that came next clicked into place with what had been brewing for years between the two of you. The years that came after were different but the same. He kept you close and the two of you fought side by side as always. When Ellie was added to your small group, the circle seemed complete even though he never admitted it out loud. 

Lost in his thoughts, Joel misses the snap of the distance limb under booted foot. He‘ll blame himself for it later when the danger is in front of you but for now, lost in his memories, he’s content in his obliviousness as to what’s to come. 

Turning his head to the sky, he sighs then glances at his once busted but now working watch. Somewhere between memories from the past and the promises of the present, he had lost track of time.  When he realizes just how much time has passed, he curses softly and moves to wake you up knowing you’ll be mad he robbed himself of his own rest if he lets you sleep longer. 

Nudging you awake, he leans to brush his lips along your forehead to wake you slowly. “C’mon, baby, it's your turn to take watch.”

“M’up. I’m up.” Your words mumble together as you stretch and move to sit up, groaning lowly. 

“You doin’ okay? Sounds like you could use another week of that,” he hesitates before moving into the same position you were previously in, sighing softly at the relief the hard ground gives his back. “I was going to give you another hour but -“

“But you knew I’d be mad.” As you look down at him, the small smile on his face gives you an answer. “Mm, you’re getting pretty smart in your old age, Miller.”

Joel huffs out a laugh and shrugs, “Never hear you complain about my age, darlin’. If I remember correctly I think you like it just fine, The experience and all that comes with it seems to keep you very satisfied.”

With that, you shove his side and laugh, draping his jacket over him. “Just go to sleep. I’d hate to have you grumpier than usual.”

He doesn’t argue, shifting slightly to get comfortable before he glances up at you, “you wake me if there’s trouble, understand?”

“Promise I will,” leaning down, you press a soft kiss to his lips and smile, “even though I can handle it myself.”

He returns your smile as you right yourself, pulling your knees to your chest before you toss a few remaining sticks on to the fire. The last thing Joel sees as sleep overtakes him is your face by the firelight, the warm hue of your eyes shining as you watch the flames dance. 

Muffled, angry conversation is the first thing that slowly filters into Joel’s consciousness as he wakes. He isn’t sure what wakes him, but he can feel more than one presence at the fire as his eyes remain close. He wishes his gun was closer, that he’d tucked it to his side like usual before he slept. 

“Just give us the supplies and we’ll go, you and the old man don’t have to get hurt.” The voice closest to Joel speaks, “I’d really hate to splatter that pretty face of yours across the trees.”

“You can fucking try, asshole. I’ll drop you before you have a chance to think.” He recognizes the ferocity of your voice and slowly moves to sit up, the press of cool metal against his temple has his eyes snapping open as he looks up to the three men surrounding the makeshift campsite. 

“Mornin’, grandpa. Why don’t you convince this pretty piece of ass to share y’all’s supplies so we don’t have to hurt ya? My buddy there has a twitchy finger and the last thing we want to do is kill anybody.” The stranger’s voice is laced with sarcasm and the glint Joel catches in his eyes is more evil than man, he knows the look well.

“He’s not doing shit! I told you no, now you leave on your own or I blow your buddy’s head off.” You step closer to Joel, your own gun pressed into your shoulder as you point it at the man standing over your partner. “I could get him and you before you get the first shot off.”

“Just let them have what we have left, girl. Don’t be stupid, you don’t have to play the hero.” The sound of Joel’s voice has your gaze dropping to where he half lays, half sits on ground.

“Better listen to him, sweetheart. Don’t want you playing the stupid hero.” The same man speaks again, cocking his gun as he moves closer, “give us the stuff.”

What happens next Joel will later recount as a blur, gunfighting he will say resembles that of the Texan westerns he grew up on. The man standing over him is the first one down, half his face missing as he topples to the ground next to him as you kick his shotgun over. His friend farther out of the group falls next, Joel’s shot landing dead center of his chest as the final two shots land. 

Joel watches as the man whose gun had been pointed at you falls to the ground, his face marred by your shot. He lets out a breath of relief as he moves to stand, looking the men over for any sign of infection before he turns at the soft call of his name. 

“J-Joel,” your voice sounds small as you call to him, “I think he got a shot in.”

Crimson. Dark, furious crimson is all that fills his vision as he looks to your hands pressed against the upper right side of your body. 

“No. NO!” Joel’s screams echo off the trees as he watches you crumple to the ground in front of him, “you’re okay, you’re okay.” He pleads as he moves to kneel next to you, his hands pressing over the wound. 

“I g-got him, didn’t even see it coming.” Your words are stuttered as you blink back tears, “guess I didn’t see him coming either.”

He looks you over, his eyes welling with tears as he takes in the spreading stain. “You still did good, baby.”

“Learned from the best,” a shift in your combined hands has you crying out in pain.

“Easy, easy I know it hurts but I need to look, okay?” He looks at you for approval before moving your hands to check the wound, his brow knitting as more blood pours for the wound. “Went straight through.”

Your words are slurred as you speak again, “s’not too bad, right?”

“No, ‘course not. You’ll be just fine, sweetheart. Not bad at all,” he knows isn’t the complete truth and he knows you’re at least a little more than half a day’s  walk from the compound while losing more blood than he can begin to figure. 

When he meets your eyes again, you chuckle and squeeze his hand gently. “You.. You are a shit liar, Miller.”

There, under the waning cover of night as the sky begins to streak with the orange of the impending sunrise, Joel holds what last good thing he knows will touch his life in quivering hands. Feeling the warmth of your body fade as the very essence of your life bleeds between the clasped fingers pressed to the wound inflicted by the raider’s gun. He makes a deal to whatever deity listening to spare your life, to keep you alive for him and spare him the pain of losing someone else.

“Don’t do this to me. Don’t leave me, okay? Don’t leave me, please.” His words are rushed as tears begin to fall, his hand pressing against the wound. “I’m going to have to move you, okay? We need to get you back.”

“Hurts.. Hurts b-bad. Just let me.. let me rest.” The words are soft as you fade in and out of consciousness, blinking up at him slowly.

“You can rest when we get to the compound, right now we’re moving.” He curses to himself as slips his pack on and the gun over his shoulder, pressing his jacket over the bleeding wound before he lifts you and you cry out weakly, “just hold on for me, I’ve got you.” 

You mumble a response and he spares one final glance around the camp before he starts his trek, the compound and medical help the only thing on his mind. Not the infected, not scavengers, just you.